"Captain," the hushed voice piped up from somewhere outside the room. Clearly, it was lacking any confidence. "May I come in?"
Pilot's head appeared in the bedroom doorway as he peered out at his leader from the hallway, waiting for an answer. Because there was no door, the green-goggled man could freely look into the room, but walking in without permission was out of the question.
Captain was lying on the large bed, fully dressed. It looked like he was watching the movie, but instead of a TV, he was staring at a broken aquarium with a single fish-bone in it. The whole picture made the minion doubt the importance of his own problem.
Lately, Captain's privacy had been constantly endangered. After the incident with the Stalky Stalker it became evident that the commanding officer's bedroom required more protection. Pilot had volunteered to watch over it, and he had done so every night since then. There was only one flaw with the arrangement.
Captain claimed to be uncomfortable having a person lurking behind his door – even if it was his most dutiful subordinate. Knowing this, Pilot tried not to bother his precious leader too much. Normally, he would be sitting next to the doorway half-sleeping. But not this time.
"Are you sure it can't wait until zee morning, mein minion?" Captain asked nonchalantly, not really paying attention to his uninvited guest. "Zee Captein is rather busy."
Hearing this, Pilot turned his head and gaped at the aquarium once more. The fish stayed the same – dead as dead could be. The child-like man had no idea what was so interesting about this inanimate object.
"But..." he hesitated for a moment. "In the morning it will be irrelevant. It's about dreams, Captain. And dreams happen at night, don't they?"
The man on the bed lifted himself up slightly, then reached for his mug. The aquarium no longer seemed that important.
"Of course zey happen at night!" he confirmed, sounding a bit annoyed. "It's because of zee Sandman! He pours his magical sand into everyone's eyes! Zee sand brings cute dreams. But poor Sandman himself is ugly, so he prefers not to leave his house 'till it's dark. Zat is why you can have your dreams only at night, silly minion."
With that, Captain finished his explanation. Smugly pleased with himself, he took a sip of tea through his pink straw.
"Now, come on in and tell your Captein what went wrong with your dreams."
The invitation made Pilot cheer up a little. He eagerly entered the room and placed himself at the bedside. Sitting crossed-legged on the floor, he gazed at his teacher in anticipation.
"Well?" Captain encouraged.
"Well... I fell asleep," he began in a tentative manner. "But only for a moment," he added as soon as he realized that sleeping was not something you were meant to engage in while on watch duty. "And I had a horrible dream. Mr Sandman must have been mistaken, 'cause I wasn't naughty and I deserved a better one."
After this small confession Pilot hung his head, as if he was shattered by the unfairness of life.
"Don't worry, mein faithful minion!" the man attempted to comfort his infantile follower, who had never been seen to act so gloomy before. This behavior was more typical of someone like Engie. And Pilot was nothing like Engie – sadness just didn't suit him. "I think we can do something about it."
"Really?" the other asked faintly. "But what, Captain? What shall we do?"
"We're going to submit a consumer complaint!" the commander announced, raising his voice. At the same time he made a threatening motion against an invisible adversary, almost spilling his tea on Pilot in the process. "Zere will be no more nightmares for good citizens! Such aberrations are unacceptable in zee law-abiding Nation of Captania!"
The speech prompted the man on the floor to break into enthusiastic applause.
Satisfied with this reaction, the self-proclaimed ruler of Captania nodded. "Yes, I know," he said softly, more to himself than to his one-man audience. "Zee Captein is awesome indeed. Zee World would be doomed without me."
He was about to continue to list his countless virtues, when he seemed to abruptly recall something. "Where is zee grain of sand that gave you zat bad dream, Pilot? It might be defective. We will use it as evidence in zee case against Sandman. Show it to me," he demanded, and held out his hand.
The minion looked at it for a moment, and then at his leader's masked face again. This action was repeated a couple of times.
"I don't have it," he responded finally. His anxiety became more than obvious as he began to fidget nervously.
"So, where is it?" Captain didn't sound angry, rather, curious. "What did you do with it?"
"Nothing, Captain, I swear! I didn't touch anything!" Pilot started to jabber frantically, beginning to lose composure. "All I did was wake up and come to see you. I don't know what happened to the grain of sand. I'm so sorry, Captain! I..."
"Zat's enough, mein minion!" the man in command interrupted him, and the desperate lunatic fell silent at once – rather like a dog trained to do tricks. "I've already figured out where it is."
This statement left Pilot astonished.
"If you didn't rub your eyes after waking up," Captain went on, self-confident as always, "Zat means, zee sand is still there. I'll get it out for you, and then we will send it back to zee Sandman."
"Oh, Captain!" Despite the gas mask covering his facial expression, it wasn't hard to tell that Pilot was beaming broadly. "You're amazing! Thank you! You're the greatest Captain in the Universe!"
He swiftly shifted from sitting to kneeling and clasped his hands together as though in prayer.
"We don't have time for zis, Pilot. You will thank your Captein later. First, I have a mission for you. Bring me an envelope, candles, and tweezers. We're going to need them for Operation Dreamcatcher."
The worshiper obediently rose to his feet and saluted. In no time at all he was on his way.
The leader heard the sound of hasty footsteps in the hallway. A second later there was a loud "thud", which could mean either jumping down the stairs or stumbling and falling. Captain sighed, resigned to his minion's antics.
Soon, the scatterbrained minion was back. When he walked in he found Captain sitting on the bed, and placed said objects next to him. Finding them had turned out to be quite easy, since the item collection in their current base had significantly improved of late. During the past few days, they had obtained supplies from the nearest stores: furnishings, stationery, confectionery, even ladies' clothes. Unfortunately, all of that stuff (and the hideout itself) would have to be abandoned in time.
"Mission accomplished!" Pilot reported, standing at attention.
"Good job, mein minion," the commanding officer praised, then picked up the candle and lit it with his lighter. His purple lenses glowed mysteriously as the pitch black bedroom was illuminated. "Now, come here," he ordered, and the underling moved closer. "Remove your goggles and let us begin."
After telling the other what to do, Captain placed the candle on a nightstand and took up the tweezers. The tiny tool in his hand had an ominous, metallic shine, but Pilot continued undoing his headgear without hesitation. When he finished, he blinked for a moment, awaiting further instructions. His eyes were as green as lenses of his goggles, and nothing but trust could be seen in them.
"Sit down." The owner of the bed pointed at the same spot where the whole equipment for the operation had lain just a minute ago.
The green-eyed minion seemed intimidated, but he carried out the order as he always did. He carefully took a seat next to his commander, probably asking himself if he was worthy enough to touch the bed at all.
"Relax, mein minion. Zere's nothing to be afraid of," Captain assured him, noticing his tension. "Now, lie down."
Pilot stared at him in surprise, not able to say a word.
"Hurry up, we don't have all night!"
Growing tired of this unnecessary bashfulness, the egocentric leader simply pushed his subordinate down onto the bed. An ash cloud flew into the air as Pilot's back met the mattress.
"Look at the ceiling and hold still. And no blinking!" Captain demanded, leaning forward. "I'm going to inspect your eyes to locate zee magic sand."
With his index finger, he pulled man's lower eyelid down. This action was far from surgically precise. It was far from even being gentle, mostly because of the leather gloves that effectively reduced the manual skills of their wearer.
The helpless minion held his breath. He fought the urge to turn his head away, or grab his commander's wrist. On top of that, he also had to do his best not to glance at his beloved savior again and again.
"You mustn't move, but you're allowed to breath," Captain commented, sounding quite amused. He checked the other eye, and then he called gleefully, "Oh, zere you are, mein little friend! No more hiding from zee Captein! I can see you!"
He moved even closer with tweezers poised, ready to use them any time. "Be prepared, Pilot. I'm going to count to three," the patient was cautioned, and the countdown began.
"One. Two."
"Ahhhhhh!" the poor minion wailed, as he felt the flat tip of the tweezers in his eye.
"And three," the wannabe surgeon concluded.
Both of Pilot's eyes were shut tight. A single tear was trickling lazily down his face.
Captain bent over him once more, and let the tear-drop fall onto his finger. He managed to catch it right before it could drip onto the bed. After that, he reached for an envelope and dropped the tear inside.
"Full success, mein dear minion!" he announced with great satisfaction, but his dear minion hardly cared about the result, since he was busy rubbing his burning eye and generally being miserable.
Captain noticed his glum demeanor and added, "Don't be such a wimp! Zat was for your own good. Zat tear flushed zee grain of sand out of your eye, and now we can send it back to zee Sandman. You better be grateful to your glorious Captein!"
In response, Pilot rolled over on the bed and lovingly wrapped his arms around his commander's waist. He presses his head against Captain's belly and uttered some words of appreciation, which could be barely heard. After a while, he pulled away to glance at his most admired person in the whole, dead world.
"Zat will do," his commanding officer told him.
As he did so, an unspeakable joy brightened up the green eyes that watched him intently.
"Tomorrow, we will send our letter of complaint. I am sure it will be most carefully considered," Captain informed him. "By zee way, zat nightmare you had – what was it about?"
Pilot took a deep breath, which seemed to suggest that he didn't wish to remember.
"In the dream... in the dream, you said to me that I was discharged from your delicious army. You told me to leave, and you turned away. And when I chased after you, you disappeared." He paused, struggling with the unpleasant emotions recalled to his erratic mind.
"It was terrible," he summed up, distressed.
Captain scoffed. "It was zee most ridiculous nightmare I've ever heard of!"
"But..." the other mumbled, utterly confused by now. "Why would you say that, Captain? The dream wasn't funny at all."
The leader snorted. "Do you even need to ask? Isn't it obvious, zat zee service in mein sexy army is a lifelong job? You are such a boob!"
The last sentence didn't make Pilot feel bad. Strangely enough, he was in a state of bliss.
"Does this mean, I'll be serving you FOREVER?"
"It means," Captain corrected, "zat you will be serving me 'till you die. And maybe after zat too. We shall see."
It only took a second for the impulsive minion to hug his kind-heated savior again.
"I love you, Captain," he murmured tenderly.
The commanding officer gently patted his head.
"I know you do," he nodded, content. "What kind of minion doesn't love zee Captain?"