Arthur (2): invention (5)

In My Shoes

If I could create anything in the world, I would create a device that lets you actually live life in someone else's shoes. I never understood that metaphor growing up. I mean, how hard is it just to put on someone else's shoes and walk around? Yeah, I'd struggle in high heels, and my feet are bigger than some people's so it would be a tight fit, but how hard is it?

Now that I'm older, I understand it. My ex-wife? She could use this device. Francine thought I was never trying hard enough, that I could always do better and better and better, but I told her I couldn't. Why haven't I gotten a promotion? Well, you've never met my boss. You've met the I'm In Public version of my boss, not the I'm At Work In Private version that hovers over my desk and tells me how useless I am, that he could fire me anytime. I eventually left the company, which wasn't good enough for Francine. Why are you making less now? How are your sons going to eat? What do you mean you'll 'figure it out', huh?

She was always yelling at me over something, but she didn't understand that this was a problem. When I served her papers and left the house, she thought it was my fault, but I told her point blank I was tired of all the accusations twenty-four/seven. My words were never good enough, so she never listened. My lawyer listened, and it looked like her shell-shocked lawyer listened to if we're being honest. She saw I was running from a bat-crap-crazy woman, so she didn't help Francine push back, but Francine wanted to, boy did she ever.

So I'd switch places with her using this device. I mean, I'd love to know what she was always thinking too. She spent all day at home, her choosing. I told her to get a job, to do whatever she wanted, but she didn't do that until I served her papers, and then it was My Fault that she had a gap in her employment history spanning seven years. I never told her to be a stay-at-home mom. I told her I would do whatever it took to get her back out there, but no, she wanted to be home with the kids. Fine. Maybe if I had this device, I would understand why she made such a huge deal out of both sides—not going back to work then complaining when she had to. What was I supposed to do? Stay with her? I mean, she admitted she wasn't in love with me anymore. Why stick around?

I'd love to switch places with my old boss too. I always heard rumors that he had a wife like that, or a mother, or somebody, but no one could ever tell me which so I ignored it. Did he have that at home? Did his home life suck so much that he had to take it out on us or was he just an asshole? I'd love to know the truth. I would love to know that about a lot of people, but it's not possible right now.

I do miss my old life though, and that's why I dream about this invention. I used to come home from work and play with the boys. We'd run through the house or hole up in the playroom with Legos and army men and have at it. Francine hated it because we'd get so off schedule, but who cares about a late bath time when you're making memories? I wish I knew what they thought of me too. Francine got full custody, so when I have visitation we go do fun things, but they never say anything. I know she's dating again, but otherwise they have nothing to say. I don't think that's true. I think she says things about me, about how bad of a father or a husband I am, and they're just nice enough not to repeat them. They are getting older now, and they had always been smart.

As for the dating part, do I really want to go through this again? I meet someone, maybe start a family with them, and then I'm right back here telling you how I need a device to figure out why my ex was such a pain in the butt, how I'd want to walk in her shoes just to know what the deal was all the time. Why would anyone do that to themselves?

So no, I'm not dating again, but I'm not hung up either. I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment (just in case she lets me keep the boys overnight), and I go to work at a job that's not the best but it's better than what I had. It's not the life I expected, but I do feel better about myself. I worry about my sons and how their upbringing is coming along, but I know I have to forget about those things if I don't want to go crazy. You can't think about them really, not if you want to have a healthy line of thought.

I guess that invention would do more harm than good, but I want answers. I mean, why does that lady at the deli nitpick for forty minutes over sliced ham? Why is the waitress crying in the bathroom? Why did the neighbors tie their bicycle outside with a thin little rope and get upset when someone ran off with it? I want to know what's in other people's heads without all the psychology nonsense. I want to live a day in their shoes, and they can live a day in mind, and maybe once we understand each other, this world will be a better place.

~End

A/N: 15 of 100. I wrote this piece for my 10x10 Challenge. You can find details on my profile or PM me about it. Also, if you would like to participate, let me know so I can check out your responses. I'd love to see what other people come up with for these themes, especially since this one in particular as stumped me. I chose this route but I don't think that's what the theme wanted. I just couldn't do anything else so far, so here you go. I hope you guys like it anyway.