This story is pure stupidity. If you're not used to or don't want to read such stupidness, turn back now. If you do, enjoy. It's all for you.
Disclaimer: None of the character mentioned or that will be mentioned are mine. They all belong to their respective owners. There is no profit being made from this story at all. So don't sue. No money gained.
Missing Links
Chapter 1:
Trowa, Quatre, Wufei, and Heero were in the living room, relaxing in one of Quatre's various estates. Suddenly a shrill shriek filled the air. The GW boys looked at each other then they rushed upstairs toward the room where Duo, was supposedly taking his afternoon nap.
***
Duo woke up and walked into the bathroom. What he saw at that moment, he had been dreading his whole life. He did what he felt a boy his age would do at that time…scream…very loudly. He ran out the bathroom.
***
Suddenly he heard someone (or some people) burst through the door. He was staring at the barrels of a shotgun, 9 mm., and a rocket launcher. He could also see the distinct glow of a blade of a sword. Duo sweatdropped. Why had he decided to stay with these trigger happy people was beyond him (like he should be the one to talk).
"What's going on?" Heero asked from behind the 9mm.
"Oh Heero, it's terrible!" Duo cried glomping on to Heero immediately, "Just horrible!" Quatre let his rocket launcher aim to the ground.
"Well what's wrong, Duo?" Quatre asked the Deathscythe pilot. Duo looked back at the bathroom, then he turned pale. Heero nodded at Trowa. Trowa nodded back at him. Then he tapped Wufei. Wufei nodded. The three proceeded with caution to the bathroom. Quatre, of course, was on back up. About a minute or two later the three came out of the bathroom. Wufei massaged his temples.
Heero walked to Duo. "Duo, there is nothing in there. What are you screaming about?" He asked.
"THERE'S NO MORE HERBAL ESSENCE SHAMPOOOO!" Duo cried in anguish. Everyone face vaulted then recovered.
"That's What You Were Screaming About, Maxwell?!" Wufei asked suppressing his anger.
"Hell Yeah! What did you think it was?" Duo replied. The pilots facevaulted again. The Shenlong pilot shouted his mighty cry of justice and went for Duo. Trowa held him back while Duo hid behind Quatre and Heero. After Wufei calmed down, Quatre tried to sort through the situation in the calmest way possible.
"So you woke up, ne?" Quatre asked. Duo nodded, "And you went to the bathroom, ne?"
"Right." Duo said, watching Quatre pace back and forth in front of him. His rocket launcher leaned casually against the corner wall.
"You looked into the bathroom cabinet to find no shampoo?" Quatre asked standing in front of him, "Right?"
"Right." Quatre fingered his chin.
"Has it ever occurred to you that we might be out and you would have to buy some more from the store?" Quatre asked him. Duo looked up.
"Hum…I never thought of that before." Duo said. Everyone facevaulted again. "Thanks Q-chan." Duo promptly skipped out of the room humming to himself.
Duo cruised down the aisles of the local store until he came to the aisle where the shampoo was kept. Suddenly everyone heard "NOOOOOO!" ring throughout the aisles of the supermarket. Everyone stopped and the people could see the faint blur of a long braid whiz through the exit.
Heero, Trowa, Wufei and Quatre were once more lounging in the living room, recapping this afternoon *clears throat* events. "Something is wrong with Duo." Heavyarms' pilot replied bluntly.
" 'Ch I'll say…screaming over shampoo." Wufei said, "Honestly Yuy, I don't know how you put up with him." Heero shot a glance at Wufei.
"What are you talking about? He's your boyfriend." Heero said.
"He's yours too." Wufei retorted.
"Yeah well, you're the one he sleeps with half the time." (Even though all three share a room).
"Who had him first?" Heero glared at Wufei with his glare-o-death TM. Wufei glared back. Then they lip locked into a deep heated, passionate kiss. Trowa and Quatre sweatdropped.
At that moment there was a frantic knock at the door. Trowa got up, answered it, and was knocked full force to the floor by Duo. Duo grabbed Trowa's shirt and shook him.
"YAH GOTTA HELP ME!!" Duo cried, "THERE'S NO MORE SHAMPOO!"
"Duo, get off of me." Trowa said calm, yet sternly. Duo let go of him and Trowa got back up. Duo grabbed his shirt again.
"THERE'S NO MORE SHAMPOOOOO!" Duo cried shaking Trowa again.
"Duo, calm yourself." Quatre said pulling Duo off Trowa. Quatre sat Duo down.
"THERE'S NO MORE HERBAL ESSENSES!" Duo cried, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, Q-CHAN?! HUH?!"
"What?"
"NO NORE SWEET FRUITY SMELL!" Duo cried, "MY LIFE IS RUINED!" Everyone promptly facevaulted (there's going to be a lot of this)
"Did you go to the store?"
"IT WAS EMPTY! THE SHELF WAS EMPTY!" Duo grabbed Quatre's shirt. "YAH GOTTA DO SOMETHING, Q-CHAN!"
"Duo, I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do." Quatre said removing Duo's hands, "You're just gonna have to buy another brand."
"You mean…" Duo started to daydream, "I have to buy another…brand." Duo imagined himself buying another brand. He was in the shower and the shampoo didn't lather up. Duo sniffed it. There was no fruity smell for Duo. Heero and Wufei turned away because his hair felt stiff and it didn't smell like fruit. "NOOOOOO!" Duo cried, "I could never betray my sweet Herbal Essence." He imagined an Herbal Essence bottle surrounded by bubbles and pastel in the background.
"Hey you." Said a voice. Duo woke out of his trance.
"Who's there?' asked Duo. The boys looked around for the source of the voice.
"Do You want Your shampoo back?"
"Well, yeah."
"Do you want to wallow in its lovely, lavishing foam?"
"YES!"
"Do you want to embrace in the smell of…"
"I said Yes! Now what are you going to do about it?"
"Well have no fear, Koenma-sama is here!"
"Who?" They all echoed. Suddenly a bright light appeared in the room. The pilots shielded their eyes. The light eventually died down and in its place was floating, what looked like a small chubby child with a HUGE dome hat. A pacifier was stuck in his mouth, and labeled neatly across the brim of the hat was 'Jr.'.
The boys debated on whether to draw their weapons on this bite-sized tike. Koenma yawned. The boys decided it would prove sufficient if they do. Within moments Koenma was staring at the barrels of a 9mm. , Rocket launcher, shotgun, an automatic, and the blade of a sword. Koenma sweatdropped.
"You just love that sword don't you?" Duo asked Wufei. Wufei nodded happily. Duo shook his head and directed his attention to the chibi floating above him. "What the hell are you?" Koenma cleared his throat.
"I am THE GREAT KOENMA! Righter of Wrongs! Defender Of The PEOPLE!" Koenma bellowed," And I have a neat looking pacifier." The pilots sweat dropped, decided he wasn't much of a threat, and put away their weapons. "Anyway, that's not important. I'm here to send you all on a quest!" Koenma said proudly, "A QUEST FOR [Kazoos blowing] THE HOLY BOTTLE OF HERBAL ESSENCE SHAMPOO!"
"Yeah!" shouted Duo. Everyone facevaulted again.
"You're sending us on a quest—" Heero asked.
"—for shampoo?" Trowa finished. Koenma nodded. It was quiet for a moment.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Quatre yelled nearly blowing poor Koenma away. Koenma nodded.
"But first you must prove yourselves worthy of such a quest." He said closing his eyes and crossing his stubby arms.
"I've heard enough." Wufei whispered so that only Heero could hear him. Heero nodded then looked at Trowa, and Quatre. They nodded too.
"Are you ready?" Koenma asked pointing at them. Heero cracked his neck.
"At that moment the boys, except for Duo who jumped for cover, (Hey you know how they can get ^_~!) drew their weapons and started firing at the poor, half-pint sized Koenma-sama. Dust and smoke filled the living room until no one could see a thing.
After a few minutes the boys stopped firing and the dust and smoke cleared. To their dismay Koenma was still there. Their eyes narrowed as they looked at him. They stared at each other in silence. In the background was a scorched and literally destroyed living room. Duo peeked from his hiding spot.
Suddenly the Maganacs came in dancing in a conga line. Duo turned and watched them dance around what was left of the living room and then proceed out. Duo sweatdropped and scratched his head. He then turned to his comrades and an even bigger sweatdrop formed.
The pilots and Koenma were in a deep staring contest, and neither side would let up. Duo quietly stood and cleared his throat. Then he ducked back down just in case a missile or a bullet would come his way. When the Deathscythe pilot heard no noise he slowly got back up. Finding everything fine, he proceeded out of his homemade bunker.
"So, you were talking about a quest to find my beloved shampoo?" Duo asked Koenma.
"Ah yes." Koenma said waking out of his daze, "You have proven yourselves worthy of such a quest." Duo beamed. "However I have to update you on some…uh…stuff."
"What stuff?" Duo asked
"Oh, just some things." He replied fiddling with his fingers. "Come with me and I shall fill you in further." Before anyone could protest Koenma snapped his fingers and they all disappeared.