You Are Going To Like This (my happy version):
A/N: So I was reading Chezchuckles story "You're Not Going to Like This" one night. I knew it was going to have a sad ending. Thats why I made sure I read it alone, in the dark, at 12am. BUT I found myself staring at the ceiling once I had finished just thinking "How am I going to get to sleep now knowing they never got together? I feel so empty" and that is when inspiration hit me, all at once. Mind you, this has never, ever happened to me before. I have never been inspired to write a story and actually done it. Let alone write it on my iPhone. I am not a writer, I am just a girl who has this creative streak inside that I have only just discovered.
Guys, if you haven't read it already go check out Chez's story that inspired this one! Then you can come back here to get a happy ending :)
The second she closes the door she breaks down. She slumps against the wall out in his hall; disbelief rushes through her body. He thought she didn't love him? This is what this is all about. Oh God, what has she done?
She waited too long.
Who was she kidding? There's only so much one person can go through before they break. He wasn't going to wait forever.
Castle stands frozen. Stunned. He doesn't know what to think.
She does – did love him?
This maddening, frustrating woman loved him and he loved her but he didn't trust her. It's about trust, right? His trust of her was broken by speculation? He had no solid evidence yet he'd come to that conclusion.
Oh, how he was wrong. But how can he come back from this? How can he make this better?
Does he even want to? No. He did the right thing. She led him on. She never loved him (well she does – no she did, but he can't tell himself that).
Oh but he does love her. Still. He'll never stop. He can't.
Slowly, Castle walks to the front door, gently sinks to the floor, against the wall and listens.
She's still out there. Is she – is that her - crying? She is crying, after talking to him. After finding out why he left… why they broke. Does that mean…? No. No, she doesn't. Does she?
Oh, she does! What has he done?
Kate stays hunched against the wall outside Castle's loft. Just as another wave of sobs wracks her body, she hears the quiet click of the doorknob. She removes her hands from her tear stained face and slowly looks up.
There he is. Standing – no. He's crouching. Kneeling down beside her. He sits, back against the wall and legs stretched out in front of him.
He doesn't talk. Not yet.
Kate turns her head to look at him. The man with the heart she broke. The man who trusted her with it and she broke it. She didn't even know. This damned subtext; oh, the troubles it causes. Why did they do this to themselves?
Kate, with her tear stained face looks at him. Such despair and sorrow written all over it. She made a mistake and he knows she feels – feels absolutely horrified with herself. He can't let her feel like this, knowing he caused it. No matter how much pain she has put him through. He still loves her. He will always love her.
She speaks first. It's quiet. Almost a whisper, but he can hear it clear as day.
"I'm so sorry Castle. I - I didn't want this to happen to us. I thought you understood. I wish I had been clearer. Then none of this would have happened. You'd still be with me everyday, sitting in that tattered old chair next to my desk. You know, I never did move it. I couldn't. If I had, I'd just know it would mean–" she trails off unable to finish the thought.
"I never wanted this to happen. I just - I wish you'd told me. No. I wish I'd let you know sooner. This is my fault and I want to fix it - I need to but–"
Castle interrupts her. "Kate–"
"No, Rick. Let me finish. I'm sorry, okay? I am so, so sorry. I know you don't want to hear it. I know it's too late. But if this is the last time–"
"Last time? No, no, no. No, Kate, look at me", Castle speaks softly, faces her and reaches out to cup her cheek with his hand. She looks back at him, their eyes locked. And he sees the sparkle, the glimmer of something – is it love? – he hasn't seen in a year. Her soft eyes flicker gold and green and brown. She is studying his face, eyes glistening with tears. How can he let her go? He thought she didn't love him but her eyes – their key form of communication - are telling him a whole different story.
She really does love him. Stupid, stupid man.
Castle looks into Kate's eyes, the blue pools reflecting the love she remembers from before - before she ruined everything with her lies. His hand gently caresses her cheek; thumb slowly wiping away the tears running down her face.
"Kate," Castle begins, softly. "I'm sorry for shutting you out, for not letting you explain. I wish - I just wished I'd handled things differently. I was just so angry. I - I didn't know how to feel. But when you came back here today? And you told me those things - I just knew how stupid I was to think like that. I said I would wait for you and I didn't, and I am truly sorry."
"Rick, no it's my–" she tries to interrupt but he stops her, doesn't need her to blame herself anymore.
"No Kate, it's not your fault. Although, if we need to blame anyone, I think we can share it. We were both so oblivious to what was right in front of us. Doubt made us believe things that weren't even there. But you being here, telling me these things? It proves that I was wrong. And I want to fix this – us. I want to see you again. To work with you, if you're okay with it, I mean. I know I've been a jerk and all that, but I want to make this work, again." Castle closes his eyes, taking a deep, reassuring breath.
"Okay", says Kate softly, eyes smiling, sparkling. "Okay, yes. I want to see you again too. We can make this work. Just - I think we shouldn't be keeping secrets anymore. We say what we think. No more subtext. I understand it may take a while to gain your trust again but I'm willing to wait. I'll wait as long as you need. You've done enough waiting around for me. Only fair I return it", she says with a small smile.
Castle opens his arms, inviting her in for an embrace. She winds her arms around his waist, lays her head on his shoulder. He rests his chin on the top of her head, breathing in the familiar scent of cherries - combs his fingers through her shoulder-length curls.
They stay like that for a while, holding each other. When they let go, Castle stands up, holding out a hand for his partner. She accepts his help and rises up with him.
"So, I'll see you at the precinct tomorrow?" questions Kate, sheepishly.
Castle feigns contemplation over the question, a mischievous glint in his deep blue eyes.
"Until tomorrow Detective", he answers with a wide smile stretched across his face.
Kate mirrors his expression. "Can't wait".
A/N: So this is my very first story. I'd love to hear what you guys think!
Also, I'd like to thank KT who beta-ed and helped me publish this story!