I came back so salty from the CA:CW premiere that I just needed to write this. I hope you'll enjoy.
Title taken from T.S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" because I will continue to put this poem everywhere (including my body) and no one will stop me XD
Bucky opens his eyes with a surprise. It is one of these rare mornings when he wakes up without remnants of a nightmare still clouding his mind. He treasures these, allows himself to lie in bed a little longer and listen to the sounds of his neighbours making breakfast. His own hunger for one motivates him to finally get up. It is sometimes still a little difficult to take care of himself, to remember that he is the only one making decisions about himself now - but he does manage his life and with every day passing, it makes him feel like he's making yet another step away from Hydra.
He has a day off today and is still not sure what to do about the time. Usually he'd spent most of his day cleaning streets. It's an easy but honest job. It provides him with money to get by and sometimes makes him feel as if he's not a burden to society. Also, nobody asks about your skill set when you apply and you don't have to think too much about being nothing more than an assassin and danger to others.
After breakfast, Bucky goes out to do some shopping. He needs new gloves because with the metal hand he wears them down pretty quickly. He goes to the market near his flat and some of the stallholders greet him when he passes. He often cleans there and even though he tries to attract as little attention to himself as possible, he can't become invisible. But on a day like this, with the people who are practically strangers smiling at him and wishing a good day, he may get used to being unabashed around others again. Yesterday, a girl who was waiting for her mom to finish buying vegetables picked up some sweets wrappings that were laying at her feet and brought them to him with a sense of a mission written all over her face. He still brightens up when he recalls the occurrence.
Bucky ends up with two new pairs of gloves and a second-hand book about Captain America that he couldn't stop himself from buying once he caught sight of it. He knows it's stupid, he has the internet and the memories that come back to him in the most unexpected of times are worth more than any book. But he still ends up with the purchase.
His last stop are the food stalls. He restocks some of his usual and then goes on a special quest to buy plums. He was never a big fan of them but recently he's read on the internet that they help with memory issues and… Well, it won't hurt him to eat some plums, will it?
A red-haired young woman who is selling fruits explains to him with a tender smile how to choose the best ones of the batch. He listens intently, while he weighs them in his flesh hand and checks whether they're not too soft. He wouldn't want them overripe, the red-haired girl says.
On the way back he buys dinner - his favourite spring rolls from a Chinese place at the corner. Only after getting back to the flat and putting them on a plate, Bucky realizes the old lady who always serves him must have given him an extra one. He smiles to himself and even though it still feels a little stiff on his mouth, he cherishes it as it lasts.
As he's eating, Bucky turns on American television on his laptop and settles on a channel that's showing a black-and-white film. It's a comedy and has some good music and Bucky soon loves it. The crazy adventures of the two main characters remind him of the times when Steve and him were just two kids from Brooklyn with stupid ideas - though they never managed to get into trouble that would make them run around in dresses to masquerade as members of a female band. There are days when memories from before the war bring bitterness but as he sits in his flat, free, with a full stomach and a film that continues to amuse him - this time there are no pangs of pain in his chest, but pleasant warmness.
It's that feeling that encourages him to actually open the book he bought today. After the film finishes (with a scene that actually made him bark out a loud laugh), Bucky settles on his bed, wrapped in a blanket, and starts reading. He follows the words with the index finger of his flesh hand, as if touching the text could help him stay grounded in reality and stop from getting lost in his own head. He doesn't read much but it's enough to bring back memories when later he's lying on the bed trying to fall asleep. Usually the memories connected with Steve that come to Bucky are the ones about his fall or about beating Steve almost to death when he was still the Soldier. However, tonight, something in the book unlocked a different memory - from when they were still just kids from Brooklyn.
They're walking to Steve's place after school and Steve is still excited about his drawing being praised by the teacher today. They're almost there when they hear some commotion in an alley nearby. Of course Steve stops to check what it is about and they see three boys harassing a three-legged dog.
Steve is already running towards the scene, yelling at them to leave the dog alone, and Bucky is right after him. Fortunately, the bullies turn out to be tough only when poor animals are involved. Bucky manages to block most of the punches aimed at Steve. In the end, he defeats two of them while the third one is already running away after a weak kick to Steve's stomach. It is not without satisfaction that Bucky discovers that he is the only one injured. He doesn't mind a black eye when Stevie is alright.
When they finally get to Steve's home, Sarah Rogers takes one look at them and seems to know everything that happened. She gives Bucky a packet of frozen peas for his bruises and then bakes an apple pie - Bucky's favourite.
"At least your ma knows what appreciation means," Bucky jokes later on when he's enjoying his second serving of the pie.
"I'm not a damsel in distress, Buck, you're not getting rewards just because you jumped into fight with me," Steve announces. Bucky snorts and busies himself with cutting a perfect bite of the pie when all of a sudden he feels a brush of lips on his cheek. A kiss.
He looks up bewildered but Steve is looking at his own plate. Bucky doesn't miss the blush blossoming on Steve's pale face, though.
So many years later in Bucharest, Bucky manages to fall asleep with a small smile tugging at his lips.
The film Bucky was watching is "Some Like It Hot" (1959). If you haven't seen it, I strongly recommend, it's one of my favourite comedies :3