Story Notes:

English isn't my first language, so I apologize for any possible mistakes.

A big thank you to Severus_divides_into_h for her help and support. I wouldn't do it without you.

Disclaimer:

I do not own the characters of Queer as Folk. They are the property of their creators. No infringement intended.

Justin was frustrated. Hurt. Sad. Actually, he was fucking pissed.

"What have you done?!" His hiss was loud, but he didn't care.

Brian just blinked at him and said nothing.

Justin tried to calm down. He was seriously tempted to destroy something, but it wouldn't be a solution. Even considering the great opportunity to release some tension he was sick to death with. No. Not now.

"Nothing."

Of course, nothing. Just hadn't said a word about fucking cancer. Once again.

Brian's expression didn't change a bit.

"You promised!"

Brian shrugged.

"Is this the best you can do?" Justin demanded angrily while Brian didn't even seem to care.

"What do you want from me?" he asked calmly.

The explosion was powerful. Full of grief. Full of something Justin couldn't identify.

"Nothing!" That's what Justin wanted to shout. That's what he wanted to turn his pain into.

He should have left then, but this very thought had made the ache in his chest almost unbearable.

How could he leave? It was Brian. His Brian.

He'd known that there would be a lot of shit going on. A lot of fear and insecurities. And he had been ready to deal with it. He had been ready to fight.

But now?

The cruelty of this had caught him unguarded. He couldn't see boundaries anymore. They were so thin that he barely remembered the last time he actually smiled without bitterness or pain. Without grief for abandoned hopes.

But there still was something. Something fragile. Something that desperately needed all the protection it could get.

Hazel eyes opened wide making a connection with blue ones – deep, vulnerable, full of an unspoken prayer.

Justin's tears didn't fall then – not until the strong arms opened tentatively. Not until Justin rushed into them.

"I so fucking love you, Brian."

And quieter, "I love you."

Painful tenderness in Brian's look almost gave him hope.

"We'll fight this, do you hear me? We'll fight this together."

Brian just pulled him closer and closed his eyes.

If they could hide anything it wasn't this.

If they could leave something behind it weren't vows. Not even the silent ones. Not even the ones in their thoughts.

Not even the ones in their hearts.

The end