Disclaimer: No ownership implied with the use of Darkwing Duck and associated characters; any dues belong to Disney. Whoever heard of an alphanumeric barcode like 'VAPX007' having a bank account anyway?

Return of the Mad Plant Scientist

PRECURSOR (One Month Earlier)

Happy New Year

It was January. Post boxing day shopping and both the Christmas and sales madness had finally subdued. Finally, Doctor Reginald Bushroot had dared to step out of his icehouse.

The deep freeze feeling was keen as Bushroot walked into the warmth of the air-conditioned indoor mall, trying to warm his head up enough to start thinking properly again. It'd been weeks since he'd been able to think enough to remember what 'Zn' stood for on the periodic table. He needed to remember what it was, because whatever it was, he'd run out of it three weeks ago and its absence from his dwindling fertilizer supply probably had something to do with his yellowing leaves and lack of energy.

Right now all Bushroot wanted to do was warm up enough to remember what Zn meant and then to stock up on it so he went about the stores, looking at all the left over discount tickets and ended up in the Fur, Feathers and All department store.

Along three aisles into the distance, he saw someone familiar.

"Megs?" Bushroot passed by a mother and daughter mouse in the shoe section and between two teenage girl ducks in the jersey section, past a half stacked trolley full of discounted Christmas trimmings and cards and then stopped beside his old friend. "Megavolt?"
The startled rat spun around on the spot, hearing his name. "Wha-who?" He blinked, "Bushy?"
"Fancy meeting you in a department store." Bushroot commented. "Keeping warm for a while, huh?" Bushroot asked. "Me too."
"All this cold weather's a real drain on the electrical grid. Everyone's trying to keep warm."
"Sure. At least there are not so many wood burning stoves in the city."

Megavolt reached up behind Bushroot and pulled something down from the shelf. "No, that's ridiculous." He shook the thing and it rattled. "I didn't realise it would be this difficult." Megavolt said with a sigh and put the box back on the shelf.

"What're you looking for?" Bushroot asked his friend.
"Looking?" Megavolt turned from him and grabbed the handle to the contraption parked by his side. He pushed it down the aisle. "Whatever it is there doesn't seem to be much here ..."

'What's that?' Bushroot reconsidered the blue plastic wheeled thing with his frozen, stuffy head that Megavolt was pushing. 'It's a trolley.'

"Oh, look, now that's better." Megavolt crossed the small space and grabbed another box. In it, there were a few twisted pipes with beads on it. Putting it on the already overcrowded seat of the trolley drew Megavolt's attention back to the contraption. "This thing's not very big; there's no place to put anything." Megavolt complained.
"Why don't you get a bigger trolley then, Megs?" Bushroot suggested, "And then you can put more stuff in it."
"That's a great idea, Bushy." Megavolt flashed a smile at Bushroot and then started hauling the blue trolley backwards up the aisle.

"Megs ..." Bushroot followed his friend as they went to a stack of trolleys in the aisle next tier up, "Did you cause the blackout on Christmas night?"
"Huh? Blackout? There was a blackout?"
"All the lights went off for half of St. Canard."
"And you naturally think that I'm the cause? I'll have you know that I've been crime free for months. Why are they all just blue or pink?"

"Electricity is your favourite thing. You could be."
Megavolt grimaced at Bushroot. "I could be what? Pink?"
Bushroot stopped as Megavolt stared back at him with a confused look on his face. "I suppose if suddenly all the plants in St Canard went on a protest march one day people would think it was my doing too."
"You're right of course. Could be pink. Equally, it could be blue. Questions, questions! ... and I just don't know the answer!"

"Here." Bushroot spied a blue, red and green tartan trolley at the back of the stack and pulled it out. "It's the official SCU tartan." He recognised the pattern.
"Oh, Bushy! You've solved my problem!" Megavolt opened out the tartan double sized trolley and rolled it back and forwards for a moment absently. "But I haven't been to St Canard University."
Bushroot smiled, "You don't have to be alumni to support our local university, Megs. And besides; the tag on the other double trolley has a picture of two mice sitting in a giant pink love heart on a red background with white polka dots."
"Yeah-okay-I'll-take-this-one." Megavolt was suddenly quite possessive of the tartan trolley. "This one's great! It'll fit much more stuff in it. It's double ... spaced. Or something."

Bushroot rubbed his stuffed up head as he read the label. "It says 'twin carriage' ... I've forgotten my question."
"Oh, I'm beat." Megavolt yawned. "The pipe frame is a lot sturdier on this one. Good thinking, Bushy." He transferred the few boxes into the back seat: the pipe and beads contraption, a metal slinky and a three dimensional wooden puzzle. The last one caused Bushroot a twinge of heartache for the deceased oak wood.
"Megs, that-that's wood that's-."
"-And who is providing the light in here?" Megavolt retaliated.
"Sorry." Bushroot apologised.

"Alright, so what was it I came into the shops to do? Boy do I need a coffee-that's what I came here for-a coffee!" Megavolt said a little more brightly, looking around. "It's time to say 'hello' to the coffee shop lady. Wanna join me, Bushy?"
Bushroot shrugged. "Sure," he followed his friend to the checkouts, "b-but I can't drink the stuff."

In a short few minutes they were standing in the coffee shop adjacent to the department store.
"Long tall, thanks."
"Uh, warm water please." Bushroot smiled hesitantly at the teenager behind the register with the bubble-gum pink bangs.
"That'll be five-ninety five."

Megavolt waved his card and the machine beeped.

"We'll bring it out to you." The barista attendant shoved a number at them without giving them a second glance. "Please take a seat."

Bushroot reasoned it was because Megavolt had 'reformed' and was no longer a super villain that he could find such easy service. "How is life not being a super villain?" He asked his friend as they picked a table that bordered onto the walking strip.
"Well, you know." Megavolt shrugged as they sat down. "It's regularly chaotic, occasionally dramatic and a touch perilous. Or was that regularly dramatic and occasionally chaotic? Or was that occasionally perilous and a touch chaotic? No. Wait. Sorry." Megavolt laughed giddily. "That's marriage! You weren't asking me about my marriage. Silly me!"

He blinked, his smile disappearing, "Uh, what were you asking me about again, Bushy?"
"Um ..." Bushroot blinked back at Megavolt. "I'm too cold to remember."
"You should move to Nebraska then." Megavolt advised.
"Nebraska?"
"Arbour Day."
"What has that got to do with winter?"
"Winter?" Megavolt frowned in puzzlement. "When were we talking about winter?"
Bushroot scratched his head. "I don't know."

The waiting attendant placed the drinks on the table in front of Bushroot and Megavolt.

"Thank you." Bushroot looked thankfully up at the tall girl in black uniform and apron. She was already on her way to another table with another drink still on her tray and didn't even hear his 'thank you'.

Sitting in the chair, his leafy fingers wrapped around his warm water, Bushroot was in a much happier place at the little cafe onside the Fur, Feathers, and All store.

"Plastic." Megavolt shook his head.
"What's wrong with plastic?"
"Nearly everything seems to be made of plastic these days. You only have to give it a little zap and it melts. That's so unbelievably impractical."
"Y-yes, I guess that's a downside."

Megavolt sipped his coffee. Bushroot tried to see inside his friend's mind but had to pull back from the mix mash of images and equations that spun around half-formed and sluggish like a blue slushy drink. "Are-are you alright, Megs?" Bushroot asked worriedly.
"What a rush!" Megavolt suddenly giggled hysterically and sank against the table into his hands.
"I-I think you need to go back to bed. I don't get it, but m-maybe you've had too much electricity."
Megavolt yawned again. "I'm completely run down."
"Maybe you need a plug in then?" Bushroot offered helpfully.
"No!" Megavolt sat up straight with a look of alarm on his face. "Too much, much too much!" He grabbed his coffee and guzzled half of it down. He continued to sit up straight for several more moments before collapsing back over the table.

Bushroot gazed at Megavolt as he sipped his warm water. After a few minutes, he looked over at Megavolt's purchases from the department store. It was a tartan coloured two-seater pram. In it were four glass baby bottles, a metal slinky, a couple chunky wooden jigsaw puzzles, a puzzle cube, a metal ring puzzle set, and a picture book on a character called 'Squishy the Squirrel'.
Bushroot gaped at Megavolt for a long moment. "Uh, congratulations."
Megavolt stirred from the table and grabbed his coffee cup. "What for?"
"Uh, you and Felicia are having a baby?"
"We are?" Megavolt jolted upright in his seat with a look of shock on his face. "Why would she tell you and not me?"
Bushroot glanced back at the pram. "No, I ... was taking a guess."

"Oh." Megavolt sighed and finished his coffee. "Don't scare me like that. Hey." Megavolt pointed at Bushroot. "You're looking a bit yellow. Almost white. And your eyes are a weak grey colour. And half your petals have fallen out."
"Yeah." Bushroot sighed, "Interveinal chlorosis. I'm missing Zn whatever that is."
"Zinc." Megavolt stood up, "You need zinc. Come on, it'll be in the health food aisle."
"B-but you're all run down."

"Wrong." Megavolt pointed to himself, "I've just had coffee. I'm on my way back up. Plus I need to get milk since yesterday the shops were closed." He frowned.
"How did you remember that all of a sudden?"
"Well, this is my first coffee of the day." He grabbed the handles of the stroller. "This reminds me of the black coffee I couldn't drink this morning." He shuddered. "Black coffee! It's horrible!"
"Right." Bushroot decided. "I'll help you to remember the milk while we're in the supermarket."
"Thanks, Bushy." Megavolt smiled back at him. "You should probably dose up on iron too. Ooh, and magnesium! Definitely magnesium."
"B-but you don't know anything about plants."
"Oh, but I'm going to be a dad, you know, and dad's just know these things, and it's not as if you're going to eat a steak, now come on!"

Megavolt paused and turned back to Bushroot. "Unless you want to eat a steak. Coz, you know, the meat aisle is on the other side of the store. And as a dad I would prefer my kids to eat proper meat over pharmaceutical products."
Bushroot shook his head. "I don't think that my digestive-."
"Well, great, come on then!"

A/n: Okay, so how's that for a New Year's treat?