Disclaimers: I own nothing Rizzoli & Isles. That is the privilege of Tess Gerritsen, Janet Tamaro and TNT. I love the show so much that I continue to use R & I as my muse. No infringement intended.

A/N: Writers block has been rough on me so it's been quite a while since I've been brave enough to post anything new. Something I posted awhile back on tumble has been nagging me for some time now. I decided to start small and revisit it. So here we go. Hope you enjoy it.

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Maura sighed heavily as she stepped outside for a moment, in hopes that a little fresh air would ease the throbbing in her head. Though her friends and family have all been so wonderful to her over the past few days (especially under the circumstances). Not one of them had barely left her alone for single a minute since it happened. This was the end of what could have been considered the longest week in Maura's adult life. Her ability to keep her mask in place for much longer was fading rapidly and she could feel it slipping away faster by the minute. She was not feeling very strong or holding up well but they had to believe she was for a little bit longer. Just until she could get them to leave for the evening. Then and only then could she fall apart.

Maura understood that everyone around her was just being supportive, in their own way of course, but they were ultimately suffocating her. She was not used to this type of hovering attention. All Maura really wanted right now was curl to up into a tiny ball and wait for her best friend to arrive. To come swooping in with her usual swagger and wit telling her everything was going to be alright. Because right now nothing in her mind was alright. She knew that wouldn't happen anytime soon. She was also beginning to realize her actions over this past year had drastically changed her life and she was now seeing that many of those changes were not for the better like she had originally thought they were.

As Maura stood soaking in the silence, she was half expecting the side door to swing open at any moment with either one of her mothers or Angela's face to be looking out at her. If not one of them then they would surely be sending Frankie out looking for her before long.

She hadn't really been paying attention to anything in particular as she breathed in the cool spring air allowing her mind wander. It wasn't until the blinding glare of the sunlight reflecting onto her face that she was brought back to the moment…back to her current surroundings. The sudden flash of light in her eyes was enough to cause her to shift her gaze slightly, it was then that she noticed the unfamiliar car parked in her driveway. She watched as a tall lithe body stepped out of the vehicle slipping into a jacket. She continued to watch as this woman sauntered up the walkway closing the distance between the two of them.

"I know you think it's because I didn't like him…that I didn't come sooner." The raspy voice whispered.

It wasn't until Jane actually spoke that Maura knew it wasn't a dream. That voice told her that her friend was really standing there in front of her. That her eyes weren't just playing tricks on her like they had been for days now.

"You stopped coming around whenever he was here, Jane. What was I supposed to think?" Maura answered looking up into her friend's eyes for the first time in three months.

The shakiness in her voice was clear, "I tried to get here sooner Maura. I honestly did."

"You missed the funeral and burial service." You weren't here when I really need you. Maura's mind finished.

Taking a moment to gather herself and allowing a deep sigh to slip from her chest, Jane answered, "That was not my intention, Maura. You need to know I'd never intentionally not be here for you. Especially not at a time like this."

Her voice coming out colder than she intended, "There is no need to explain, Jane. Angela has already apologized for you and told me about the difficulty she had in reaching you. The only thing we could find out for days is that you had been sent out-of-state for some sort of case. You had your phone off."

"Maura. Come on." Jane sighed again as she flipped her hair to one side. With a slight smile beyond her control lighting up her face she continued, "You have to believe that there isn't any case or anywhere in the world that the FBI could ever send me that would be more important." than you are to me Jane thought, "I'm Sorry. I didn't get anyone's messages until after I talked to Ma."

Quickly wiping a tear away, "I needed my friend by my side earlier today, Jane."

Stepping closer to her friend now Jane spread her arms out wide, "I know Maura…I know you did and I wanted to be here for you…I know that I should have called…" Jane shook her head, "…but by the time Ma got a hold of me a-and she explained what happened I got on the first flight I could get but none of them were…I couldn't get any direct flights. I. Am. So. So…sorry that I wasn't here for you sooner than this, Maura."

Finally taking a good look at her friend's appearance. Her overly wrinkled clothing and the dark circles under her the woman's eyes then taking note of the different vehicle her friend had driven up in she asked, "So you drove here from Texas then?"

"No…Yeah…sort of." The tired woman blew out a breath, "I flew into D.C. because it was the closet I could get. I had to change planes in Kansas first though…then drove the rest of the way."

Letting the tears freely flow Maura whispered, "You didn't even tell me that you were leaving town. I-I tried calling you but I didn't want to leave that kind of message. S-s-so I went over to your apartment and y-you weren't home. Your phone went right to voice mail. When I called your office all they would say was you were out of the office." Maura finishes as she defeatedly stepped into those open and welcoming arms.

"I'm sorry Maur. I should have called you. I should have at least told you but I didn't tell anyone. I know that's no excuse but it was a classified case so I couldn't really say where I was going." and I really didn't think anyone would miss me anyway "Besides…I really thought I'd only be gone a day or two." and be home before you even noticed.

Stepping back to look up, "You're right. That is no excuse. You could have just told me you had to go out of town. When it was more than a day you should have told someone. You had everyone worried." Tapping the woman holding her with her a frustrated fist, "I'm still going to be mad at you over it but right now I am just relieved that you're here." And she truly was. More than even she could understand.

Skipping everything the woman in her arms had said but those last few words she said, "Me too, Maura. Me too." Biting her lip before saying the only thing she could get out, "I'm sorry to hear about Jack."

After leaning in and kissing the top of Maura's head Jane pulled her friend in close once more, "It's going to be okay, Maur. Maybe not today or tomorrow but I promise it will be." Because this time I'm going to be here to make sure of it.

As much as she was hurting right now, Maura knew it would take time to get over losing him. That loss had to be dealt with in stages. This though. Being here like this was the start of the healing process. She knew it was. As crazy as she it seemed to her, she could feel it all the way to her bones. It also was time to start the healing process of so many other things that she had neglected in her life as well. This friendship being the first. Because somewhere along the way it had been broken.

Though it was true that she cared very deeply for Jack, Maura found that it hurt far more knowing Jane would leave town without telling her. She knew their friendship had changed in recent months but had not realized just how much until that moment. That Jane could be gone for five days and never consider checking in. That she had not tried to call her friend prior to what had happened.

Upon review it seemed they were becoming more like acquaintances rather than best friends these days. Maura knew Jack had filled much of her spare time but didn't realize just how much. The bigger adjustment though came when Jane took the position the FBI had offered her. Even though she was just across town working in the FBI's Boston field office they no longer saw each other every day. It seemed their communication had been narrowed down to only phone calls and texts as of late. Something Maura was only now understanding.

The fact that Jane would pick-up and leave town at a moment's notice, not thinking twice about contacting her was more than enough proof of that change. That separation.

Maura wondered how many other times had Jane left town or had her life been in danger that she hadn't heard about. How much of their conversations had been edited to fit the time constraints. In the brief moments she was granted alone she had not thought of Jack but found that she calculated all the times Jane had initiated their contact over the past year verses hers efforts. It wasn't until right at that very moment though that she put it all together. She was the one cutting Jane out of her life, not the other way around like she had initially thought. She hadn't seen Jane for three months because she had either cancelled on the other woman or had to change plans due to Jack's schedule.

Maura didn't know if it was the fresh air or being in Jane's arms like she was right now but she knew she could breathe for the first time in days and the pounding in her head was gone. She was filled with a warm feeling that consumed her from head to toe.

"Jane?"

"Hmm?"

"I know I don't deserve it and I haven't been a very good friend lately but would you please promise me that you won't ever leave town again without telling me…or…s-someone that you're going?"

Jane chuckled and gave her a squeeze, "You don't have to worry about that Maura, because I'm home…um…home for good now."

"For good?"

"Yeah" Jane signed, "But we can talk about that later." Pulling away so she could look, really look her friend over for the first time she asked, "How are you really doing…with everything? "

"I don't know. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. Everything is off kilter. Everything just happened so fast."

Jane took it as her que and shifted them toward the bench in the yard.

"I feel so empty…so confused. Confused about everything that happened."

She bit her lip and ran her hand through her unruly hair, "Yeah, Ma said you put the wedding on hold? Before…um…"

"Yes. I'm still not sure why, but I felt claustrophobic every time we discussed any plans. He agreed with my request to take a step back and I agreed to meet him for dinner. He seemed uncomfortable and since I was uncomfortable as well I didn't ask what was wrong. Everything was awkward between the two of us during the meal. He seemed agitated over everything I said to him. Then he collapsed just as we got up to leave. EMS was called immediately and he was already gone by the time they arrived."

"Oh Maur." Was all Jane could bring herself to say. She was hurting for her friend but didn't know how to make her better.

"He asked me if I loved him. I never answered him, Jane." She looked at her friend with such pain in her eyes that Jane wanted to cry for her, "I did love him but when the time came…when I was watching him slip away…I couldn't say it! Why? He was dying, Jane and I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. What is wrong with me?" She begged as she dropped her face into her hands and began to sob.

Jane wanted to say 'nothing…nothing is wrong with her. That she was perfect.' Though for her part she stayed quiet. As Maura sobbed and began to shiver Jane quickly removed her blazer, wrapping it around the smaller woman. She then pulled her into a side hug just rubbing her friends arm up and down in a show of comfort and support. She couldn't have use her voice if her life depended on it because her mind was screaming too loudly. Berating herself for her own selfishness. For not being there for this woman when she was needed.

After a few moments when Maura showed no signs of calming down Jane took the sobbing woman fully into her arms whispering whatever comforting words that came to mind.

Jane had heard her mother's voice in the distance calling out for Maura but she was nowhere to be found when she finally pulled her attention away from the woman in her arms.

Maura finally calmed down and the full weight of her body sagged into Jane's chest when she spoke, "I am really glad you are here, Jane." She sighed deeply, "For some reason, I not only know everything will get better, but I feel it." And she truly did.

Yes, Maura knew she was going to be alright. That this was the start of the healing process. Healing the most important relationship in her life right now. The one that had been taken for granted and neglected for far too long because Jane was there with her right now. She was there for her. Even though she hadn't deserved it. Even though she had not been a very good friend in return.

Maura pulled Jane in even closer to her while breathing in deeply. Comforted in everything that was Jane. Everything that she now realized she had missed for far too long, "Thank you Jane."

Slightly confused, Jane leaned down to look into her friend's face, "For what?"

"For everything. For coming into my life…for being the person to fly across the country and drive the rest of the way when you couldn't get here fast enough. For being you and caring so much about me when I clearly haven't been the best friend to you lately."

Giving Maura an all-consuming hug Jane said, "You are my best friend, Maura. It's what friends do for one another." and I'd do it all again because I love you. She then mentally corrected herself. I'd do anything for you because I'm in love with you. The truth was she knew she would never have to try to get back to this woman ever again because she never planned to be too far away ever again.