Hello! I know I should be updating Stand Clear but I really wanted to write this! It was sort of two one shots that fell into my head that I ended up putting together.
I have most of chapter two of Stand Clear planned out and I've already started writing, it should be up within a week?
You should listen to Glitter in the Air by P!nk while reading this, it really set the mood for me while writing.
Disclaimer: Characters & Hogwarts aren't mine.
He watches as she raises her delicate hand to cover her mouth as she yawns. A few locks of auburn hair fall over her face. She's curled up in the crook of the sofa, knees folded into her chest, reading over her Charms notes for the quiz tomorrow. He's sitting at the foot of the coffee table, absentmindedly rolling a quill in between his finger and thumb. Lily Evans doesn't often yawn. Not in public, anyway. She must be really tired. He glances at her face again. Her brow is furrowed with worry, and she chews on her lip as she leans towards the table to pick up her textbook. He loves it when she bites her lip. He hates that she's stressed, of course. She doesn't deserve to be stressed. Not after losing her mum.
It's 1:30 in the morning, and the common room is nearly empty. A few fifth years are sitting in the corner, cramming for a History of Magic test that none of them have good notes on. Lily sighs and tosses the Charms book to the other end of the sofa.
"I'm going to bed, James. This is useless. Good night." She gives him a small smile before picking up the rest of her things. The light reflects off of her milky white skin as her red painted fingers scoop up her rolls of parchment. He loves it when she says his name. He loves how her curtain of hair falls down her shoulders as she leans down. But even more, he loves how passionate she is. He loves how kind she is. How hard she works. He always has. She's so strong, even when life keeps trying to beat her down.
She looks back at him quizzically, and he realizes he hasn't said anything. A faint blush creeps up his cheeks. He really doesn't want to blow this – this platonic relationship they have. They work together like brother and sister, always there for each other to talk, to vent, to help with problems, to sew holes in pajamas or sneak some food from the kitchens at 2am. Could it ever be more? He doesn't dare to hope.
" 'Nite Lily. Relax. I –"
It's always on the tip of his tongue. For no good reason – they aren't even dating. Yet several times a day his heart swells just by looking at her and his mouth yearns to say those three simple words – I love you.
"What?" she questions.
"Er – nothing. See you tomorrow."
He hurriedly gets up, grabs his bag and walks towards the boys' dormitory.
Lily watches him go. Does he have any idea? How much time she spends thinking of him?
As he got up, she'd watched as his undershirt slid above his belly button and exposed his stomach and abs. Although this usually sends her into fits of mental giggles, his hair is what drives her insane. He doesn't muss it up on purpose anymore, which almost infuriates her even more. It looks so soft, so wonderfully messy. She loves how he bites his lip when he tries to draw a diagram of Quidditch tactics. But even more, she loves how passionate he is. She loves how loyal he is. How hard he works. How mature he's become, finally expressing the beautiful parts of his personality. She knows being captain and Head Boy is stressing him out. She can tell by the way he yawns when they stay up late doing homework. It happens almost every night without fail – Lily Evans and James Potter sharing the same coffee table and textbooks. She tries to tell herself it was because they were both Heads and had rounds and duties, but she has long since resigned herself to the fact that James Potter exerts a powerful pull over heart. Whether she likes it or not – she doesn't know yet.
James stumbles into the common room, looking defeated, with his broom over his shoulder. It's past midnight, and Lily Evans is sitting in an arm chair – studying.
"Where were you? This Transfiguration essay is driving me nuts – the rest of the team got back ages ago!" she says, looking hurt.
His heart shatters. He hates disappointing her. "I don't know. I needed some time to clear my head. Fucking terrible week. Please don't be mad?"
The way her face lights up, almost immediately forgiving him makes him feel like a complete arse.
"I'm really sorry Lily. I'll help you with the essay, let me just grab some fresh pjs," he says quickly, even though he has a Herbology essay due and a Muggle Studies exam the next day and three nights of detention because McGonagall caught him giving a bloody nose to Avery for calling Lily a mudblood not 20 minutes ago.
When he comes back down, Lily is peering down at her ankle, putting some sort of beige strip onto it.
"What's that?"
"Oh, it's a band-aid. A sort of muggle thing for small wounds so you don't get blood all over the place."
"How'd you cut yourself?" James is worried, he hates to see anything hurt her.
"Oh just er –" she trails off.
"Sorry?"
"Shaving."
"But erm – can't you do that magically without cutting yourself?" he looks puzzled.
"Well – yes. But uh, I don't know. I like shaving the muggle way," she says defiantly.
"Why? Magic is faster and easier, and then you wouldn't hurt yourself." He really did hate it when she hurt herself.
Lily sighs, looking worried. "Well, it was the summer when I was 13. My muggle best friend Ashley and I, we wanted to er – find some cute boys on the beach," she mumbles, blushing. "But if we were going to show off our legs, we decided we should shave them first. It was the first time I shaved. And well, I don't know. It like a bond or something, I dunno. I think of her." She takes a deep breath. "It's special to me. It's special because we did it together. Me and my muggle friend. I don't need you to judge me," she finishes almost angrily.
"What? Judge you?" says James in disbelief. "I never –"
"Yes, you do. Just because I'm muggle born doesn't mean I'm not a competent witch. I can do everything you and your mates can – probably a damn sight better. I work hard and I belong in this world just as much as you do! I'm sick and tired of people thinking I'm stupid for using muggle things!" she finishes, a sob catching in her throat on the last sentence.
She whirls around, fully intending to storm up to the dormitory. James catches her by the elbow. Shock is written all over his face. And pain.
"Lily, I would never, ever judge you for being muggle born. You're perfect, just the way you are. Please, please tell me why you would think so," he says pleadingly.
She tries to hide it, but she is shocked that he thinks her perfect. It the please, though, and the softness in his voice, more than anything, that makes her turn around.
"I – just – I thought – I thought I wasn't good enough for you," she finishes in a sort of half-whisper.
"Wait – what?" James says in utter astonishment.
"I didn't want you to think me inept. I've been trying to prove to you that I'm strong and I can do everything the rest of you can. Mostly because I –" Her voice catches. "I fancy you. I didn't think you wanted me anymore, and I thought maybe it was because of my blood." She looks down.
James doesn't know what to say. He can't believe what he's hearing. Lily is just about to run out of the common room when he speaks.
"Lily, I have never stopped loving you. The fact that you're muggle born means nothing to me – in fact it makes you more amazing because you are so strong, and brave and smart and funny. You are the only real girl in the world, you are – you are amazing and I never thought I'd hear those words coming out of your mouth because I –" James takes a breath "I love you."
Lily looks up into his hazel eyes but only has a split second to register that her heart is beating 100 times its normal rate when his lips are pressed against hers and then her heart is threatening to jump out of her chest and she molds into his body so perfectly as he threads his fingers through her hair and she strings her arms around his neck and her fingers creep up to his tresses and their bodies press against each other as their lips frantically search for each other as if they're afraid they will lose the other.
And when they break apart, James' mouth splits into a grin and Lily wishes it wouldn't stop. She looks up at him, presses another quick kiss to his lips and says, "I love you, too."
So yeah, hope you liked it!
Please review!We'll be best friends! :)
Sorry if there are any issues with the tense, it was a new thing for me to try.
(and I know I suck at titles...lol)