Don't own the Inheritance Cycle. No suing allowed.
Transgression
She tells herself that she shouldn't feel this way, that it is forbidden, especially for a traitor. But she cannot forget. Not when those dark eyes peer into her soul.
She's curious as to where the attraction began, and why it never waned. She's curious about her jealousy. She's curious about a great many things.
For any other woman, it is quite normal to be enchanted by a man with a dangerous background. But I am a leader, and I should not condone this behavior. It is blatantly stupid... and... is not appropriate for one of my status, she told herself, but it didn't help. Nothing really did.
She used to gaze from afar, watching him spar with various Varden soldiers. She would not lie to herself and claim that she did not watch the way his muscles moved under his taut skin. Her eyes would be drawn to such movements. She reckoned it was unbearably shallow and, even more so, folly, but it felt good to loosen the ties of the Varden which burdened her back. Just this once.
But she wasn't always the only one watching.
At first, it was unassuming. Practically childish. But then she began to notice. When she would excuse herself from a long-winded political exercise inside her tent, she would sit nearby and look upon the soldiers, him too, and pass the time. But when her eyes landed upon the elven princess's, it struck a deep, unwavering chord in her heart. And it pained her so.
Arya's eyes would land upon Murtagh, but Nasuada it was for a slightly longer time than with the others, Eragon included. It didn't bother her at first, as she thought it was just any other glance. But she became more persistent and catching the elf's object of interest, which was always and inevitably Murtagh.
She supposed that's where the jealousy was conceived.
It would be later when Murtagh betrayed the Varden, and even more later when Nasuada would see him again. But when she did, it was on the battlefield. She may not have been in the battle herself, but her eyes could see it from her safe house. And she would digress, then brighten dispassionately when Murtagh made his appearance once more after his departure. And Eragon would wince and do battle with him.
And afterward, when the last dregs of soldiers had been either killed or removed from the field, she would see Murtagh again, his grand red dragon, Thorn, beside him. Arya had appeared from no where, stepping closer to him. They held a particularly energized staring match before Murtagh smiled, leaning against her. Arya put her arms around his neck, possessive and curt in her way of doing so. Murtagh had whispered something in her ear, Nasuada recalled.
And that was when her transgressions came to a pronounced head, and Nasuada knew that she had lost the war.
Ahhh, just a short little thing, I know. I haven't reread the Inheritance Cycle in a while so forgive me if I don't know my facts... I will get on it before writing any more unless it's just another half-assed one shot.