As I lie on the clean white bed, I plug in a pair of my old headphones from the human days. OK, I keep the volume down to a minimum because much louder will destroy my vampiric hearing. I flick on one of my favourite old CDs and pick up my diary. Darren convinced me that I should write one. I brush my long scraggy black hair from my eyes, grab the pen from the table beside me and begin to write.
Every day I live, I remember the sacrifice.
Every day I live, I ensure it's not in vain.
Dear Diary,
I had admired his gravestone. He had fought and won just so that we could win the war. I trained with the generals; I won my place. I fought against the vampaneze too and I know now exactly what he meant. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't try as hard as he did. OK, I could never quite try as hard as he did, but I gave it my all. Perhaps it was enough, perhaps it wasn't. But when that sword plunged straight through my gut, I knew my life was over. My father, the hating git, had started all of this, so ultimately killed me. Before, he killed Darren. How could he kill Darren? Especially after he had saved me from becoming like him…
For those who gave their all
You shall live again through me
My solemn vow you are forever now
This may be the last we see our hero
The first time I saw him, I was full of hatred. I still feel vile for thinking he was the monster. How naïve was I? The last time I saw him was at home, that day before the riots at the stadium. Darren had gone away telling us we'd see him again. But he's dead – the fallen hero.
This is an oath to the fallen heroes.
This is an ode to the ones we lost.
This was then and now.
The last days before return
I stared at the tiny scars on my fingertips and felt an awesome sense of honour to be Darren's nephew. After all that he gave, he still died. But he died for what he believed in, so I guess that makes it a little easier to take. Mum tried to tell me not to get too upset over his death. So I didn't. But I won't forget him. I'll never forget the man that I almost wanted to kill.
The memory will not be silenced or erased.
In the glory of your worth
He had converted me to vampirism. He had saved my Mum from being the mother of a killer. He gave everything for others – seriously. He gave up his humanity for his old best friend. He gave up a fairly safe life in Vampire Mountain to try to end the War of the Scars. In the end, he gave his life fighting so that the likes of us could live. We'd never have to face the hardships that he did.
This is an oath to the fallen heroes
This is an ode to the ones we lost
This is an oath to the fallen heroes
This is an ode to the ones we lost
I swore on Darren's grave that went I went to fight the vampaneze I'd do it with all my heart. So I did. I gave it my all. But now, as I lie on the hospital bed, I feel weak. Nothing can save me really. Mum just wants to believe it, but I now, as all vampires do, this wound I have been dealt is the fatal one which will tear me from this world.
I... I'm dying again
I think I've lived a good life. I fought for a noble cause. Everyday before I fought, I made a prayer to the vampire Gods and I made sure that my new life redeemed the mistakes I had made as Steve's apprentice. When I saw him kill Shancus, in purely cold blood, I remember the feeling of cold and hate. I was numb. And Daren was about to kill me, in order to make evens. I felt I deserved to die. But Debbie, she stepped in. She saved me. Even now, as a slightly aging woman, she's looking after me. She too is kidding herself into believing that I stand a chance.
This was then and now the last days before return
The memory will not be silenced or erased
May your deed bring peace?
A new resolution of change
I smile when I remember Darren at the Cirque du Freak with Harkat. He had sat there and I was scared shitless of him. Honest to God, I freaked when he lunged across the table to stop my soup spilling. But I had given him away. I had ultimately led to Tommy Jones' death. I couldn't take it. Yet Darren still risked his life by giving me his blood. I survived – sure I was rough for a few months – but after that spell, I was as good, no better, than I ever had been before.
This is an oath to the fallen heroes
This is an ode to the ones we lost
Darren, Larten Crepsley, Hibernius Tall and Arra Sails; they had all died fighting. Now, it's my turn. I fought as bravely as I could. The sword that killed me was the last taste of battle in this world. Hopefully, Paradise is peaceful. I can feel the strength leaving me. It's a relief but sad too.
I... I'm dying again
This is an oath to the fallen heroes
This is an ode to the ones we lost
I…ugh, I'm really dying…now know how he felt, dying in victory. I smile weakly, and, as I write this final sentence, feel Death take me.
I... I'm dying again