Author's Note: After tinkering with a dead laptop off and on for the last year, I was finally able to get it working again and found a bunch of fanfiction either done or partially done. Obviously this was written earlier in the show's mythology, just after episode 15 of the first season. Back when we weren't sure who Jane would turn out to be. Now with the third season approaching I look forward to seeing what the writers have done with Jane and Kurt.
Movie Night
Four weeks had passed since the incident in the museum where his jugular had been sliced. After assiting the team in finding Jane, he had taken the time to physically recover. But he was the first to admit that he hadn't done so gracefully. He had pretty much been armchair quarterbacking the team's investigations from his living room. As he looked around now, he could say he was finally satisfied for the first time in the last few weeks. Reade, Patterson, Zapata, and Jane were all here eating, drinking, and watching a movie. He had seen three of the four regularly as they stopped by to check in on him. Jane was the only one who somehow had always managed to stop by to drop things off when he wasn't home. Tonight he realized it hadn't been by accident. She had been avoiding him. She looked tired and she had lost weight she couldn't afford to lose. His instincts screamed that something was going on with her. Something that had her tied in knots. She tried to act as she usually did but he could see it was just an act. He had become a pro at reading her facial expressions and her body language and those did not match up with her words. He wished he could learn to read her mind too.
They were halfway through the movie. He had been watching her out of the corner of his eye since it had started. It hadn't missed his notice that she had also been glancing at him in between watching the TV screen. He could tell she was assessing his health and had seemed reassured enough that she allowed herself to sink deeper into the couch cushions. He wished could feel the same about her own condition. The sharpness of her cheekbones and the darkened circles under her eyes were concerning. She would always be beautiful to him but he was worried by the sudden change in her appearance. After all, it had only been a few weeks since he had been gone.
Most of the time the team forgot that Jane's memory loss had likely been caused by something horrifically traumatic. Since the memory she'd had of the children in the cellar, and her reaction to it, it was always in the back of his mind that any memory she experienced could be devastating. Who knew how much past trauma she was coping with while exposing herself to potential traumas everyday? Mayfair had just told him earlier in the week that Jane had all but stopped talking to the psychiatrist. In his mind that was just more proof that her past was resurfacing. When she had known nothing she had been a full participant in the sessions and open to talking to him as well. Since that childhood memory she had been slowly closing herself off. She was either protecting them from something or using every ounce of energy to process her situation.
The rest of the team had been commenting on the movie to one another and getting up for food and drinks. Not Jane. While she had originally been engaged with the rest of them, she had stopped interacting and he knew why. He had caught her eyes drifting shut on two occasions. Even now her head was resting on the padded arm of the sofa while her gaze was on the screen. He would bet money that it he asked her what had just happened, she wouldn't be able to answer. He also caught Patterson looking over at Jane a time or two but she was careful not to disturb her. Patterson was pretty intuitive and, other than him, she was probably the one most likely to watch over Jane. Jane's eyes drifted closed again and this time they didn't reopen.
When the movie ended, the rest of the group finally realized that Jane had fallen asleep. Since it was now the wee hours of the morning, Zapata, Reade, and Patterson put on their coats to go while glancing over at Jane to see if she would wake. When it became clear that she was soundly asleep, he told them to head out and that when Jane woke he would take her home. After everyone was safely away, he dimmed the lights further, grabbed the warm throw off the back of the couch, and very gently covered her with it. He returned to his recliner and swiveled it in her direction. Grabbing another throw, he too, settled in for the night. He wasn't going to take the chance that she would sneak out without talking to him first.
Only a few hours later he snapped awake. Jane had pulled her legs up and was curled into a ball. Her breathing had changed to a short and rapid pattern and one tear glistened on her cheek in the soft lighting. Whatever was going on in her head was clearly not pleasant. He walked over to her and crouched down brushing strands of hair away from her face. Less than thirty seconds later he found himself face down on the floor in a hold that would dislocate his arm if he struggled.
"Jane, you're okay!"
She released him and stumbled backwards dropping to her knees. He rolled over and sat up to see her running her hands over her face. He could practically see her pulling herself back together.
"Sorry. You shouldn't touch me when I'm sleeping. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Are you?"
She stood up and turned away starting to pace the perimeter of the room.
"Yes, I'm fine. Where is everyone?"
"They went home a couple of hours ago."
"Oh. Sorry I feel asleep. I'll head out."
"Your ride left. Why don't you stay? I haven't been sleeping much at night and with Sarah and Sawyer away I don't have anyone to talk to."
He could see that Jane was torn. She wanted to leave but as usual she was sensitive to everyone else's needs. It was that level of sensitivity that assured him that she was a good person at heart even though he knew she questioned her own past.
"I guess I could stay," she said reluctantly.
"Hungry? Cause I'm starving."
He was far from hungry after all the snacks from earlier but her wanted her to eat. Before she even answered he had a bowl out of the cabinet and was gathering the ingredients for his special buttermilk pancakes. Silence reigned during the mixing until she broke it.
"How are you doing Kurt?"
"Good. I'll be back to work later this week. I even got a doctor's note for Mayfair to prove I have permission," he responded with a smile.
She returned that smile and as he poured that batter onto the skillet he asked the same question in return.
"How are you, Jane?"
"Good."
"Really?," he asked skeptically.
After a pause she responded, "Good enough."
He flipped the pancakes as he pondered her response. Good enough for who? The team? Herself? Him?
"Any new memories while I've been gone?"
The clatter of the fork on the floor was the only answer he needed. She was remembering things. He plated pancakes for the both of them, while she retrieved the fork, and he put warm maple syrup on the counter between them.
"Want to talk about it?"
The both busied themselves with their plates while his question still hovered between them.
"No," she replied softly a short time later.
"Okay."
It wasn't okay. He knew it and she knew it but he wasn't going to push the issue. Especially when he saw the while knuckled grip she had on her fork. After only a couple bites she pushed away from the breakfast counter and began walking around.
"Don't like the pancakes?" he asked.
"No, they are actually very good. I'm just not hungry."
Sure she wasn't he thought sarcatically. Her body was clearly in need of nourishment but he knew her mind was the problem.
"If you come back over here I'll tell you a story about us when we were kids."
It was a bribe but a bribe that worked. She sat back down and stared at him. He stared at her plate and she picked up the fork. The second she put the food in her mouth he began to tell her a cute story about their shared past. When she would stop eating he would pause in the tale and she would stab some more food. He was able to get a smile and even a chuckle out of her as she finished her plate. It was good to see her happy. While he cleaned up everything he turned the conversation back to his recovery and what the team had been working on in his absence. Those were topics she was more comfortable discussing. He turned in time to see her covering a big yawn and pinned her with his gaze.
"Why aren't you sleeping?"
"How do you know I'm not?"
So many answers to choose from but he was trying to steer the conversation in the direction he wanted it to go.
"I care about you so I pay close attention to you. The others may be willing to let things slide but I'm not."
"It's just hard for me to sleep at night. My mind won't turn off. I think about the past, the present, and my future."
It went without saying that she was also thinking about any memories she had recovered. He closed the space between them until she was forced to look up. There was such vulnerability in her eyes. He rested his hands on her shoulders.
"You were sleeping here with no problem."
"That's different. There was noise, and activity, and . ."
"You weren't alone," he finished for her.
He pulled her in closer and rested his chin on top of her head.
"You know you don't have to be alone. You don't have to prove that you're strong. I already know you are."
Jane wrapped her arms around his waist and closed her eyes.
"You can always stay here Jane. There's room. Sarah enjoys your company as does Sawyer. You already know it's hard for me to let you out of my sight. I worry that you'll disappear. If you stayed here I would worry less."
"Kurt, I'm not ready to be around people all the time. I need. . . I guess I need space to think."
"You need space tonight?"
When Jane shook her head he knew he was going to get his way tonight. She would be staying. He slid his hands down her arms and clasped her hands pulling her in the direction of the couch. Once he sat down on the end, he pulled her down beside him. The remote clicked the TV back on and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders pulling her into his chest. She was stiff at first but relaxed as he flipped through the channels. Her yawning started shortly after he found a movie for them to watch. When they spoke their intermittent conversation focused on the story unfolding in front of them.
Halfway through the movie Jane started unconciously snuggling in closer. He took the opportunity to reposition them so that he was spooning her from behind while his head rested on the arm of the couch. The fact that she didn't protest or tense up as she settled her head onto arm proved to him that she was exhausted. It wasn't long before she was soundly asleep and he took joy in her trust. As he drifted off to sleep he wished every night could end like this one. The two of them together. A happy ending just like all of the best movies.
