He'd tried to ignore it, ached to remain comfortably in denial, rejecting any possible thoughts that it was over...until now, he simply cannot do it anymore...it's too hard. Now, being the absolute scoundrel that he is...well, was (Emma Swan had seen his lecherous side retreating back into the shadows, his wandering eyes remaining only with her for where else would he look, nowhere but her for there was no one but her for him.) he had always prided himself on being able to read women, to catch the little signs and signals and use them to his advantage which is why it frustrated him all the more. He couldn't read Emma Swan for she was the best sort of enigma, always more than what meets the eyes with her, a challenge to the end and he loved her for it...yet, it seemed, she sought the love of another.
It had blindsided him, completely thrown him off when he'd noticed it, looked a little longer and found there to be more than poorly hidden disdain in their eyes. Both of their eyes. He'd thought himself to be delusional, had almost considered giving up his enchanted flask of rum, almost, thinking that maybe the drink was no longer his friend, that his sainted liquid was playing tricks on him, doing strange things to his mind for surely, even the thought of them together was...well, it was simply ridiculous.
But then she'd come back to him one night, her eyes brighter than they had been the past few days, the emerald green all the more vibrant as she fought to keep her lips from rising up with the smile practically ripping it's way through her skin. He'd asked for news of her day, watched as she spoke of her activities after he had left her side, listened intently as she spoke of her conversation with the Queen, heart plummeting as her expression warmed even more in speaking of their new friendship, her laugh the lightest he had heard it as she reiterated Regina's statement of not wanting to kill her.
"That's something, huh?" she had beamed and he wondered, for a few moments as she continued speaking, if she actually realised that she had feelings for Regina...perhaps she was as clueless to it as he had been.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she had asked, her voice lowering as did her brows, furrowing as her eyes narrowed in suspicious confusion, "do I have something on my face?"
And he'd almost said something, almost broached the subject but...it hadn't been the time, not with everything that had been going on, with the looming threat of the Snow Queen's existence in her lost past...not the time.
It hadn't been too long after her visit that she began to pull away, that he'd begun to see less and less of her whilst a certain reinstated Mayor seemed to be seeing more.
"Regina was over visiting with Henry," Mary Margaret had replied when he'd asked of Emma's whereabouts, "Emma said she needed to talk with her about something and they left, all three of them. It's nice to see them finally getting along." The woman had smiled then, looking up at her husband for a moment with the permanent warmth that seemed to reside there, especially when it came to the subject of Regina's renewed sense of purpose and, somewhat, happiness since the whole Robin Hood debacle. It had been Henry, of course, who had suggested to a rather frazzled Regina that perhaps Roland should attempt to wake his mother.
"But," she had softened her voice after accusing all others in the council of being dim idiots, "he's never really known her sweetheart," she'd stated, "how can he love someone he's never known." And Henry, being Henry, had leaned into her side conspiratorially and beat down yet another layer to the broken Queen's heart, "a child always knows his mother." Instantly his eyes had fallen over Emma's, his heart aching further in his chest at the look in her eyes, the complete adoration that, he finally realised, wasn't aimed at her son but the woman embracing him, the woman sobbing softly into his hair, pressing kisses whilst whispering her own words of love.
It had worked, the child had awoken his mother, a sweet kiss to her frozen forehead being enough to thaw out the icy curse. All had rejoiced, all except a woman robbed of her second chance, her 'soulmate' as it were. It had been during the celebrations, obligatory drinks at Granny's, that his own supposed true love had instantly left the diner in the absence of Regina, had walked, somewhat drunkenly, through the streets (he'd followed her for fear of something happening to her, the threat of the mysterious Snow Queen still looming) and realised instantly where her swaying steps were leading her.
He'd remained hidden in the shadows opposite the Mayoral mansion, had waited with baited breath as Emma leaned against the stoop, "Regina?" her calls had rang out, impossible to be ignored, "Regina, please let me in..." she had almost begged, "I'm not leaving until you do and unless you want some kind of blonde popsicle littering your lawn, I'd-" "Oh, get in here you idiot!" Regina had hissed though he could hear the amusement in her cracked voice from where he'd stood and then he'd watched as she had pulled the blonde into her home, into her arms and into her heart...
"I..." she stammered as his face remained unchanging, almost impassive as he awaited her explanation. "I can't explain it," her hand was rubbing a little roughly at her forehead, elbow resting on the knee that wasn't bouncing with her anxiety, her nervousness. "It just...sort of happened."
"Are you..." and he would curse his treacherous voice later for breaking, for cracking with his own heavy emotion for he had known it was coming and he had to, begrudgingly, respect her for telling him, for speaking to him before any lines had been crossed, before betrayal could be spoken from any lips. "Does she...make you happy?"
It hurt, far more than his own hook piercing his skin ever could, as a gentle smile crossed her features, her eyes looking just past him as images of dark hair and red pouted lips filled her mind, the soft scent of lavender filling her entirely and their shared words of admitted feelings too strong to deny which had led her to this point. "More than I ever thought I could be...and for that," she spoke quietly, her expression turning somewhat sympathetic as she looked at him once more, her hand coming to cover his as she attempted to convey just how genuine she was being, "for that, I'm sorry."
"I won't give up you know," he'd instantly replied, attempting to remain in some form of control of his damn emotions, falling back into the flirty banter he knew she expected from him and she knew he was joking, could see the resignation still fogging his eyes as he held her gaze.
"I know," she had replied softly as she stood, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his stubbled cheek, listening as he took one last lungful of her, "but Regina will singe your ass if you even think of it, pirate."
And they'd laughed as she pulled away, an awkward pained sort of end to what they'd had...if they'd ever truly had anything to begin with. It had hurt just as much, in the weeks after their separation, to hear news of their union, to hear whispers of acceptance and support...then he'd seen them, one fateful day. He'd watched as they walked leisurely through the town, hand in hand as they made their way to Emma's parents house, fingers intertwined and expressions of pure adoration on both faces, eyes never leaving one another's, completely oblivious to the world around them and...they'd looked so right.
Yes, it had hurt, it had hurt like nothing ever had before but, as the damn saying in this world seemed to go, if you truly love someone, you need to let them go and he had, he'd saved Emma in his own way, been the hero of his own story and for that reason he was able to hold his head high and...in a strange turn of events one evening, found himself in the presence of one he'd thought held only disdain for him. A strange little blonde fairy with eyes wide as, in a bid to find her own happy ending, she'd followed her own trail of pixie dust to find one leather clad pirate in need of a little company...well, he thought, his gaze fleeting as he looked over at Emma Swan feeding one Regina Mills some sort of ice cream goodness from her spoon before looking back to Tinkerbell, who was slowly inching closer to him, stranger things have happened.