NOTE: If there is anyone from the Phineas and Ferb Fanon Wiki reading this, note that it is in little way related to the timeline I have built up in my stories there. That is all.
It started out like a normal dream… Wait, no, scratch that. Opening's too ordinary. I need to spice things up. Okay. Let's start by… eh… talking about… cookies. Yes, cookies. I love cookies. Particularly fudge cookies – that is, the ones that are all-chocolate. To a lesser extent, I like chocolate chip cookies, because they have chocolate in them too. If there's any type of cookie I DON'T like, it's probably oatmeal cookies. Mainly because of their depressing lack of chocolate.
Wait a second, maybe it's not the cookie-ness I'm attracted to, it's the chocolate!
I knew it. Always did.
Back to the cookie discussion. Oatmeal cookies aren't so bad, compared to raisin cookies. Those disgusting pieces of baked goods that dare to replace the excellency of fine chocolate chips with RAISANS of all things.
Disgusting.
You know, I'm sure Phineas had a fondness for cookies too. But at the current moment I'm writing about, he wasn't eating any. Why, he was sleeping – in his house, up the stairs, in his room, on his bed, complete with his head and attached body parts resting on a fluffy pillow, with anything else of him from the upper chest down covered by a nice blanket. Despite these accommodations, Phineas – unlike most others – had a troubled look on his face. He was surely asleep, but something was bothering him.
The most logical idea was that he was having a bad dream. At the time, I wouldn't have been able to confirm this, seeing as I'm not psychic and I can't see what others are dreaming of; however, prior to the writing of this story, Phineas confided in me the details of this theorized bad dream, which I shall now share with you, lucky reader.
Imagine. You're in a grassfield. There's grass as far as the eye can see. It's raining heavily, drenching you and the grass. This is what Phineas saw. Rather, what Dream Phineas saw, because the real Phineas was not in a grassfield, he was sound asleep, as mentioned before. Why would he be in a grassfield in the middle of the night anyway? That's kind of creepy.
Dream Phineas had been walking for quite some time. He was cold, wet, and soggy (whether wet and soggy are the same thing is up to you to decide), but determined to get out of the place. Finally, in the distance, he saw the end of the grassfield, which stopped at a sort of cliff-like structure. "Yes!", he cheered, overjoyed. He was, at last, close to getting the heck out of there.
Hey, you know that "Yes!"? That's the first word spoken by a character in this story. Such a milestone. My mother will be so proud of me. Although, one may debate if Dream Phineas is an actual character, or a manifestation of the real Phineas within his subconscious, and therefore imaginary and not a legit character. No matter – the real Phineas will speak in the story. I have no plans to keep the setting in the dream world the entire tale.
I won't go Inception on you.
I promise.
Dream Phineas ran as fast as his legs could carry him, letting the wind crash into his triangle head and flutter his shirt sleeves, his excitement overtaking his body, propelling him into a state of high enjoyment yet to be expressed by him up until that moment. "Sweet, sweet freedom!", he shouted to no one in particular – although I suppose he could've been referring to the exit, though an exit isn't one who can listen to another's words, but a location. And anyone who THINKS a location is one who can listen to another's words is absolutely bonkers.
He could've also been talking to himself, as he is a person.
Or maybe he was just saying that for the heck of it.
Anyway, the horizon came closer and closer. Dream Phineas kept closing in. It was SO close! SO CLOSE! (Why am I saying "close" so much?) With a leaping bound, he came upon the cliff, but soon skidded to a hasty halt, his ginormous grin turning within a millisecond's time to a look of horror. Below the cliff, below the end of this seemingly previously-neverending grassfield was nothing. It was like the whole place was an island floating on an ocean of pitch darkness.
Muttering something under his breath that symbolized his frustration, Dream Phineas prepared to turn back when he realized something of utmost peculiarity. The pitch darkness, as it seemed to him, wasn't quite pitch darkness in its entirety. He had a purplish tint to it, suggesting it might not be what he had afore conceived it to be.
Dropping to his belly, Dream Phineas lay off the edge of the cliff and tapped below. Immediately, his finger touched something gooey; a ripple effect occurred. "Ah-ha! This is some kind of glop!", he concluded. This time, he plunged his whole hand into the concoction and pulled it out. "Yep, definitely glop", he said, intently observing the black-purple substance on his palm. "The whole island must be floating on it…"
Suddenly, a loud "THUMP!" sounded. "What was…?" In the middle of his wondering, Dream Phineas stopped cold. This was all becoming strikingly similar to some past dreams he was having as of late…
Dream Phineas leaned over the edge of the small cliff once again. Nothing had happened to it since he engaged it some movements ago. And then…
PLOP!
A thick stick-esque structure rose out of the glop, covered in it. A sphere started to form at its top, and then it divided into four… claws? Oddly enough, another one came out as well and did the same thing.
Out of nowhere, the two pairs of claws lurched for the cliff; Dream Phineas jumped back in alarm. The claws were attached to hands, which hoisted a body out of the glop. Dream Phineas stared as he had stared many times before.
The beast's head was exactly the same as Phineas's, but with the glop oozing from every inch. Its eyes opened, being the only white parts of its completely dark anatomy (quite the contrast, I might add) and its pupils darted back and forth, searching for its prey, when they rested on…
Phineas.
Dream Phineas, that is.
Real Phineas was still asleep, dreaming all of this.
Like a wolf, the beast lunged at Dream Phineas, who fell to the ground after the tackle, and tried to hold it back when he noticed something – the glop that had once been in his palm had expanded and covered his entire arm, and since hardened into a cast, rendering his hand unmovable like if you had dipped it into some quick-hardening cement.
He hadn't time to further investigate this, and he kicked the beast off him. In doing so, a dripping piece of glop stuck to his foot. Alarmed, he tried to use his free hand to pry it off, only to get it stuck to that too. The glop on his hand took the shape of several vines, and wrapped around his chest and back, tying both of his arms and rendering him defenseless.
Dream Phineas tried to get up and run away, but fell back to the ground. He looked at his legs to find the source of this dilemma and found, to his horror, that the leg whose foot had the glop was now too in a cast of the hardened thing.
Looking up, he saw that the beast had recovered from the kick and was glaring at Dream Phineas with a sense of bloodlust in its eyes. Dream Phin made one last attempt to escape, but the beast lurched into the air again and pounced on the poor child. As it landed, it scratched Dream Phineas on the face viciously.
"Aaah!"
Glop from the beast's slash on Dream Phineas's face seeped into the open wounds, contaminating his bloodstream, and causing unbearable agony. Dream Phineas thrashed wildly from the pain and…
Wait, hold on. I have a hunch that you aren't getting the full experience from this story. And me, being a writer, wants you to get the full experience. I want you to feel for the characters, and know what they are going through. Therefore, I have concocted a way for you TOO to feel the "unbearable agony" Dream Phineas is going through. BEHOLD!
UNBEARABLE AGONY EXPERIMENT… -INATOR
You will need:
* Three very sharp objects
* Jar of snake venom
* Me
* Salt (optional)
STEP ONE: Take the three very sharp objects and brutally slash yourself across the face with them.
STEP TWO: Splatter the snake venom on your cuts or wounds.
STEP THREE: If desired, rub salt vigorously on the cuts or wounds.
STEP FOUR: Have me laugh at your misfortune to make the pain more delicious.
(Notes: Step two and three can be done in reversed order. You may want to call me up before doing the experiment, since you'll be in too much pain to do so during said experiment. It should be noted that this may kill you, if you're not already dead from trying to get the venom from a poisonous snake. Also, sorry Chuck Norris, this won't work on you.)
All done? Good. I'm sure you'll more connected to Dream Phineas now.
Speaking of him, Dream Phineas tried to hold back the pain, but while doing so, the glop on his face took on the vine appearances too, and began taking over his face. First, it covered his mouth, and no matter how hard he screamed, his voice was not heard. Eventually, his face became red, and he gave up. He felt every muscle in his body giving over to the glop, giving it complete control of him.
As the glop continued working its way up, Dream Phineas lost all feeling. He looked up and saw the beast towering over him, like it was marveling at a great sculpture it had finished. It opened its mouth and hissed at Dream Phineas with its snake-like tongue as the glop covered his eyes…
And that is the end of the first chapter. Stay tuned, for a new chapter for this story shall be weekly!