Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or any other books in the series, I do not own any of Stephenie Meyers characters

(This story begins as Bella leaves for Volterra to save Edward)

-Chapter 1-

I spoke quickly as I stepped onto the front porch, "Remember to watch out for Charlie,"

"Of course."

"And you'll take care of yourself too, right?

"Sure, sure."

"I'll be back before you know it, so promise not to worry about me."

There was a pause, "You don't have to do this Bella." Jacob stated, voice slightly strained.

When I looked up at him his face was twisted in pain and his hands, which he had balled into tight fists by his sides, were shaking. I struggled to keep my eyes clear of tears; I didn't want to leave like this, I didn't want to hurt Jake... "Yes, I do. I'd never forgive myself if I knowingly let him die. I owe it to him."

"You owe him nothing, Bella! You could die!" he exclaimed, suddenly furious.

I instinctively took a step back but that only seemed to make him angrier, and this conversation obviously wasn't going anywhere. "Jake, I don't have time for this! I've got to go now, okay?"

He scowled, "Fine, if you want to choose those bloodsuc-"

I stretched up on my toes so that our faces were just inches apart. "You know it's not like that." I accused. Then lowering my voice to a whisper I added, "I choose you." And gently pressed my lips to his. I was shocked by the strange electric feeling that flowed through me and lingered even once I had pulled away. Jacob was frozen and I lowered my face in an attempt to hide the blush blossoming across my cheeks.

Gently Jake cupped my face in his large hands and tilted it upwards. He was smiling broadly, smiling my smile, and he dipped his head to kiss me again. The electric feeling returned and slowly I wound my arms around Jacob's neck, twining his silky hair between my fingers. His hands fell away from my face and migrated to my waist, pulling me closer to him as he pressed harder against my mouth. I slipped my hands between our bodies and gingerly pushed against his chest. He broke away immediately, smiling sheepishly, then pulled me into a tight hug.

"I really do have to go now Jake," I murmured into his shoulder.

He kissed the top of my head and released me. "Be careful," he reminded me as I turned and dashed down the sidewalk.

"I'll be back soon!" I promised, climbing into the car and sending a quick smile in his direction.

Glancing back as Alice sped away I noticed Jake was no longer there, but a moment later I heard a distant chorus of triumphant howls.

"Well, aren't we subtle," Alice teased.

My face flushed scarlet as I realized she had been watching the whole time.

"Sorry . . ." I muttered. I hadn't planed to kiss Jacob . . . it wasn't my fault that Alice had been there when my resolve broke . . .

It was then that I realized the full extent of what I had done. I had kissed Jake, I had chosen Jake. I had unconsciously handed him my heart and given him the ability to break me, just like I had with Edward, though in the back of my mind I had always known it would happen sooner or later. I was sure that if he inflicted the same kind of pain Edward had, there would be no recovery. So I just had to trust that he would never hurt me the way I was hurt before.

I was glad that Alice had left me to my thoughts because I also had to accept the fact that when I got back, I would have a lot of explaining to do. Jacob deserved to know that I was just a shadow of what I had been before; I really was a porcelain doll, broken into so many pieces that even once Jake had glued me back together, I would still have the scars as proof of my injury. Even if he wouldn't change his mind, I had to make him understand that no matter how much effort he put into me, it can never help in the long run. But, I decided, I would be happy with Jake. I really did love him, and no doubt Charlie would approve, he already loved Jake before he helped me out of my state.

Suddenly, I was struck by a wave of guilt. Why was I thinking about Jacob when I was on my way to rescue Edward? Shouldn't all of my attention be focused on hoping we make it there on time? I knew there was only a slim chance that I would be able to save him, but Alice said he still hadn't decided on exactly what he was going to do to expose himself...yet. Maybe we could make it, maybe we could get there and stop Edward before he started and everything would work out right. Or maybe we would get there and it would be too late, maybe Edward would already be destroyed by the Volturi, the thought made me shudder.

I wasn't sure what would be worse; having to face Edward and tell him I had moved on, or getting there after it was too late, having to live with the fact that those few seconds kissing Jake could have meant the difference between life and death for my former lover. I guessed I would rather have to tell Edward I had moved on, it would be easier than living with the guilt of his death pressing down on my shoulders, but since when had things ever worked out the easy way for me?

A/N: Please leave a review, I would love to know what you think. I'm in the process of revising so expect more to come!