Well. I've no idea where the hell this came from. Turned out to fit the drabble theme for Dues Ex Machina... I... Think...
It also gave me the opportunity to try something new.
This is to be taken as seriously as a drunk clown or Jersey Shore... :P
So enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. Or Sozin... Or his dragon... I guess I own the general dude... Yeah... I own him. His name is George.
Sozin looked down at the Air Temple, waiting for the comet to arrive. He could feel the slight breeze against his face as he floated above the target, on his dragon waiting for the right moment to attack. Sozin's mind was racing as the promise of unlimited power crept into his thoughts once again. A smile made its way across his face. He noticed the sun sinking below the horizon and descended down on the temple below. He noticed the first wave of firebenders attack the temple. He shot a few fire blasts ahead of his army as he swooped past them. Sozin smirked as the temple began to go up in flames. He used firebending to block and potential exits. Sozin looked behind him to see an odd light in the sky. He smiled. The comet had arrived.
Sozin quickly dismounted his dragon and took his place in front of his troops. He closed his eyes and let the energy flow through his veins. He opened his eyes and quickly thrust his right arm forward, ready to feel an endless sea of fire burst into life in front of him. Nothing but the usual amount of fire erupted from his outstretched arm. He looked to the comet in confusion as his men did the same. The sky was a deep dark blue dotted with skies. There was a steady streak of bluish white that slowly made its way across the night sky.
Sozin roared in frustration. "Why isn't the comet working?" He looked angrily to his men to see if they had an answer. They all shrank back. Sozin turned quickly around to see a line of frightened and wounded monks staring at him. "Why?" He shouted to the sky. "This comet is supposed to have the power of a thousand suns! It's completely worthless!" Suddenly a piece of paper fluttered gently down from the sky and landed in Sozin's hand.
Sozin inspected the piece of paper that made its way to him. He turned it over in his hands cautiously as if it were some sort of trap. He eyed the paper and noticed that it had a picture of some kittens in the lower right corner. He looked at the paper and began to read it.
Dear Fire Lord Sozin,
As you may have already observed, your fancy comet doesn't enhance your firebending. In fact, it just makes for a fancy light show that you decided to share with those airbenders you almost incinerated. Scientifically speaking, Mr. Fire Lord, comets are made from ice and rock. There's no fire at all. None at all. So, to put it shortly, you've been fooled, or mistaken, or however you want to put it. There is no physically possible way for your firebending to become drastically more powerful unless your sun magically turns into a red giant. If it does do that, you and your entire planet will be incinerated, and that would put your plan to comet nuke the Air Nomads to shame. In short Fire Lord Sozin, Comet = Rock + Ice. Not fire. Have a nice day.
Lovingly,
Luna
Sozin stared blankly at the letter. He looked to his troops and back to the letter. The bewildered Fire Lord looked behind to see the airbenders. He looked down to the letter. "So…" He paused. "This thing states that the comet is a lie! As in, I've wasted time, money, resources and my credibility on a flying hunk of ice and rock!" Sozin looked angrily down at the paper and began to rip it to shreds while burning it.
The Fire Lord glared at the airbenders as his face turned into a sneer. Suddenly Sozin fired a few fire blasts into the crowd of monks who easily deflected it. The angry firebender grew more furious as the airbenders gained more confidence from his miscalculation. "Why won't you all die!" Sozin roared furiously at the monks.
Sozin raged while another piece of paper floated gently down in front of his face. He grabbed the paper and read it, almost charring the pastel kittens in the corner.
Dear Fire Lord Sozin,
Considering your comet plan failed, I see you're still trying to kill off the airbenders. Obviously they and your troops know that this isn't going the way you planned it. So on behalf of well, the world population, stop taking out your anger about the fact that Roku dumped you on the Air Nomads. The world would appreciate it greatly. Have a nice day.
Lovingly,
Luna
Sozin heaved a heavy sigh and crumpled up the paper. He set fire to the ball and tossed it haphazardly behind him. Sozin raised his arm high to signal for his dragon. Soon the great beast rushed down and Sozin mounted his back. One of his generals rushed up to him.
"Your highness, what are you doing? What about the comet?" The general looked up to the ancient Fire Lord.
Sozin shrugged. "I'm going home. I'm going to finally get around to making an heir, and then I'm going to bed."
Again the general spoke. "What do you want us to do, sir?" Sozin looked from the Fire Army to the Air Nomads and shrugged. Soon the massive dragon took to the sky and flew towards the direction of the Fire Nation.
Meanwhile, Sozin's Comet flew harmlessly across the night sky.