Authors Note;; I can't believe I'm writing angst, because I'm more into fluff- kinda.
"I'm sorry" It was barely a whisper, so quiet you didn't think that you would even hear it. Instead of saying anything you grab her small cold pale hand in your large warm tan one and brings it up to your lips kissing it softly keeping your eyes on the road. You don't understand why she's bringing it up just now since it's been a week. But you're glad she's not keeping it in anymore.
"It's my fault, it was my job to take care of him and I-" She stops when a cry escapes past her lips. You close your eyes tightly, just for one second before their opened again.
"Baby, it's fine." She just shakes her head and pulls her hand away. Pulling her legs up to her chest she lays her head on her knees and lets out a quiet scream with whispers in between that sounded like "I'm so sorry." And your heart breaks even more as you watch her from the corner of your eye's.
She's sitting on the couch, and everyone's over at your all's house telling them how sorry they are. And giving sympathy. Fuck sympathy.
One of your cousins, Alice, no maybe it's Amanda- whatever it doesn't matter, walks up to your wife slowly and sits down beside her.
"I'm so sorry Jade. But he's in a better place." You watch both of them before Cat's grabbing your arm and pulls you into the kitchen. Jade just bites the inside of her mouth and nods her head while she stands up and walks into the kitchen. Your sitting at the table with André, Robbie, Cat and Tori, their lips are moving but nothing comes out. She walks straight past you and goes to fix her a cup of coffee. Her hands are shaking and the coffee spills all over the counter and on the floor. Letting out a frustrated scream she drops the coffee pot onto the ground, glass and coffee going everywhere. It takes you awhile to notice what's going on.
Her mom runs in just when you're up on your feet but she beats you because she already has Jade in her arms whispering different things like; "Calm down" and "It'll be okay." And she's so tired of hearing the same shit over and over again you can tell she is, just by the way she moves and when it looks like her left cheek looks like it's being sucked in because her teeth are harshly biting it.
"Get out." Her mom looks at her shocked and pulls away. You walk up behind her as you wrap your arms around her waist keeping her from walking any further.
"Excuse me?"
"I said, Get. The. Fuck. Out" Her voice gets louder and louder and everyone's wondering what's going on because everything's happening to fast. You're behind her with arms wrapped around her tightly with your head resting on her shoulder.
"Jade." Your voice comes out as a murmur when she throws your arms off from around her and look's up at you.
"I want them out, every fucking one of them out! I'm so sick of hearing "He's in a better place Jade." NO! He shouldn't be their! He should be right here, with me and you in my arms. He should be here!" Her words sink into your head and you agree hands down. He should be here. Growing up here and succeeding in what he wants to do in life.
"Just get them the fuck out. Please" She begs, everyone's walking by so fast giving her hugs that aren't returned. She finally walks off luckily missing the glass that's shattered on the floor. You watch her go into the large living room before disappearing up the stairs.
Finally you walk with the rest to the front door, Tori gives you a small smile and places her hand on your shoulder.
"Maybe we can go somewhere tomorrow. All of us. Jade needs to get her mind off of things- and so do you Beck, I can see you're holding it in. Now go upstairs with your wife, we'll be over tomorrow." You nod softly and give her a hug waving at the rest as they walk out the door. She pulls away and walks out the door as well. You just stand their and watch until both cars are out of sight. Sighing he slams the door and slams his fist onto it. His eyes shut.
"I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Oliver." He pauses running a hand through his hair. Jade's eyes are wide and you're squeezing her hand just a little too hard. "Your baby didn't make it." His words are soft yet so sharp stabbing you in the heart. And at any moment it look's like the doctor could loose it. The words finally registered in and all you did was blink the doctor told both of you that if you needed anything to call for him. The door shuts and then a loud scream is heard from beside you. Tears are at the brim of your eyes as you sit on the bed and grab her. She places her face into your chest getting your shirt wet with her tears. But you don't cry, you have to be strong for her.
You don't hear her soft footsteps from your bedroom to the top stairs. She watches quietly before speaking up.
"Beck..." You're quiet. "Beck." Say something.
"Not now Jade."
"...Beck." Her voice is pleading.
"Damn it Jade, not now!" You snap, and you fucking regret it. She stops and stares down at you while you turn around and look up at her, she doesn't know why but she's been so fucking emotional that it doesn't even surprise her when she feels tears threatening to fall down her face that you want to wipe away.
"Fine. I'm so fucking sorry that I bothered you." She murmurs and turns around. You let a loud "Fuck" pass your lips before making your way up the stairs and into your bedroom. But no Jade. Walking out you walk down the hallway that has the letters
"A L E X" across the door.
"What should we name him?" You're voice was happy and loud as you laid down laying your hand over her small but growing baby bump. She shrugs but smiles lightly, and you can't help but smile because pregnancy has made her at least a little happier.
"Victor?"
"Ugh. Seriously Beck? No."
"Hmmm. Jordan?"
"Hmmm. No." She bites her bottom lip then looks over at him.
"How about Alexander?" You smile lightly and trace patterns across her stomach.
"Alexander?" He murmurs and smiles when he feels the baby kick. "I think he likes that name." She smiles brightly and runs a hand through your hair because she just can't wait till she can hold him. She want's to slap herself though because she's acting so different.
You go to open the door but it's locked.
"Jade. Baby, I'm sorry." Your voice is the one with the pleading tone now. You can her soft cries from her and you just want to fucking hold her. You wouldn't tell her everything's going to be okay because you're the other one in this relationship dealing with the same pain. One more time.
"Jade."
"Go away Beck." Her voice is quiet and soft. She sounds so weak and broken.
"Babe. Please open the door." You call out.
"Damn it Beck, not now." Her voice comes out as a tone where she mocked his voice from earlier. You smile just a little and rest your head on the wall.
"Alright, I deserve that. But you didn't deserve me yelling at you like that. I'm sorry okay." The lock click's and the door opens slightly and you can see her looking up at you with her big gray eye's. You don't say this out loud, but you swears you'll make everything better. At least you hope.
Authors Note;; This story is kind of based on things that has actually happened on in life from my family stuff. I was talking to my mommy about when this had happened to her, when she lost my brother- so that's my inspiration. Also The Black Crowes was another inspiration...