She Didn't Have Time
A/N—It'd be best to listen to Terri Clark's She Didn't Have Time since that's what this fic is based off
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It had seemed like the perfect ending to her love story to everyone else. She finally had her Doctor and he was human, he'd age with her, he'd die with her. It seemed like a dream come true. She turned herself over to him completely, letting him take all he wanted and never taking anything in return. She lied to him a lot, telling him she loved him, knowing that she didn't. He wasn't her Doctor; he was a shadow, a cheap imitation.
Her mother saw through her charade, and insisted on telling her on a daily basis that she didn't need to stay with him, but she did. She was never going to find anyone else and she was too afraid to be alone. When she found out she was pregnant, she was terrified, then angry. She had never asked the Doctor to use protection, but she always hoped that he was smart enough to know not to impregnate her. Another reason she was convinced he was not the Doctor.
When she told him, he seemed just as scared, but he was also supportive. When they told her mother, she nearly killed the Doctor, calling him names and threatening to kill him, it took Pete to restrain her, telling her it wasn't worth wasting her energy on, it was already too late.
She had a lot of help in the months that followed and when her daughter was born, her entire world changed. The Universe suddenly stopped revolving around all her problems and started revolving around the tiny little girl in her arms. She named her Lilly, the Doctor having little say in it. They spent months adjusting to having a new baby in the house. Rose did most of the caring, and the Doctor did his best to help, but was rubbish as a father. He slept through the crying every night and couldn't figure out how to change a diaper. He had a million excuses, he never had to do this before (as if Rose had), this wasn't something he had wanted (how could he say something like that about his own child?).
She never had enough time to stop and pay attention to the Doctor anymore and she never noticed what was happening until it was too late. The Doctor walked through the house calmly, carrying one box full of everything he owned. Rose followed him out onto the porch.
"Good-bye Rose," he said, standing at the edge, "Like your mom said, you're better off without me." Then he took his car and left, not even looking back at them. Rose held Lily on the porch, watching the road for nearly an hour before finally giving up; she had better things to do than stare at the road, thinking about the Doctor and all the things that made this all so wrong. Lilly was getting fussy, probably hungry, and she had to look for her pink blanket that she wouldn't sleep without. She didn't cry once, she rarely even thought about him. Her Doctor crossed her mind often and she wished she could be back with him, but she knew that was impossible, she would never again know the freedom of flying through time and space, or feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins as she ran with the Doctor on an adventure far beyond the imagination of any ordinary human. She missed it all. Apparently alien threats weren't as…threatening here. She had tried working for Torchwood, but that paled in comparison to the old days. Now she would need to get a real job.
The job came in a factory, which was even worse than Henrick's. She never got to see Lily, it was always wake up, get ready, let the sitter in, work all day, come home, send Anna home, eat, fall asleep, wake up, and do it all again. Every day the same, she felt like she was watching life flash before her and there was nothing she could do to stop it or slow it down. Her friends at work always told her to try and get out, maybe meet someone new, but there never seemed enough time.
Before she knew it, Lily was five, playing piano and t-ball, and dancing ballet. She loved the little girl with all her heart, but she hated leaving her home all day, it felt like they barely knew each other and it ripped her apart.
At night, she laid awake, wishing someone was there to hold her and tell her how all this would end. If ever there was a need for a time machine it was now. Her dreams those nights were filled with the Doctor and new companions, replacements for her, and she thought she knew how Sarah Jane felt, or something worse.
Sitting in the parking lot of the super market with a flat tire wasn't something she ever had time for, especially not now. Anna was waiting, and Lily had ballet at six. She let out a frustrated scream and banged her head against the side of the car.
"Um…excuse me ma'am, but do you need some help?" a man asked to her left. The voice woke something within her, and she looked up at him, her eyes were filled with angry tears and her hair was probably a mess too. She merely stared at him, unable to believe her eyes. The man was tall with very short dark hair, bright blue eyes, and ears so disproportionate to the rest of his face it gave him an almost comical appearance.
"Please," she said breathlessly.
He fixed her tire almost as if he was a professional and then looked back at her, his blue eyes shining in the light, "I'm Dr. John Smith, by the way," he said.
"Oh, uh, Rose Tyler," Rose said, her head spinning. Dr. John Smith, that was so very Doctor, and yet she could tell this man wasn't the Doctor, just a Doctor.
"Rose Tyler, that's a beautiful name," he said thoughtfully; "So…uh, what do you say about getting some coffee?" he asked.
"I'd love to," she said, a genuine smile lighting up her face for the first time in nearly six years.
In the small café, they waited for their coffee to come and they made small talk, but it was the most interesting small talk Rose had ever participated in. Then he asked it, "Do you have kids?"
Rose was stunned for a minute, wondering if she should just lie, she didn't want to lose him again.
"She's five," she said, her mother's pride winning over her neediness.
"I saw the car seat, I love kids…does she have your eyes?" he asked and Rose nearly squealed with excitement.
They talked for hours, Rose calling Anna and making arrangements with a neighbor for Lily to stay over. She'd just have to miss ballet for a night.
She fell in love that night, the realization hitting her while she laid in bed looking up at the dark ceiling with silvery shadows playing over it. She thought about her first Doctor, how he'd taken her away from home and slowly stolen her heart. She'd loved him, but then he went and changed, and she fell in love with the new Doctor too, but it couldn't compare to her love of her first.
Rose Tyler and Dr. John Smith were married June 9, 2014, in a small church outside of London. Lily (having taken to John like a bee to honey) got to be flower girl. It was the happiest day of Rose's life, the day she became Mrs. John Smith. She quit her job at the factory, John making more than sufficient amounts of money to support a family.
She never heard for the Doctor and for that she was happy. It felt good to finally be rid of that weight she hadn't known she'd been carrying for so long.
A/N—Hope I got everything right, tell me if anything didn't make sense.