Boyd and Grace fic, Grace has been victim of an incident, but is she telling him the whole truth, her bizarre behaviour makes him think she isn't.
Disclaimer – I own nothing except my imagination.
Rating – T, Nothing graphic but deals with an adult theme.
Trauma !
"Grace? Grace?" Boyd ran through the front door almost taking it off its hinges in his hurry to find her, searching each room as he hurried through the house. "Grace?" As he reached the bathroom, the door was locked. "Grace, are you in there?"
"Yes, I'm in here."
"Why's the bloody door locked, you never lock the door."
"I'm in the bath."
"Open the door Grace."
"Peter I just want to be alone."
"You either open this door right now, or I'll come through it."
"I'm in the bloody bath, can I not even get some peace and quiet in the bath."
"I need to see you; I need to know you're okay."
"I'm fine, I was just…it was nothing."
"You're not bloody fine, I can tell by your voice, now you have sixty seconds to open the fucking door or I'll break it down."
"For god's sake Boyd, I'm just having a bath; I'll be out in a minute."
"No way, fifty seconds and counting."
"Fine have it your way." She pushed herself out of the bath, the water was cold, and had been for some time, but she'd continued to sit in it, almost unaware of anything until he'd started banging on the door. She wrapped her bathrobe tightly around herself, covering the marks on her skin and then unlocked the door; the minute she did Boyd pulled her into his arms.
"What the hell happened, I just got this phone call, and I went to the hospital but you'd already left, and I've been worrying myself sick, are you okay?" The words came out of his mouth at such speed that he didn't stop to draw breath.
"It was nothing, just some bloody thug, he stole my bag and pushed me over, it was just a mugging, it happens to people every day.
"Why did you walk out of the hospital?"
"Because I wasn't hurt, I just wanted to come home and get cleaned up. Could you let go of me please."
"You've got a cut on your head Grace; the person who found you said you were very upset and disorientated."
"I'm fine; I just want to forget about it."
"So what actually happened?"
"I've told you, it was just some thug, he stole my bag."
"So how the hell did you end up down some darkened alley? Did he force you down there, or where you already down there?"
"I don't remember okay, please Boyd; I just want to forget about it."
"You don't remember?"
"No I don't remember."
"Then I'm taking you back to the hospital, you need to get that head wound looked at, and I'm not taking no for an answer."
"I'm not a bloody child Peter."
"Then stop acting like one, how can you not remember how you ended up down a dark alley?"
"I don't want to talk about it, okay, I just want to put it behind me, now for god's sake just leave me the hell alone."
"I am not leaving you."
"Last time I checked this was my house."
"Your house, our home. Remember?"
"Fine, stay; just leave me the hell alone." She pushed passed him and walked into the bedroom that they'd shared for the past two years, his words were the words she had used when they decided to move in together, it maybe my house, but it'll always be our home, she remembered them well. She just wanted to be alone; she didn't want him fussing over her, constantly questioning her. She just wanted to forget about it.
It was already late when he arrived home, he had said he was working late, so she had decided to go on home, stopping on the way to get something for dinner, and some other bits of shopping, she'd put the shopping in the car and was on her way back from returning the supermarket trolley when it happened.
As always she'd done what she always did, parked in a lonely dark corner of the supermarket car park, she always parked in the same place; it had a little cut through to the high street, so if she needed to go anywhere else it was handy. The cut through was always quite busy, on the corner at the other end was a small branch of a bank, and it was always used by a lot of people for the ATM on the outside. There was only one downside to that little cut through, it had another smaller, darker alley that led off to one side, one that led to nothing, except the back of the small high street shops, and it was down that darkened alley that she had been found, huddled up behind a bin, by a shopkeeper who was putting his rubbish out at the end of the day.
He had tried to help her, had called the police and an ambulance, she had gone with them, but had refused to give a statement, and had left the hospital before receiving treatment for her wound. They had managed to take her details and contact her next of kin, Boyd, but by the time he arrived she had walked out and gone home.
On arriving home she immediately ran a bath and got into it, sitting in it for hours, the water freezing cold by the time he had started to pound on the bathroom door and ask for answers, truth be told, she'd have sat in that bath all night had he not come home.
As she pushed past him, Boyd walked into the bathroom, he looked around for her clothes, but couldn't see them, he looked at the water, it had a red tinge to it, and he knew instantly it had been caused by more than just the blood on her head wound. He put his hand into the water to remove the plug, the temperature shocked him, it was freezing, and she'd been sat in that water just minutes earlier. Something was wrong, something was very wrong, and he needed to find out what it was.
He cleaned up the bathroom, and then went looking for her, finding her curled up on the sofa, nursing a, long since cold cup of coffee. She was wrapped up in pyjamas, slippers and bathrobe, the only part of her that was visible was her hands and face. He desperately wanted to make her undress so he could see where she was hurt, but he knew he needed to be careful, there was something more to this than a simple mugging, she was hurting, and he was terrified of finding out the truth, but he knew he had to. He also knew he had to play things her way, to gently ease the information out of her; this was a time for the Grace approach, not the Boyd approach.
He stooped down at the end of the sofa, and gently prised the cup from her hand, careful not to spill the contents over her. "Why don't I get you a fresh cup." He suggested, taking the cup with him, she didn't answer him; she just sat staring into space, holding her bathrobe tightly around herself, almost afraid of letting him see her. He returned a short while later with two cups of coffee. "Here, drink this." She took the cup from him, but still didn't speak to him, "talk to me Grace, please, tell me what happened."
She stared at him, "I told you what happened, I was mugged."
"And that's all?"
"Yes, that's all."
"I'm sorry, but I don't believe you, the bath water was red, your hurt Grace, and I want to know where."
"I banged my head, you can see that."
"No I think it's something more than that; there was more blood in the bath than just that from your head."
"I don't care what you think, I've told you what happened, if you don't believe it, that's up to you, now I've had enough of talking about it, I'm tired, I just want to go to sleep." She put her head on the arm of the sofa and closed her eyes.
"Grace, sweetheart, please just tell me what happened, whatever it was, it wasn't your fault, I just want to help you." She didn't respond, she kept her eyes closed, and ignored him; he knew she wasn't asleep, but he decided to leave it for a while. He gently kissed the top of her head, "I love you." He said under his breath before leaving her alone.
Once she was sure he had left the room she opened her eyes, and pulled her knees up to her chest, she wanted him to leave, she knew it was his home too, and she'd never ask him to go, but she just wanted to be alone, she wanted and needed solitude. She spent most of the evening closing her eyes when he walked into the room, trying to convince him she was asleep, he was obviously well aware of what she was doing, so in the end he just sat on the sofa next to her, he brushed her hair from her face, but she instantly jumped at his touch.
"What are you doing?"
"Relax, it's only me, I just wondered if you were hungry?"
"No, I don't want anything; I'm going to go to bed."
"Okay, you go on up, I'll lock up and join you in a bit, okay?" He lent forward to kiss her, but she pulled away from him. "What's wrong Grace?"
She didn't bother to answer him she just went up to bed and left him downstairs. He locked up and sat and drank a coffee before going on up, he didn't have a clue how to get Grace to talk, all he could do was keep trying, gently.
He left it about an hour before going up to bed, she'd already turned the lights off, he sat on the edge of the bed and turned on the small lamp beside the bed, he doubted she was really asleep, so didn't worry that he might wake her up. As he got under the duvet, his attention was immediately drawn to the fact that she was still wearing her bathrobe and slippers over the top of her pyjamas. "Grace?" He got no response, "Grace, are you awake?" Again he got no reply; he put his hand around her waist and tried to undo the bathrobe.
"What are you doing?"
"You've got your robe and slippers on."
"Leave me alone; take your hands off me."
"Grace it's boiling in here, I was just trying to take your robe off to cool you down."
"Trying to undress me, for god's sake Boyd what were you going to do, force yourself on me whilst I was asleep."
"Don't be ridiculous! Grace what's going on?"
"Just leave me alone." She got out of bed and hurried to the bathroom, locking the door behind her before he could stop her.
"Grace, open the door, come on, please, just open the door."
"I want you to leave; I want to be on my own."
"I'm not leaving you alone, open the door please."
"Go away Boyd."
Boyd sighed and turned away from the bathroom; he returned to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, at a loss at what to do. He suddenly noticed his phone sat on the bedside table, he picked it up and scrolled through the contacts, stopping at Dr Eve Lockhart, he hesitated for a few moments before hitting the dial button.
"Hello." Eve's voice was soft and calm, as always.
"Hi Eve it's me, it's Boyd." As soon as he spoke he realised he had no idea what to say, he needed her help, he needed someone that Grace trusted, someone that could help him sort out this situation, because at the moment he was talking to the bathroom door, and getting nowhere. He explained the situation as best he could to Eve, and she was at their front door within half an hour.
Eve knocked softly on the bathroom door, "Grace its Eve, can you let me in please?" There was no reply at first, but then she heard the lock on the bathroom door click open, she stepped into the bathroom and saw Grace sat on the floor by the bath, huddled up in a corner. Eve sat on the floor near her, but not overly close. "What's going on Grace?" She asked her.
"Nothing's going on; I just need some time on my own."
"Boyd's worried about you."
"He's over reacting, as always."
"You're sat on the floor of your bathroom with the door locked, I don't think that's normal, do you?"
"Ha! What is normal these days?"
"Boyd said you were attacked…."
"Mugged, I was mugged, that's all, I wasn't bloody attacked."
"Well you have a head wound, and Boyd said he saw blood in your bath water."
"From the head wound, it was just dried blood from the head wound."
"Will you let me have a look at you?"
"What?"
"Will you let me look at you, to see if you're hurt somewhere else, maybe it's somewhere you can't see."
"No, absolutely not, I'm fine; it was just a scratch on my head."
"If you're fine, why won't you let me examine you?"
"Because you're a bloody pathologist not a doctor, and I'm fine, I don't need to be examined by anyone."
"Boyd said you walked out of the hospital."
"Boyd seems to have a lot to say all of a sudden."
"He's worried about you Grace, you won't talk to him."
"Because there's nothing to say."
"I disagree, I think something is wrong, very wrong, and you of all people know that you need help."
"Me of all people! Oh really, what do I know eh? Nothing! I'm just some sad and bitter old woman fit for nothing except a nursing home."
"You know that's not true Grace, now why don't you tell me exactly what happened."
"I was mugged, for god's sake why won't anyone listen to me."
"You were found cowering in a dark alley that led to nowhere except the back of some shops, you were bleeding, your clothes were torn, and you were clearly in shock, now how about you tell me what really happened."
"I want you to leave."
"You need to tell us what happened Grace, either me or Boyd, or someone else if you don't feel comfortable talking to us, but it's important that you talk to someone, you may even need treatment."
"I want you to leave." Grace replied staring blankly at the wall.
"Will you at least let me help you back into bed?"
"I'm not bloody infirm; I just want to be alone."
"I'll only leave if you agree to come out of the bathroom, if you want to stay in here then you're stuck with me I'm afraid."
"Fine, whatever you say." Grace got up off the floor and walked out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom, Eve followed close behind her.
"Here let me help you with your robe." Eve said, whilst trying to untie Grace's robe.
"No it's fine; I want to keep it on."
"It's quite warm in here, are you sure you wouldn't rather take it off."
"I think I know my own mind, thank you."
"I'll leave you too it then, if you need me, I mean if you want to talk to someone, then I'm only a phone call away, I don't mind, whatever the time is."
"I'm okay Eve, thank you." Grace lay down on the bed, whilst Eve got up and left. Stopping on her way out to say goodbye to Boyd, apologising for her lack of progress, and offering to stay and sleep on the sofa in case he needed support in the night. Boyd declined her kind offer, and assured her he would be okay.
As she left he again locked up, and then went up to the bedroom, this time he didn't get into bed, choosing instead to sit on the chair at the bottom of their bed, it was a bucket style chair, more for decoration than comfort, and as such wasn't built for a man of his size, but he would make do. He spent his time watching over her, she wasn't sleeping, he knew that, but she was at least resting.
He wasn't sure how he could have possibly dozed off given the severe pain in his back and neck caused by the uncomfortable chair, but he must have at some point, because he never noticed her get up again. He was woken suddenly by a large banging noise, and instantly jumped to his feet, causing a severe pain to shoot through his back. He ignored the pain and hobbled out of the bedroom, heading towards the sound of the thumping noise. As he walked into the lounge he could see a huge pile of books on the floor, and the extensive bookshelf half stripped of its contents.
"Grace what are you doing?"
"I can't find a book I'm looking for." As she spoke she continued to pull the books of the shelf and allow them to fall to the floor, Grace was a book lover, she hated them being mistreated and would never normally have thrown them around as she was.
"Stop it." She was completely oblivious to his words. "Stop it, come here." He put his hand out to touch her, to try and hold her, but she brushed him off. "Come here?"
"Leave me alone, I need to find a book!" She almost screamed the words at him.
"No, stop it Grace." He put his hands around her waist and tried to pull her away from the books, but she struggled and wriggled, desperate to get away from him.
"Get your hands off me, leave me alone, stop it, stop it, stop it." This time she screamed the words at the top of her voice, and when he eventually let her go, she fell to the floor and crawled to the corner of the room, huddling into a little gap by the book shelf.
At the end of his tether, Boyd sunk to the floor and sat almost opposite her, his legs stretched out in front of him, slightly left of her. He didn't speak for a while, he just sat looking at her, she was huddled up like a child, her knees pulled up to her chest, gently rocking back and forth. After a while he again tried to talk to her. "Tell me what happened."
She said nothing for about ten minutes, and then spoke softly, her voice childlike, "I can't."
"It's me Grace; I thought you could tell me anything."
"I can't tell you this."
"Why not?"
"I just can't."
"What happened, did you walk through the cut through, to go to the bank." She nodded her head gently. "Did someone follow you from the cashpoint?"
"I don't know, I just remember him being behind me."
"Then what happened." He questioned her gently.
She sighed before trying to answer him. "He...he had a knife, he pressed the knife into my side and then put his hand on my arm and forced me down the little side alley, the one that leads to the back of the shops, when we were out of sight he put his hand on my throat and told me to empty my purse."
"Please tell me you just gave him what he wanted."
"I took my purse out immediately, and just told him to take what he wanted."
"So what went wrong, because this is more than just a street robbery, isn't it?"
"Yes, it is."
"What happened?"
"I'd only taken out twenty pounds, he said it wasn't enough, I offered to go back to the cash machine, but he said I was just trying to get away from him, he tightened his grip on my throat, I couldn't breathe, I thought he was going to kill me. But then he stopped, he said he was going to teach me a lesson, he dragged me behind one of the bins and pushed me onto the ground. As soon as he pushed me to the ground I knew what he was going to do. I begged him Peter, I begged him not to do it, not that, why would he do that to me, I'm a 65 year old woman, I'm old and wrinkly."
"Tell me what he did."
"He pushed me to the ground, that's when I hit my head, he sat astride me, he used the knife to rip my underwear, and then he held the knife to my throat. He held it to my throat all the time he was doing it, he said if I screamed or struggled he would cut my throat, I was so scared."
"What did he do Grace, you still haven't said what he did."
"I don't need to say the words, you know what he did."
"I need you to say it; you need to say it, to admit what happened, acceptance. Remember?"
"I can't say it, I don't want to say it, and I don't want to admit it or accept it."
"I know you don't, but you need to."
"He raped me, okay, are you happy now I've said it. He held a knife to my throat and raped me, and when he'd finished raping me he kicked and punched me until I passed out."
"Why would you think that would make me happy?"
"Well then why push me?"
"Because I need you to accept what happened, if you don't accept it and get help, then you won't get over it."
"I'll never get over this; I'll never feel the same again."
"Yes you will, we'll get you help, the first thing we need to do is get you to the hospital, you need to be checked over."
"I don't want to go to the hospital."
"I don't care what you want, you need to go to the hospital, you need to be examined and tested for...well I'm sure I don't need to spell it out."
"You're not listening to me Peter, I'm not going to the hospital, I'm not reporting it to the police, I just want to be left alone."
"Grace you need to be seen by someone, it doesn't have to be a hospital, if you'd prefer we can go to a rape crisis centre."
"I'm not going anywhere."
He leant forward and reached out for her hand, but she still refused to let him make contact with her. "You need help Grace, physically and psychologically, you can't just forget about it, because we both know that this isn't something you can forget about. If you don't want to report it to the police, then that's your decision, and whilst I might not agree with it, I will respect it. But you need to get checked out at the hospital, chances are he's some low life junkie that could have any number of infections that he could have passed on to you."
"Thanks for that Peter, I really need to be thinking about that at the moment."
"Actually that's exactly what you need to be thinking about, you need a wakeup call Grace, and if I have to be cruel to make you understand that, then I will, I love you and I only want what's best for you."
"What about what I want?"
"If you were thinking straight, I think you would agree that this isn't just what you want, it's what you need. I will come with you; and I will stay with you, no matter what happens I promise I won't leave you."
"I'm scared Peter, I don't want to go through anything else."
"I know you don't, and I wish I could make it all go away for you, if I could go through it all for you, I would. But that isn't an option." The change in the tone of his voice forced her to look up at him; tears were trickling down his face. "I'm sorry; what right do I have to cry when it's you that's gone through the worst kind of attack possible. I can't stand the thought of someone hurting you, it drives me mad, I just want to take it all away, and failing that I want to find the bastard that did this and make sure he spends the rest of his life eating his meals through a straw."
"What would that solve?"
"Nothing, you'll still be hurt and scared, but I don't know what else to do."
"I need you with me."
"Always, I promise." He once again stretched his arm out, extending his hand to her, this time she stretched her arm out in return, and took hold of his hand.
They remained where they were, sat on the floor, arms stretched out, hands joined, surrounded by books that had been thrown all over the room, it was an important breakthrough, and he felt sure he would now be able to get her the treatment she needed, and give her the support to get through it.
The End