Prologue
"Promise me. Promise me that you'll come back." He looked at me, really looked at me. His blue eyes softened for a second as he met my eyes then they took on the stony determination that I knew so well.
"I promise," he said.
I nodded. My arms were crossed stiffly on my chest as if my body were trying to comfort itself, trying to keep me together. I couldn't cry in front of him. I refused to. He had wanted this. He was the one who volunteered. I looked at the ground unable to match his gaze, held myself tighter, and bit my lip. I welcomed the distance between us. He didn't move to comfort me.
At that time, we had told ourselves the same thing, that it wasn't goodbye.
Now he was dying, being eaten alive by Capitol mutts, and all I could do was watch from a screen miles away. No amount of our training prepared us for this moment. None of it could save either of us right now.
Someone told me to close my eyes, but I didn't. I couldn't. I watched as the District Twelve girl raised her bow, as she aimed, and as the arrow left her hands. I heard the cannon go off. I pictured the light leaving his eyes, a brilliant blue going dull. When the winners were announced, I still hadn't turned away from the screen. But I hadn't been watching either. All I could think about was that he had lost the Games and that I had lost him.