Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers! Hasbro does!

Warning: Human/Holo forms afoot!! D:

Okay, the human-ized descriptions are based off of G1 Transformers appearences (except for one), but really, you can place them in any generation you want.


Megatron sat at his desk, the tempo of his impatiently drumming fingers increasing.

Where the slag could he be? For quite some time this question icily echoed in the mind of the Decepticon leader. For at least six hours, his second in command had been no where to be found. At this moment, seekers Thundercracker and Skywarp were sent, by Megatron to search for him. What made it worse was the fact that Starscream wasn't on a mission of any sort, there was no telling where the air commander might have been.

What the FRAG is taking those two so long? How hard could it be to find one slagging fool!?! At that moment a sturdy tap rapped at his office's door.

"Enter!" he ordered, and behind the door emerged Soundwave.

His pale complexion hidden behind reflective, red sunshades with fine dark bluish-black locks delicately draping over his face, and a white operator's mask covering the lower half of his face, nearly glowed in the faint, dim lighting of Megatron's office. His black, and abnormally violent, cat, Ravage, trailed close behind, along with two small teens that almost mirrored the communication officer's appearance, with the exception of spiked violet-black and silver-blue hair, as well as various body piercings (mostly on the two's faces, ears, and—Megatron believed that there was—one on their tongues). The operator's masks were omitted entirely from the two teens'—Rumble's and Frenzy's—appearances.

"What is it?" Megatron asked curtly, he wasn't in any sort of mood to talk with any of his comrades, unless it involved good news.

"My liege, Thundercracker has retrieved the missing second in command." Soundwave replied in his stone-hearted monotone intonation.

Finally! Megatron thought to himself, annoyed to no end.

"Where is he now?" The Decepticon commander asked, rising from his seat in front of his stainless steel tainted desk.

"His current location resides downstairs, in the lounge." Soundwave reported his adopted teen children snickering wickedly, as he spoke.

"Dismissed." Megatron waved away his communications officer, as he passed him through the doorway to his office. From there, Megatron proceeded down the flight of stairs, past the vast, darkened dining area to his right, and veered leftward pushing open the swinging door to the Decepticon lounge. There he found his second in command lying on his stomach, sprawled out on the bleached, carpeted floor, and rubbing his hands against said carpet in a circular motion, mumbling something that sounded like, "Fuzzzzzzzyy…"

"STARSCREAM!!!!" the leader barked; the other rolled over on his back and slumped his body forward. In a desperately pitiful attempt at regaining standing posture, Starscream clung to the seat cushion of the slate grey couch beside him, but failed at properly hoisting himself upwards, and, instead, ended up with his face buried in the carpet once again. When Megatron had finally gotten impatient with Starscream's slow unsuccessful attempts at hoisting himself upward, he aggressively grabbed the back collar of the seeker's wife beater tank top, and hurled him onto the couch that he'd previously clung to, so that he could almost—at least—sit properly. The seeker lazily rolled his head to the side so that he could "properly" speak with his leader.

"W'll HAI thar Meg..Meg…a…Megsy!" Starscream's speech was so slurred it was almost incomprehensible. This factor was what stopped Megatron from bombarding the seeker with questions like "Where the frag were you?" or "What the SLAG have you been doing for the past six hours?" Instead, he pulled Starscream up by his elbow and hissed, not bothering to hide the acidic venom in his tone,

"Starscream…" then roared, "Are you drunk!?!"

"Sssshhhhh!" Starscream hissed, waving his index finger in the air, and then clumsily pushed it against his leader's lips. "Naw'so loud!"(1) the seeker continued, as he slumped himself against his leader's body. Soon following said action, the potent, pungent malodor of tobacco smoke and badly fermented beer assaulted Megatron's senses. Restraining his own gag reflex, Megatron coughed out,

"Starscream, have you been drinking excessively?" Stumbling in a way that decreased the empty space between their faces, Starscream replied with,

"Me? Naw! S'kay 'mnot 's th'nk 's yoo drunk Ieeyaam."(7) His breath reeked of vodka, beer, margarita, and who knew what else.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"Hey M'g'tron."

"Yes Starscream." Megatron grumbled, irritated beyond belief, as he carried his drunken second in command to his bedroom.

"How dya knowhen yerrin luvv?"(2)

"I don't know Starscream. How do you know?" the leader replied flatly.

"AI dunno."(3) The drunken seeker snickered stupidly.

"Hey M'g'tron."

"What is it, Starscream!" the Decepticon commander groaned.

"Who'dya car'bout most?"(4) Megatron rolled his eyes at the dim-witted question, and voiced the first Decepticon name that came to mind. (After all, he was drunk, so it didn't really matter what his answer was, right?)

"Shockwave," Megatron said while passing an ambitiously working, and now slightly creeped out Shockwave, but when the highflyer saw the drunken seeker that his leader was answering to, he proceeded working as he had been beforehand.

"Arrya 'n luv wi'anywun?(5) The drunkard slurred.

"No, Starscream." His leader retorted, not bothering to hide the impatience in his aggravated tone.

"I'yam."(6) A short, silent pause emanated.

"Really," the 'con leader replied, this time actually intrigued. Starscream didn't seem to be the type who'd go head over heels for anybody—but then again, Starscream didn't normally drink himself stupid, either—so the sudden confession from the drunkard caught the leader off guard. Curiosity getting the best of him, Megatron asked,

"And who would that be?" not sure whether to be prepared for a heart-felt confession (or at least in a drunken sense) or a joke.

"BAW!" Starscream stumbled into his leader…again. Slinging his arms around his leader's muscularly built waist, Starscream replied to his question with,

"GAWSH, Iluv yoo!" At this, Megatron didn't know whether he should be flattered by his second in command's idolatry, remain indifferent about the whole scenario due to Starscream's drunken state, or whether he should be worried about the fact that his second in command was in love with him.

Ah, there was the door. It was cracked open, so Megatron merely needed to tap at the door with his foot to send it gliding forward. Megatron readjusted his hold on Starscream's currently floppy form before plunging into the darkness of the seeker's bedroom.

His arms still wrapped around his leader's waist, Starscream tenderly nuzzled his leader's chest. Before setting the drunkard down on his bed, Megatron looked down upon the seeker. Crimson eyes were hidden from sight behind ivory, rose petal skinned eyelids, his hair strewn in a disarray of Charcoal-black feathery locks, and a dreamy smile played upon his soft, pale lips. His drunken state softly painted soft, rosy pink blush upon his cheeks. Copious quantities of heat rushed to his cheeks when Megatron realized how…cute Starscream looked, at that moment.

As Megatron closed Starscream's bedroom door upon exiting, he heard traces of monstrous snoring.


I tried to do something humorous, but kinda sweet...ish at the same time....mostly humorous, though. ;) Yeah! I had way too much fun typing up Starscream's slurred speech! LOL XDDD

Drunken Translations Here:

(1) "Not so loud!"

(2) "How do you know when you're in love?"

(3) "I dunno."

(4) "Who do you care about most?"

(5) "Are you in love with anyone?"

(6) "I am."

(7) "Me? No! It's okay, I'm not as think as you drunk I am."

Again, I might make another chapter for this, but I dunno, yet. Let me know if any one of you guys is interested! :3