"There's no fucking way!"
Santana takes the laptop off her knee and sets it on the floor beside the bed in anger. "That thing is stupid. I don't care if J.K. Rowling made it herself, there is absolutely no way I'm a Hufflepuff!"
Brittany looks up from the magazine she's reading and smiles.
"I think you could be."
"Britt, everyone knows I'd be in Slytherin. Someone as badass as me does not belong in Hufflepuff."
"Santana, do you even know what traits Hufflepuffs have?"
"I know enough to know that I'm not one."
Brittany puts her magazine down and moves up the bed to sit in front of Santana, legs crossed. She takes Santana's hands in her own and starts tracing small patterns on her skin with her fingers.
"Well… Hufflepuffs are really loyal. Like, they'd do anything for someone they love or something they believe in. I think you've got that part down."
Santana bows her head slightly, and Brittany can tell she's blushing. Santana still gets butterflies when Brittany starts being cute, and really, Brittany's cute all the time, but sometimes she really just outdoes herself.
"And Hufflepuffs work hard and are really dedicated. They don't give up on things just because they're difficult. You always work hard, all the time, whether you're cheerleading or performing in glee or figuring out who you are. You've always worked really, really hard."
"Britt…"
"But they can be stubborn and scared of change too. And I know you've been scared of change before. Well I've been afraid of changing, cos I built my life around you," Brittany sings with a smile to prove her point.
Santana's in serious trouble. If Brittany doesn't stop with all the cuteness right now she really can't be held responsible for her actions.
"Okay, okay," Santana says, still blushing. "Could I at least be, like, a Slytherpuff or something?"
"Nope. You can't be in two houses at once. And besides, I'm in Slytherin, and love stories are so much more interesting when there's rivalry," Brittany says teasingly, holding Santana's hands tighter and gently pushing her back on the bed.
"What! You're not a Slytherin! No way! You don't have a bad bone in your body!" Santana says in surprise.
"Just because Voldemort was in Slytherin doesn't mean everyone who's in it is bad. Snape was in Slytherin too and all he ever really did was love a lot. Slytherin is where all the great leaders come from and I won class president so…" Brittany leans in so their noses are almost touching, but stops just before they make contact.
Santana's losing the ability to come up with words, so instead she just lets her eyes flick from Brittany's lips to her eyes and back to her lips again.
"And Slytherins are really cunning…They know how to get what they want," she says, and Santana can feel her breath on her skin, but Brittany's pinning her hands down and isn't touching her anywhere she needs her and it's driving her crazy.
"Britt, this isn't fair, can you just kiss me already?"
"Slytherins don't really care for the rules or what's fair, Santana," Brittany whispers into her ear, and Santana swallows and closes her eyes because, fuck, Brittany is literally the only person in the world who can turn her on by talking about Hogwarts houses.
"And Hufflepuffs are supposed to be patient…maybe they did sort you wrong," Brittany says as she starts to trail light kisses down Santana's neck.
"Britt, I… can we just be muggles and can you please just kiss me now?"
Brittany changes the direction of her kisses, and makes them trail back up along the line of Santana's jaw until their lips are together and Brittany can actually feel Santana melt into her.
Brittany pulls back after a few moments, staring into Santana's eyes as if they're the only thing she can see.
"How about we just make our own magic?" she says, before her lips are back on Santana's skin, making their way south, and Santana's pretty sure that's the best idea she's ever heard in her life.