Hi everyone! So, I've been talking with this writer on PM and he asked for a story request. The writer, Barbacar, requested a story about Pyronica. So after talking with him, we came up with a good synopsis. I did change up the synopsis a bit, though. This is going to be set WAY before the series. But familiar characters we saw during the Weirdmageddon archive will be present, such as Keyhole, Hectorgon and Pyronica herself.

Enjoy the one-shot everyone. Especially Barbacar.

-Williebadger618

Keep Your Mouth Shut

Pyronica's POV:

Well, isn't this just perfect? The night of my one year anniversary, my boyfriend, Cryptos, dumps me for someone who is more devious. You're kidding me, right? I'm the most devious person anyone in Dimension 1120/ has ever known. I come up with great mischief ideas with my pals, Keyhole and Hectorgon and cause chaos throughout the whole dimension. Our biggest plans are still in the works and I know for a fact they will be successful. Earlier today I was working on the horror behind the process and thinking of more ideas to spread trouble throughout different dimensions. But how can I come up with ideas when my twenty hearts have crumbled up in my pink flames have turned them into ash?

Sitting alone at Soulburry Sack Bar I light up my cigar with my flaming arms. My bud of the cigar shows the darkest shade of purple it could come to. The puffs of smoke escape my mouth as it displayed messages of my feelings and thoughts. I looked up and it said "Your Mood: Shitty". I knew it was right. Usually once I see the message, I wave the smoke away. But thanks to Cryptos, I'm too miserable to do anything productive. Yet I'm surprised I had the strength to light my cigar.

"Why you in a shitty mood?" says Amorphous Shape, the bar tender, as he cleans a cup from the sink. Rolling my eyes, I puff out another ball of smoke and release it into the air. It displays a message to Amorphous Shape stating: 'How about you and your five eyeballs get out of my business or else you'll become my main course for dinner.' He then only rolled his eyes and floated away from where I was sitting, not uttering one word.

Time went by and I was still feeling depressed. Nothing seemed to cheer me up. It just bugged me to know that there is someone else in this dimension who thinks they are the most devious demon. It's a bullshit lie, I'll tell you that. Did Cryptos' new girlfriend ever swallow over five-thousand monsters in five minutes because she was dared to? Did she ever carve her face into all the 117 blood moons we have in Dimension 1120/ because she felt like it? Did she ever cause chaos throughout the town with her two best buds who get her sense of style? No, no and...what's the other word? Oh yeah! NO! I'm the most devious person who ever waltz these streets. Not her. I can tell her where she can get off when she acts full of herself.

A short time later, my buds, Keyhole and Hectorgon, showed up to Soulburry Sack Bar. I told them the news about me and Cryptos and how he says his girlfriend is better than me. Both of them had my back the entire time I was glum; they even tried to get my mind off of the breakup. They suggested to talk about the big plans, or playing "Spin That Demon", but nothing would help. I appreciated their support, but I don't think that plotting and games could cure twenty broken hearts. Maybe a human with a single heart-heh, loser-but not me.

"Pyronica, there has to be something we can all do to get your mind off of Cryptos. I'm running out of ideas here." Keyhole stated as he rubbed his hands on his keyhole shaped head. "My thoughts are falling out of my keyhole."

"Guys, I appreciate all of the support, but I don't think anything can cure my hearts. I really thought Cryptos was the one for me." I say honestly. And I really did. Things between us were going great. I thought nothing could come between us...looks like I was blindsided.

"He's just a jerk, Py. You need to get over him. Besides, it's not like your next future boyfriend is going to come walking through that door." Hectorgon says as he gestures his arm towards the bar doors. I sigh aloud, thinking that I will never get another guy.

But I think my thoughts tried to misdirect me.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

From the pool table to the bar, everyone, including myself, turns to the direction of the bar doors and looks to see none other than Bill Cipher bursting though. Everyone, besides me and my, friends acknowledge his presents. For some reason, he seemed extremely ecstatic today, but I could care less. Ever since Bill came to this town I've had nothing to do with him. He always seems like he's full of himself and his crap don't stink. Well, news flash, Dorito: you're just a demon like everyone else! Can't you stink up some other bar?!

Thinking back to Hectorgon's previous statement, I send him the stink eye. He questions my look and then I open my mouth, wrap my tongue around him and swallow him down with one gulp. Keyhole laughs hysterically as Hectorgon demands to be released.

"What was that for?!" Hectorgon questions.

"You said 'It's not like your next future boyfriend is going to come walking though that door' and look what happens?! Bill Cipher comes barging in, right on cue." I say allowed, not noticing everyone, including Bill, are watching the scene unfold before their eyes.

"How was I suppose to know he was coming?! I'm innocent!"

"Oh, put a sock in it, geography shape, or I will fully digest you." After letting out my annoyance, I look up and everyone is staring at me, even Bill, who has a puzzled look on his face.

"What are you looking at, jerk?!" I yell at Bill.

"First off, I'm not a jerk. I prefer more of an intellectual badass. And second, just watching one of the best comedy shows I've seen." Well, that caught me by surprise. Did Bill Cipher, THE Bill Cipher, just complement me?

"Are you saying, I was...funny?" I reluctantly reply.

"Hell yeah I am. I haven't seen a scene like that since last Tuesday. You should do stand up comedy." He says. Clearly, Bill has never really known what I'm capable of. I'm not meant to be funny. I'm the devious person whoever walked in this dimension. Clearly, he needs to freshen up with his history on current demons. I think a class covers it down the road; he should really enroll in it.

"Thanks, but I'm not meant to be funny." I reply. I then turn back around and light a new cigar. But before I completely dismiss him and his dorito shaped figure, I tell him something that he needs to be aware of. "Oh, and if anyone is the intellectual badass around here, it's me. Not you."

"Whoa, little miss know-it-all here thinks she's better than me. HAHA! It's cute that you actually think that." Bill says. My body flames flair up in anger while my cigar is pressed against my lips and the bud itself is glowing a bright red color. I slam my fist on the top of the bar and turn to face him. He's pushing my buttons way too far tonight and is asking for a fight I know he's willing to take.

"You wanna get swallowed too just like Hectorgon? There's plenty of room."

"HAHAHA! Is that suppose to scare me? I know you may act tough, but down here at Soulburry Sack Bar, I'm the tough guy. And I don't act tough...I'm just that good at it." He declares. All of the demons at the bar laugh with him. This is getting unnerving and irritating. I've had it with Bill Cipher right now and I just wish he'd cease to exist.

"You seriously want to pick a fight now, Isosceles Freak?" I inquire angrily.

"Nah. You'd lose in a split second. Besides, I'm the best freak there is in Dimension 1120/. You, well, you should just stick to your acting career." He replies as he begins to float towards the back of the bar to a table. Angrier then ever, I spit out Hectorgon and follow him towards to the back. Hectorgon and Keyhole attempt to stop me, but I am too flustered to even attempt to do so.

"Hey, Cipher!" I say as he turns around and looks at me.

"Boy, you really don't know when to quit do you? I would like to continue this cat fight with you, but I have more important matters to address. And frankly, I don't need you to keep yapping at me in the background." And with a snap of his fingers, a zipper has shut my lips. I couldn't talk at all! OOOOH BOY WAS HE PLAYING HARD BALL! "Ah, there we go. Peace and quiet."

Flustered, I turn around and head back to my original spot at the bar where Keyhole and Hectorgon were waiting for me. Keyhole undid the zipper as I relight my cigar from earlier and puff out smoke angrily.

"Who does Bill think he is? Do you think he has the audacity to just say what he wants to me?!" I say to my friends, yet Bill answers for them.

"YES"

"Wasn't talking to you, you one-eyed demon."

"Yet you, flaming witch of the far east, shouldn't be talking at all." As soon as he re-snaps his fingers, the zipper returns, now with a lock. Bill had the key! UNBELIEVABLE! I grunted in anger and then fled the bar, with Keyhole and Hectorgon frantically following me. It wasn't because I was embarrassed; it was because I had to get this stupid lock off my mouth so I could keep throwing insults to Bill until I won. No one beats Pyronica PinkFlame. NO ONE!

-=0=-

Hectorgon and Keyhole had left to go home and I was sitting outside of the bar, trying to get this lock off my face. I tried everything; knocking it off with rocks, using my arm flames to melt the metal, even using Keyholes big ring of keys. Can you believe none of them worked?! I gave up about a hour later, knowing I would never get this off until Bill came out of the bar. I can't believe he outsmarted me with smack talk. I'm one of the best smack talkers there is in this dimension. Wait, scratch that; I AM the best smack talker in this dimension. I always want to be the best; the best at everything. Perfect. But I guess perfect doesn't fall around this part of the dimension anymore.

Cryptos told me I was perfect when we were dating. He said I looked perfect everyday when I was with him. He said my smack talk was perfect. He said my jokes were perfect. Everything he said about me ended with perfect.

But...maybe I'm not.

Everyone saw me tonight throwing insults at Bill. Everyone knew that I had the guts to smack talk to one of the most intimidating demons there is. I just didn't know that he could beat me at my own game. To be honest, thinking back to my insults...they were weak.

"Oh, and if anyone is the intellectual badass around here, it's me. Not you."

"You want to get swallowed too just like Hectorgon? There's plenty of room."

"You seriously want to pick a fight now, Isosceles Freak?"

Wow. They were weak. Except for that intellectual badass one; that one was pretty good if I do say so myself. Anyways, what is becoming of me? I know I am way better than that.

Where was all of my great smack talk?

Why is all my confidence fading?

Who is Pyronica PinkFlame?

Once time passed, Bill came outside and said goodnight to his buddies. Looks like all of his "important matters" were put to rest. It didn't even seem to be on the top of his mind. It looked like he was in his own little world. That is, until he saw me. He saw I was depressed, yet tried to make a good insult. I didn't even bother to look up at him until he questioned what's wrong. I didn't want to fall for anymore of his tricks. I was done with him and I was done with myself. I don't even know who I am anymore. Everything that Cryptos said to me was a lie anyways. Why should I tell and listen to Bill Cipher?!

"Hmmmhmhmhm? Hmmhmhmhmh." I mumbled. What I was trying to say was "Why should I talk to you?! I feel like shit." He gives me a puzzled look, trying to decipher the mumbles. What? I couldn't speak any words, dorito, remember? YOU PUT A ZIPPER WITH A LOCK ON MY MOUTH!

"Here, let me remove that." He says and with a snap of the fingers, my mouth came back; just as it was like before.

"Thanks." I reply half-heartedly and not looking at him in the eye.

"Hey, what's the matter?" He asks me. I roll my eyes in response while trying to find a new cigar. I haven't had one in hours and I was desperately craving for one and to blow smoke up his ass.

"Pft, like you care."

"No. I'm serious. What's bugging you? You're never depressed." I already said how I was feeling to Keyhole and Hectorgon; my two best friends I could ever have. Tell Bill Cipher my troubles? Is it even worth it? Letting my feelings get the better of me, I sigh aloud before I begin to speak.

"In all seriousness, how was my smack tonight?"

"Your smack talk? WEAK! I've never heard any weaker-

"I knew it." I cut him off as I burry my face into my hands.

"A lot of people have had off days where there smack talk was weak. Nothing to be upset about." Bill says in all honesty. And the weirdest part was...I knew he was right.

"That's not the point." I say, close to tears.

"Then what is it then?"

"I'm not perfect."

Astounded, Bill puts a hand on my shoulder before replying. "No one is perfect, Pyronica. I'm not perfect either. Why does it matter if your perfect?"

"That's what my ex-boyfriend said I was. He said I had perfect smack talk, jokes; I even took the roll of perfect because I believed him. But when he broke up with me and I did smack talk with you tonight, I realized I am becoming less and less perfect by the minute. What's wrong with me?!" I yell as I burry my face into my hands, yet again. Bill hesitates for a moment, trying to come up with the right set of words to say, hoping not to make the situation worse. Either that, or he was choosing his words wisely and acting pity for me to feel better.

"Nothing is wrong with you. Whoever your ex-boyfriend was, he can take a hike. He doesn't realize what a bright and independent demon you really are. Who cares if you're not perfect? No one is this dimension, or any dimension out there is perfect. You shouldn't let these things get into your head. Don't worry about what other people think of you; it's what you think about yourself is most important." Whoa. Did Bill Cipher just give me wisdom?! Am I in an alternate dimension?

"Do you really mean this or are you just trying to pull a fast one?" I say skeptically.

"Definitely not. I may be a demon who may act full of himself, but I am just like the rest. Which is why I don't care what other people think of me and its why my smack talk was off the charts tonight." He says amusingly.

"Eh, they were alright." I say playfully.

"Nah. It was definitely ten out of ten."

"Whatever you say." We both laugh together, then making full eye contact with one another. Bill was right; I shouldn't care about being perfect. I should only care about what I think about myself and not let this "being perfect all the time" biz get to my head. "Anyway, thanks, Bill. You're not that bad after all. "

"No problem. I'm always here to talk, 'Cryonica'. He says jokingly.

"HEY!"

"What, I've been wanting to say that for a long time." He laughs and then gets up. Before he fully goes though, he turns back around and looks at me. "We should hang out some time." And then floats home. Did Bill Cipher try to ask me out? THE Bill Cipher who was a total jerk tonight and made me feel like crap? THE Bill Cipher who helped me feel better in front of the bar?

I'M GONNA GO WITH YES!

~The Next Day~

Chilling at home with my cigar hanging from my lip, my head flies with the clouds as the puffs of smoke release a misty pink color. I couldn't tell what my mood was, but I know for a fact that the only thing on my mind, was Bill. I don't know if I'm just overreacting and letting my feelings and thoughts get the better of me, but I didn't know how to handle this sensation.

I was so lost in thought, I didn't even notice Hectorgon and Keyhole arrive. I heard them say something about the big plan of horror we were arranging, but I didn't really listen to them. I just kept on thinking about last night and how Bill tried to ask me out. I was thinking about him a lot, realizing the feminine side of him. He's sweet, charming, always looking for a way to be in charge just how I feel. Maybe Hectorgon was right; he could possibly be the future boyfriend who walked through the bar doors.

I was not going to tell anyone about my secret; not even Keyhole and Hectorgon. I know they are my best buds, but I can't really trust them with this type of secret. They're blabbermouths and I know that they will spill it to someone who will then tell Bill. I couldn't take that chance, not even for a minute. This was between me, myself and I. They will never find out.

Or so I thought.

My cigar was ripped from my mouth which then yanked me back down to reality. Seeing Hectorgon and Keyhole there, scared the living crap out of me. How long were they standing there? Was I talking to myself? If I were, did they hear what I was saying? If they did, I'm doomed.

"Pyronica, we need to talk about our big plans." Keyhole stated

"I know, I know. Sorry. Guess I was just lost in thought for a while."

"Hold up a second." Hectorgon said as he studied the smoke coming out of my mouth. Uh, oh. Misty pink smoke. Not a good sign. "Your smoke is a different color. Pink, I should say."

"Yeah. And the bud on your cigar is pink too." Keyhole says as he examines my cigar bud. My hearts start racing. They are way too smart; I can never hide anything from them. "What's going on here."

"Nothing. Everything is fine." I say, but I quickly forget I still have smoke in my mouth. My feeling message pops up, indicating my mood. It reads: "Your Mood: In Love". My heart sinks...well, all twenty of them I should say.

"In love?" Keyhole states shockingly.

"With who? Is it Bill?" Hectorgon asks

Quickly, I try to back myself up, saying I hate him and that I don't want anything to do with him. But then, I go into the talk he and I had last night and his words of wisdom and then state what he said before he left completely. I completely messed up and let my emotions get the better of me. Oh, why did I have to keep talking?! WHY! WHY! WHY?!

"Guys, keep your mouths shut. You can't tell anyone. You have to respect that and understand!" I plead on my hands and knees. Hectorgon and Keyhole look at each other, exchanging glances, before turning their heads back at me.

"Don't worry, Pyronica. We understand." Hectorgon says to me calmly. Huh. Maybe this time they will actually respect my wishes and not tell anyone and be the blabbermouths they are. Maybe they actually matured and understand that this is nothing to tell anyone about; not even Bill.

Maybe my thoughts are completely wrong all the time.

"BIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLL!" Keyhole screams as he and Hectorgon flee out of my home and head down to Soulburry Sack Bar. I quickly chase after them, trying to stop them from telling Bill my secret.

"KEYHOLE! HECTORGON! PLEASE DON'T TELL!" I plead while I chase them down the road.

"BUT YOUR SMOKE SAID YOUR IN LOVE WITH BILL! HE NEEDS TO KNOW ABOUT THIS! THIS IS BLABBER MATERIAL!" Keyhole yells back.

"NO IT'S NOT!" I scream. They were surprisingly faster than me and I was starting to get cramps on my sides. I couldn't stop though. The slower I go, the faster they get to the bar. I then remember that I can swallow people. If I can wrap my tongue around Hectorgon and Keyhole before they get to the bar, then my secret will be saved! He will never know! I can't let Bill find out!

The whole time I'm chasing after them, I extend my tongue out, but I couldn't reach them. They were so far ahead of me; it was impossible to catch up to them. I thought my life would end when we got to the bar, and let me just say...it almost did.

Keyhole and Hectorgon made it in at the same time and searched for Bill. They spotted him at the same table he was at the night before. They approach him and are about to tell him my secret. As fast as lightning, I barge in and stick out my tongue and swallow Hectorgon. Bill watches, astounded and unable to speak words.

"Bill, quick, before she swallows me, I wanted to say that Pyronica has-" Keyhole was trying to say, but I got him. I got them both. Both in my stomach. My secret was safe and Bill would never know.

"What just happened? What was Keyhole trying to say? What do you have, Pyronica?" Horrified, I think about a quick lie to say. I'm hoping that this would be the only time I would have to lie to the guy I have a huge crush on. The guy who I judged without getting to know him well. The guy who made me feel better last night outside of the bar. I just hoped that he fell for the lie.

"What they were trying to say was...I have...a huge idea on how to take over the next dimension. Maybe one day...you and I could sit down and discuss my idea? I say as I gasp for air. Bill studies my actions, trying to see if I'm serious. I just kept mentally crossing my fingers, hoping that Bill falls for this lie. I don't want to tell him my true feelings. If I do, who knows what could happen.

"Sure we can. I'd love to here it. How about tomorrow night, here at the bar? Say around 8:00p?

"Yeah. That works perfectly." I say, relieved that he bought my lie.

"Awesome. See you then." He says and then goes back to doing his own business. I then vacate the premises, as sheer relief floods through my body. My secret was safe and he will never know. Maybe one day in the future he will find out, but hopefully he will have similar feelings for me as well. Just let the universe decide for me now. Bill really is a sweet guy.

"You are never going to tell Bill your secret, are you, Pyronica?" Hectorgon says.

"Oh be quiet, unless you want me to fully digest you both."

A/N: DONE! This took a lot of time, effort and a solid idea but I finally did it. I'm really happy with it. I hope you guys liked it, including Barbacar. I hope this one-shot was worth a wait. Anyways, I will not be updating again until mid August. I have to do some personal things but I will hopefully publish two or three more one-shots before the summer's end. Can't believe summer is flying by so fast.

Who got Journal 3? I'm still waiting for mine :( I already know Dipper's real name but I am not spoiling it for anyone who does not know it yet. Mine comes on Sunday and I'm hoping I will be able to receive it before I leave on vacation.

That do be it for me! See you guys later!

-Williebadger618

Twitter: WB618