DOCTOR WHO: REMEMBER HER

"Why would you say that?" said an angry Rory to the Doctor after the pair had just talked. The Doctor was another stop-by visit at 'Chez Pond' as he called it but after a post-dinner chat, something the Doctor has said has upset Rory badly. After a long shift at work too, Rory he wasn't in the best of moods full stop but the Doctor had gone too far with what he had said. Rory was deeply angry. The Doctor looked on puzzled though as he couldn't work out why. "Why would you bring that up exactly? Don't you know how hurtful that is?" Rory then asked angrily before storming up the stairs to his and Amy's bedroom. The commotion has caught the attention of both Amy and Brian who were in nearby rooms and both rushed in to see what was up.
"Doctor, what have you said to him?" Amy asked warily. "What's wrong with my husband?"
"You've insulted him, haven't you?" Brian then accused. "He's my son, how dare you do that!" The Doctor was in the crossfire of a Pond and Williams talking and couldn't stop either Amy or Brian until he pulled out and blew a whistle from inside his tweed jacket. He knew it would come in handy some time.
"That's better…" he remarked as the pair fell silent. A smile widened on his face "I think Rory's just had a long day and taken something the wrong way. I didn't mean any harm I assure you."
"But what was it, what did you say?" Brian pondered. "He doesn't get tetchy like that without good cause."
"I just asked how his mum was doing…there's nothing wrong with that is there?" said the Doctor with an innocent smile. Brian's face went into a scowl in an instant and Amy just went pale.
"Oh god…" she muttered as she looked to the floor in disgust. Brian just nodded his head in disapproval before leaving to the garden in a huff.
"What is it? I can't have insulted Brian too, can I?" the Doctor wondered. Amy just couldn't believe it and looked at the Doctor sternly.
"Do you have selective memory or something?" she asked angrily as she moved closer to his old eyes. "Why do you think they've both reacted badly to that?" she then asked. The Doctor wondered for a moment but just shrugged. Amy's anger grew by the second.
"You really have no idea do you, raggedy man?" she then huffed as she began to walk back to the kitchen. The Doctor followed her as he still wasn't sure what was the matter.
"Have pleasantries on Earth changed since I last visited or something?" he asked loudly. "Am I not allowed to ask how people's mums are doing nowadays?" he then asked looking to the ceiling as Amy wasn't making eye contact with him. "Because if that's the case then this world has got a lot crazier in the meantime without me, and that's saying something!" Amy then turned round and just looked angrily at him once more. She couldn't believe the Doctor was being so naive and so unlike himself.
"You can't ask those kinds of questions if Rory's mum is dead, Doctor, can you?" she then huffed before getting on with the washing up. The Doctor was taken aback and just felt awful straight away.
"Oh god…" he muttered under his breath.
"I hope you're happy with yourself! I won't be able to get out the room for days now!" moaned Amy as she jaunted into the garden with a big bottle of wine at her side.
"Oh dear…" sighed the Doctor. "Why do I have to open my mouth sometimes….I really do wonder why…"

"He's an idiot, an utter idiot…" moaned Brian as he and Amy sat out on the garden looking out into the evening's sky. They were both leaving Rory alone to deal with the situation as they felt it was for the best but they still felt awful for doing it. "Does the Doctor even know about what happened to her?" Brian then asked. "He's not actually unaware of the situation is he?"
"No, he's not….I've told him a couple of times and Rory has made it pretty clear to him, so I just don't know…" replied Amy as she took a swig of wine and then looked back towards the kitchen. There from the window was the Doctor looking out sighing endlessly and clearly wondering why it hadn't occurred to him about Rory's mum. The Doctor knew he had done very wrong in asking but he didn't think Rory would react like he had. All was quiet upstairs but the Doctor wanted to apologise and slowly made his way up the stairs. As he reached Amy and Rory's bedroom door he saw Rory's scrubs on the floor outside the bedroom door and hoped he hadn't gone to sleep. Knocking on the door quietly, the Doctor hoped he'd hear a response.
"Hello?" he asked. "Rory? Are you awake?"
"Just go away…" came his friend's reply from the other side of the door. The Doctor didn't want to give up and tried again but the same thing happened. The door was locked and the Doctor didn't want to do his apology with a door in his way so he slowly reached for his sonic screwdriver.
"Rory, I've got the sonic so I can come in at any time if you don't open up. Just make sure you're decent when that happens." he said simply as he just stared at paintings on the landing. There were many photos too of Rory, Amy and Brian but none from what the Doctor could tell were of Rory's mum who he knew as Kathleen. She was a lovely woman even though he'd only met her once at Amy and Rory's wedding. She had wonderful glistening brown hair and a smile and laugh that was just infectious to all. The Doctor couldn't quite believe she wasn't alive anymore. His looking at photos and paintings was cut short though when Rory eventually opened the door. In his dressing gown he looked like he'd just woken up and the redness of his eyes added to the effect but it was clear he'd been crying.
"You can be a real idiot at times you know?" said Rory through the tears.
"I know I can. I'm the dictionary definition…look up the word and there's a picture of me beside it with this whole episode as its primary example." said the Doctor honestly. "Can I come through?" he asked as he made his way into the Ponds bedroom.

There was only a single lamp on in the room and it was clear Rory was trying his best to not make a scene of things. The Doctor was feeling awful though and quickly apologised to get it off his chest.
"How could you forget such a thing, Doctor?" Rory then asked. "How can you forget it?"
"It was just a momentary lapse I assure you and I meant nothing of it. Would I really want to intentionally offend you? Is that what you take me for?"
"No, but I told you three, maybe four times within a week of it happening Doctor and you just went 'yeah ok, I'm sorry'. This whole thing's just brought it all back to the forefront. I was coping well until this." Rory countered emotionally. "I told you as I was expecting a friend to go and comfort me in my hour of mourning but there you were as Mr Emotionless. That really helped….it's sarcasm if you can't tell…" The Doctor looked solemnly at Rory and just apologised once more. He really felt deeply sorry.
"I should have been more involved I admit it Rory but I was trying to take your mind off it. Amy messaged me to say come and pick the pair of you up. She didn't want you turning into this." he then added. "I tried not to get involved on purpose but that was obviously the wrong thing to do."
"Yeah…" said Rory. "It was….I couldn't live properly for the days following it. I didn't eat and I barely spoke. Dad was the same near enough and Amy was just as affected too."
"Rory, I am sorry but what else could I have done?"
"You could have come and helped…" Rory immediately replied.
"How? She was in a hospital….I may be a Doctor but I'm not a miracle worker."
"You really don't know the ordeal I went through, do you?" Rory then stammered. "I cared for her, we all did and it was here in this house, in this bedroom where it was done. I looked after her right until the end!" he then shouted. The Doctor stepped backwards and just took everything in.
"I didn't know, I'm sorry…" he apologised once more.
"Oh but you did!" Rory replied. "I told you everything about how the diagnosis came out the blue and then here I was looking after her as she was dying. She was improving at first and I thought my mum would live and fight on strong but she didn't. She deteriorated suddenly and I couldn't prevent it. I couldn't prevent her dying in my own care. What good does that make me?"
"Rory, with what she had, she wouldn't have survived anyway. That cancer had spread to all her vital organs and you knew it…" the Doctor replied coldly and without emotion. Moving closer to his friend, he put out a hand on his shoulder. "You did all you could…I'm sorry I couldn't have been here but you had to step up to the mark. Your mum needed you."
"But how could you forget about her dyings?" Rory then asked with tears still streaming down his face.
"Because I wanted you to remember…." came the reply. "You can't forget, you have to remember her…"

A few minutes later after Rory had cleared the latest set of tears, the Doctor tried once again to get through to him.
"It wasn't intentional but me doing that has to do some good for both you and Brian." the Doctor said simply. "Neither of you talk about her nor are there any photos of her anywhere Rory…"
"We try not to remember how it all ended." Rory said. "I'm surrounded by death of all ages daily at work but mum's was just too much for me to cope with. It was a real body blow. I near enough became a recluse because of it. I wouldn't even talk to Amy or let her comfort me. A part of me died that die when poor mum died."
"We all mourn in different ways and there's nothing wrong with that but you and Brian just can't ignore her like she never existed." the Doctor pointed out as he scanned a table in the room. There he saw a small photo and to his knowledge, the only one he could see with Rory's mum on it. "Hello Kathleen….it's nice to see you again." Rory just looked at the photo and held back another set of tears he could feel coming.
"It's the only photo I keep out as it's just a little one." Rory explained. "Any bigger and I'd be like this all day everyday" he added as he wiped away some more tears from his reddening eyes.
"Surely she's more important that just this isn't she?" the Doctor then asked. "I know Amy would be doing all she could to never forget Augustus and Tabetha ever again so why can't you?"
"The memories hurt Doctor…" Rory replied. "Knowing what happened to her eventually is what brings the pain out even more. Foreknowledge is ruining my cherished memories of her."
"Brian's in the exact same boat as you though. He lost his wife of numerous years and you lost your mother. The mother who helped you when you grazed your knee after falling off the swings, the mother who taught you how to play the piano, the mother who loved you dearly. She was important Rory."
"Yeah, she was…" he agreed as memories just came flooding back into his mind. There, he was seven again and there was his mum, Kathleen just baking and knitting away to her heart's content. She had flowing long brown hair and had lovely polka dots on her clothes; she was zany and lovely all at the same time. She was a wonderful wife and mother rolled into one. Loved by many and missed by so many more.
"Rory!" she called from his memories. "You don't want to miss out on the film, do you? Amelia's going, so it'll be great! Come on, get your shoes on. A big Williams day out, what's not to like?"
"Mum…" sighed Rory. "Oh, how I could forget you…" he added as more memories came flooding in.
"Just because Jimmy down the road has got a brand new bike doesn't mean you can too Rory. Tell him Brian." she said in the build-up to Rory's ninth birthday. Brian agreed but when he left the room, Kathleen just smiled and whispered: "Now then, don't go telling your dad but I'm going to try and get that bike for you. The only child deserves to be spoilt on their birthday. I can't not love you Rory." she then added with a wonderful wide grin as she hugged him lovingly.
"Mum…." said Rory once more as he kept on remembering. "I shouldn't forget you at all…"
"Keep remembering then…" said the Doctor as he handed Rory the small photo. Rory just looked at it longingly and smiled.
"Hello mum…" said Rory with a big grin as he looked at the photo of Kathleen, Brian and himself on holiday by the beach when he about 14. It was a great holiday and one he would always remember. "You wouldn't believe how much crying I've done for you just this evening but you were too good to let go. I don't normally cry either so it's been a big thing this." he then chuckled. The Doctor then stood to Rory's side and just smiled at the photo too.
"Yeah, you wouldn't believe how strong your son is…" he said. "He's fought off armies well and has cared endlessly for his Amy. You brought up a good son, Kathleen. It's just a shame I didn't get to know you better, but your son is one of the best people I've ever met" Rory just couldn't help but smile.
"We can go and visit her tomorrow if you like…" he said to the Doctor. "All four of us, I'm off work, we can all pay her a visit."
"That sounds like a good idea…" agreed the Doctor. "One that I think Kathleen would agree is right. So, I think I'll just let you get more dressed for the time being and I'll explain everything to Amy and Brian." he added as he made his way to the landing. Rory just kept looking at the photo and didn't see the Doctor come back to hug him. Hugging him tightly, the Doctor just kept repeating: "Stay strong Roman, remember her, always…" before kissing Rory on the cheek and then on his forehead.
"I'll stay strong, I promise…" muttered Rory. "I'll stay strong for mum…"
"That's more like the Rory I know….." smiled the Doctor. "Come on, get dressed and I'll get some pizza in!"
"But we just had dinner…" pointed out Rory.
"I know, I was on about pizza for dessert. Pepperoni goes lovely with honey!" he then grinned before heading downstairs. Rory just smiled and looked at the photo of his mum one more time.
"You're always with me mum, aren't you?" he asked out loud.
"Of course…" came a reply with the voice of Rory's mum from inside his head. "Rory Williams; a son to make any mother proud…"