Dying was definitely not the same for everyone.
Quite frankly, the whole thing annoyed Gabriel to an extent that he could not even properly describe. Death varied on religion, or lack of. Not everyone went to heaven for the simple reason that not everyone believed in heaven. If you did make it to heaven, well, even at that, Gabriel wasn't so sure that he considered it such a big deal anyway. Heaven had been good once, before Lucifer fell, and sometime between world war two ending and the Winchester boys screwing things up royally. Sure, they had, in their terms, "saved the world" but at what cost? Look at the tumble of side effects that had come from it. Of course, not even Gabriel really knew what would have happened if everything had turned out the way God had originally wanted. It scared him, that they had almost gotten to that point.
But anyway, back to death.
Just as it was different for humans, death didn't exactly apply to angels and gods, no matter what religion you belonged to. The fact of it was, for angels anyway, death was temporary. Sure, Lucifer had killed him, but angels can't stay dead. Some take a few thousand years to get reborn, but the powerful ones regenerated faster, Gabriel being one of them. And when he had come back from the dead, born again in all his glory, well he wished he would have stayed dead.
The world was a freaking mess.
Gabriel had come to a year after the Winchesters had been wiped off the planet. Well, wiped was the wrong word. More like brought down by their own demise, that summed up the situation better. The Winchesters were taken down by the only thing that could take them down, each other. Gabriel didn't know the entire story, but the short version involved the mark of Cain and Dean becoming a demon. If that wasn't a plot twist worthy of the trickster himself, nothing was. Dean as a demon took a toll not only on Sam, but on Dean's actual soul, which, Gabriel thought was very odd that it was still intact. He had never thought of demons that way, with their human part still stuck inside, yelling and screaming for air. But he was, and human soul Dean had managed to scrape his way to the surface for just a moment and killed himself...or Sam killed him in mercy, because Dean begged. Gabriel never really listened to complete stories, but the point of it was, that Dean had died at the hand of a Winchester, either his own or his brother. What he did know was that Sam Winchester had committed suicide, but only after killing Crowley. Gabriel knew those boys and God if they could not live for each other, they would not want to live at all. Dean would not want to live as a demon, and Sam was at a point where he could not live without Dean, no matter what he tried to make everyone else believe.
At this point in time, heaven was already disbanded, but when the Winchesters were pronounced dead, Castiel fell apart.
It was that, oddly, that made God return and reclaim heaven.
No one knew how or why, but the moment Castiel gave up, God seemed to get his bravery back. He took heaven and put back soldiers and even went into hell to get Michael back.
Unfortunately, when God did that Lucifer took his chance to make his own escape, and the world crumbled quickly after. God did not interfere, but he sent his angels to fight. Most of them lost, some of them joined Lucifer. Michael's army was holding its own, but all in all, the world had gone to shit without "Team Free Will" protecting it.
That's what brought Gabriel to God's throne room that day. Balthazar, another reborn and missed brother was on his right hand side, a few paces back. They were there with a plan, one that they both knew God would have trouble refusing, because if there was one angel God loved as much as he had once loved Lucifer, it was Castiel. Castiel had changed the world.
But now it was Castiel who was changed. Gabriel had to save him.
Neither Gabriel or Balthazar could look up at God, mostly because his true form was so intense it could blind the angels. So they stared at the floor but Gabriel made sure that his confidence was inflating him, as per usual.
"Father," Gabriel said strongly. "I have something very important to discuss with you."
"Has something happened on Earth?" God didn't really have a voice, or maybe he did, but Gabriel only heard God in his head, their angel radio.
"No, it's about Castiel. He's only getting worse, as the days go by..." he hesitated but decided that the truth, no matter how ugly it was, would have to come out. "I think he's going to try and rip out his halo."
God was quiet for a while, and Balthazar shifted. Ripping out an angel's halo was worse than grace. Sure, a grace can turn them human, but taking an angel's halo away, that was true death. Like Gabriel knew, dying was different for angels. Stab them with an angel sword, take away their grace, but angels they remain on the inside, rebirth is inevitable. Taking away a halo from an angel not only turned them human, but old age would catch up with them and death would follow. There is no rebirth after that. But the taking of the halo was something so...so...utterly wrong, that not even Lucifer had attempted to take one from an angel. No angel had the heart to do that. Castiel wanted to follow his boys into the afterlife.
"Castiel would do no such thing." God said finally.
"Castiel will kill himself." Gabriel continued. "He is diminishing in front of me, like a human who was starving."
"Angels do not need to eat."
"Exactly, but there he goes anyway, getting skinner and looking so unhealthy. Angels shouldn't get sick, but Castiel...Father, he will die. I truly believe that."
God was impatient. "What would you have me do, Gabriel?" but the tone of his voice suggested that he hoped Gabriel had a plan, because if they lost Castiel, the faith of the angels would get lost with him. No matter what he had done, Castiel had been this odd shining light for all of them, despite his mistakes. All he had ever tried to do was help, help heaven, help himself, help humans, and help the Winchesters. And Dean. God was blind to it maybe, but Gabriel and Balthazar weren't. Everything Castiel did, he did for Dean.
"Balthazar and I were thinking, and we came up with something that can help Castiel and the world." Gabriel said carefully. Before God could ask what, and before Gabriel could lose his courage, he went on quickly. "Bring the Winchesters back to life."
God's tone suggested that he was not surprised Gabriel had asked him of this. "I cannot do that. They chose to take their lives; it is not my decision to bring them back."
"No, it's not." Gabriel agreed. "I've taken that decision into my own selfish hands, for my brother, who will follow them if we do not do this."
God sighed irritably. "Castiel lives in heaven, he can simply visit the Winchesters whenever he likes in their heaven."
But it was not that easy, not that Gabriel could even try explaining that to their father. Sure, Cas could waltz around through the different versions of heaven, looking for Dean and Sam, and when he would find them, then what? He would have a chat with their souls? Castiel hadn't tried, for one thing, he didn't know if Dean's soul was in heaven, having died as a demon and what would he say to Sam if he found him? What would Castiel say to the man who had to watch his brother die, killed himself and was now stuck in heaven without his brother? No, Castiel could not face that.
"Our world was never better protected than when the Winchesters were doing the protecting." Gabriel said. "No one can deny that. They are strong, and we will help them, Balthazar, Castiel and I. Michael too, if he gets his head out of his−"
Balthazar cleared his throat. Oddly, it was always sarcastic, blunt Balthazar that knew when to rein Gabriel back in. "Father," he said, in his lovely, smooth, accent voice. "We will stop Lucifer if you let us, but we need the Winchesters. The world needs the Winchesters."
"Oh," Gabriel grinned. "We're also here to ask for Chuck Shurley."
"The prophet?" God asked, surprised, but a warm admiration was clear in his tone. The angels weren't stupid, even though the Winchesters were, they knew that God had used Chuck for his needs, not as a vessel, but he had given Chuck so much more power than he had to the other prophets. Chuck was God's favorite human. "Why him?"
"He had a way with the Winchesters and Castiel."
"Many did." God said. "I cannot bring back every single person the Winchesters loved. Bobby Singer, the Harvells, their parents, Kevin. You ask much of me."
"We're only asking for Chuck." Balthazar said. "When Dean was thrown into the future, Castiel and Chuck were by his side."
"They all died in that future."
"Sam was Lucifer in that future," Balthazar continued. "Now he is not. Now he has us too, and he will have Chuck, that is the one piece of the future that we want to keep."
"You ask much of me, my sons."
"Actually we don't," Gabriel said with a smirk. "We've never asked you for anything, neither of us. Castiel has asked, and you have never answered him. You let him claw his way to truth and he has only ever found despair. Now it is your turn to help us, Castiel cannot help himself."
God sighed again. "He did love those boys more than his own brothers." he mumbled. "You were supposed to love each other, all of you. The Winchesters changed everything."
Gabriel almost snorted, he had no idea just how much Castiel loved a certain Winchester.
"I will grant it to you." he said. "Take Castiel to earth, to their grave sites. They will be there waiting, and will wake when he gets to them. As for Chuck...he will stumble across you."
"Thank you Father." Gabriel smiled gratefully.
"Gabriel, Balthazar...I'm counting on you two."
Gabriel and Balthazar bowed their heads before hurrying out of the throne room, transporting themselves immediately to where Castiel was. He was in the same place he was every day, in his version of heaven, which was now an old house and a junkyard, sitting on the roof of the same Impala that the Winchesters had driven. This was Castiel's heaven.
Except he looked like he was in hell.
He sat on that rooftop with a bunch of books around him that he never read, but they were all reminders to him of Sam, that great tall giraffe who always had his head in a book. But in this heaven, it was not the Impala, or Bobby's house or the books that made Castiel looked like less of himself, it was what he wore. He kept the tie and the white shirt, but had removed his trench coat which had fallen to the floor and had wished of heaven a replica of Dean's jacket, the exact one he had worn when they had first met. Castiel would have looked small in it anyway, but now that he was all skin and bones, he looked like a homeless man in something someone had handed to him to keep him warm. His hair was dirty and messy, his eyes had prominent circles under them, and they were always red his eyes, always crying.
His wings.
His gorgeous white wings were just as sad as he was. They drooped pathetically over the impala to the ground; they hadn't lifted themselves in days. The y were even losing their feathers.
Angels could not get hungry or sick, but Castiel was dying.
An angel dying in heaven.
Gabriel and Balthazar didn't take out their wings, mostly because they didn't want Castiel to feel bad about them, all shiny and white.
"Cas," Balthazar said sadly. "Cas, we're here with good news."
Castiel looked up at them like he didn't know who they were. He looked so unbelievably sad that it stumped Gabriel for a moment, Gabriel who always had something to say. "I was just thinking..." Castiel said softly. "Of when..." he quickly brushed two fat tears that rolled out of his eyes. "Of when I told them−" (Castiel was sure never to say their names, Gabriel suspected he could not bear it. "−I was going to be a hunter. He...He wasn't angry, even though he often looked like he was...he was always just so worried." he smiled sadly, his lips shaking. "I think he wanted me there, but was afraid of looking after someone else. His brother was already on his mind, all the time. He wanted to help me as much as I wanted to help him though; he tried to make me a good hunter."
"Cas," Balthazar said sadly. "Cas, we spoke to Father."
"Oh?" No, 'what did Lucifer do now', or 'oh, what are our orders', just 'oh'. That was how much Castiel did not care about anything anymore.
"Cas, he's going to bring them back." he said softly.
Castiel shook his head, closing his eyes. He huddled inwards, pulling the jacket tighter around him. "Please don't tease me, not now."
That hurt them both a little; that he thought his brothers would stoop that low for a prank. Not now, not like this.
Gabriel nodded. "He told us that if we go to their grave, they will be waiting. They will wake up when you get there." Because honestly, the Winchesters wouldn't want to wake up for anyone besides Castiel, and Castiel wasn't going to live for anyone besides the Winchesters.
He looked up at them with hope this time, but a fearful hope, one that tore both of his brother's hearts. It was so pathetically heartbreaking, to see this immortal man look up at those words like he was being given his first breath of fresh air. Like this is what he had been waiting for, like...well, like his reason to live had just been handed to him.
"Are you ready to go get them?" Balthazar asked him kindly, a bit too kindly that it made Gabriel uncomfortable, but he suspected that once Castiel was better and the Winchesters were alive, he would be back to his normal self.
"Yes." Castiel breathed out, exhaling, as though he had been holding his breath in for a year.
The three brothers took each other's hands. In an instant, wings out and but seconds later they had transported themselves to Bobby's Singer's old and wrecked home. It was oddly untouched despite Lucifer's apocalypse, this one place.
When they had died, right before Castiel made his way to heaven and into solitude, Castiel had burned the bodies and buried the ashes, putting crosses and marking their graves. It was a very weird thing to do, Gabriel thought anyway, but Castiel went on and on, talking about angry spirits and death wishes. Gabriel also didn't understand why he didn't bury them in a cemetery rather than some random old space behind Bobby's house, but Castiel insisted that the boys needed to be buried by their home. Gabriel didn't ever remember them living here, but he had stayed out of it. That was all he knew, of the one time he had asked Castiel what happened.
None of it mattered now.
Lying on the ground, looking brand freaking new, were Dean and Sam Winchester. The moment the angels landed on the ground, the brother's eyes snapped open. Dean's green eyes met with Castiel's blue ones, and the first words Cas heard him speak in a year were,
"Son of a bitch."
Well I hoped you guys enjoyed it, I have to say, I really enjoyed writing it. I'm excited for this story. Please, if you liked it, tell me, I love to hear what you guys liked, disliked, or if you had your heart broken. I always respond in my next chapter, because I love interacting with you all.
Disclaimer: I own only words, nothing more.