Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue, but the chicken is mine.
Author's Notes: Eh, this was inspired by the IHOP commercial…when you get fic inspirations from IHOP commercials, you know you are very very bored. *shrugs* Well, I'm still trying to get over my horrendous (I love that word) writer's block so don't kill me if Duo's OOC. I tried! Sap and a bit of humor ahead. Enjoy!
Chicken Dinner
By Shi no Tenshi
Tick. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tick. Tock.
The seconds ticked by as Duo Maxwell tapped his fingers on his kitchen counter to the Clock Band.
Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Ta- DING!
"YES!" The ex-Gundam pilot rushed to the oven and yanked open the door. Thick clouds of smoke billowed into Duo's face, filling his lungs with wonderful noxious gas. Nevertheless, he reached his hands into the oven excitedly, only to pull them out again as he was reminded that an oven heats. And that heat was hot. And that hot stuff burns. "YEOWCH!"
Three ice cubes, two Band-Aids, and a pair of oven mitts later, a black, charred chicken sat on a tray before the Great Destroyer.
Duo glared at the chicken. The chicken glared back. Or what could have been confused as a glare from a burnt piece of meat.
Frustration finally overcame him as Duo lost the staring contest with his dinner. All he wanted to do was make a nice surprise dinner for Hilde! He had the candles ready, even a new tablecloth!
"Why. Won't. You. Cook. Properly?!" he yelled, pounding his fists on the counter. "I get off from work early today to cook dinner for my wife and what do YOU do? You ruin it! I could just…I could just eat you!" Duo stopped. "Actually, I take that back…"
Just then, Hilde walked in from the foyer, whistling and wiping her oil-stained hands on her overalls. "Oh hi Duo! You came home early-" She cut herself off in mid-sentence when she noticed her husband ranting to himself…or that chunk of black stuff sitting on her kitchen counter. She tiptoed cautiously to the cursing man she lived with, previously dated, and married, and tapped him on the shoulder. "Duo…are you alright?"
Duo whirled around, sending his braid flying, which in turn knocked the chicken onto the floor with a splat, sending the ashes in all directions. "No, I'm not alright! That chicken was supposed to be your surprise dinner! But no. It refused to cook properly and now look what's left!" He hit his head against Hilde's shoulder, nearly breaking down. "I can pilot a Gundam, I can execute complicated missions, but I can't cook a freaking chicken."
Again, Hilde marveled at how sweet Duo could be. Her birthday two months ago had taken place on a rolling green hillside, overlooking nearly the entire colony. Duo had prepared a picnic lunch of lasagna, which she suspected came from the Italian restaurant down the street though, and her favorite ice tea. Of course, Duo spilled half of the tea onto the grass, but with Duo, you can't really expect perfection.
"Duo?" The dark-haired mechanic enveloped her husband in the biggest hug her 5'4" body could muster. "You're the best. But about that chicken…" She pulled away and flashed a malicious grin. "You can clean it up."
*hides* So…how was it? Horribly bad? Yeah, I know. Maybe a few reviews to help me get out of this crappy block? *hint hint* Anyway, thanks for reading!