Pretty Boy Villains Club

Author's Note: You know how this goes….I don't own no one you know.

Somewhere in Japan….

Aizen: *sipping tea* Sooo….thanks for meeting me here today. You like tea? Clears the mind.

Tsuki: I'll pass but thanks anyway. So…what did you invite me here for exactly?

Aizen: How did you do it?

Tsuki: ?

Aizen: Ever since the damn series started, I've thought of ways to fuck over the Kurosaki kid. Screwed Soul Society over and showed them…though if it weren't for the goddamn troll, Urahara Kisuke, I would've gotten away with it! But you come in here with your Book and ruin Kurosaki Ichigo's life.

Tsuki: Sorry, man. Didn't mean to upstage you!

Aizen: What's your secret? I mean…seriously? I WANT THAT MOTHERFUCKER DEAD.

Tsuki: You really wanna know?

Aizen: YES. I need a good way to destroy the Gotei, reclaim the throne of the Soul King, stand on top of the Heavens and most importantly, find a new way to troll people until the next century.

Tsuki: It's my full bring, you see. I can pretty much insert myself into anyone's memories into whatever way I want them to see me. So….I just stabbed all of Ichigo's friends and family, made myself look super awesome and now I have everyone working for me. And Ichigo's probably going to loose everything.

Aizen: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. FUCK THAT SHIT. My Kyoka Sugistesu is quite similar to making someone's reality different.

Tsuki: Yeah…but it helps me in certain departments too.

Ikumi: *walking by* Hey Tsukishima-san! Looking good there!

Tatsuki: Tsukishima….here's that game I said I'd let you have

Yuzu: Shuu-chan Shuu-chan, are you coming to my ceremony! Please say you'd come!

Orihime: *holding a bag of bread* Here Tsukishima-kun…..I baked this just for you. Oh….hi Aizen.

Tsuki: Thanks Inoue! I'm sure I'll enjoy it! *waves to the girls* Thanks guys! Come by the mansion later! It's Movie Night!

Aizen: …..Goddamn you.

Tsuki:

Aizen: Well…guess what? I'm immortal.

Tsuki: That was really lame by the way. A butterfly…REALLY? And what was with the Condom getup? Man, you looked like something out of a really bad Lady Gaga video…

Aizen: I planned everything for a muthafuckin' century while you were nothing but a thought in your grandma's head!

Tsuki: I got everyone single one of Kurosaki Ichigo's allies. Even his own sisters. And my own comrades. Probaly gonna kill them all…especially that Ginjou. He's a moron but I can't leave no witnesses.

Aizen: HA. You haven't meet Kurosaki Isshin yet!

Tsuki: I ain't scared. I'll just change him too. And that Urahara guy. And even Rukia.

Aizen: …*pissed*

Tsuki: I'll win. I won't turn into some lameass butterfly.

Aizen: OH HELL NO! *brings out zanpakuto* While I salute you in your efforts as villian in this arc, there's only one Big Bad around here. Got it? I'm the only one who's allowed to kill anyone around here…not you…not that big oaf…not even Kurosaki Ichigo. Understood?

Tsuki: Sorry dude, but I can't promise anything. *smiling* I'm only getting started. Right now…this is too much fun watching everyone defend me and think Ichigo's a psychopath.

Aizen: *laughs* Yeah it is fun right? Like when I blew up Urahara, Isshin and that damn catwoman, you should've seen Ichigo's face! It was soooooooooooooooooo funny….

Tsuki: Actually…I have a confession to make. That wasn't Kurosaki you see. When I sat next to you, I think my Bookmark pricked you…..*sweat drop* So that was actually me that defeated you.

Aizen: …..OH GODDAMIT IT! YOU SON OF A- *stops* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH…by the way? I have a confession too. You know about the Inoue girl? *leans in closer* She kinda gets around ifuknowwutimean. *smiles* SEE YA!

And with that, lunch ended as Tsuki wisely ran away….

The idea for this came from various little things I wrote on different sites. If enough people like this one, I'll write more.