Maura was standing in the middle of Jane's living room. Her soft green eyes were pointed in direction of the woman standing a few feet in front of her. Maura closed the gap. She was close enough to take in her friend's scent. Hoyt was right, Jane did smell like lavender and fear. Maura was studying Jane's face and brought her hand to Jane's cheeks. She could fee Jane's jaw tense under her light touch.
"Have you done this before?" Jane asked. "Of course" Maura smiled "I've had a lot of practice. Maura's face turned into a slight smile as she continued to inch her face and the rest of her body closer to her friend.
Jane let out a soft, exaggerated breath that was mixed with a laugh. They were close enough now that Jane's exhale tickled Maura's nose.
"I never thought you'd be my first though" Maura added.
"Hey!" Jane whined clearly taking offense to that statement. "I-I" she began, but stopped and then let out a large, frustrated huff.
"Stay still!" Maura demanded as she tightened her grip on Jane's face to reinforce her point.
"Yes, Doctor." Jane quipped.
Maura inched forward, her nose just inches from Jane's. She realized that they were sharing the same air, taking in each other's breaths. Maura thought it was a very beautiful and intimate moment. She took another second to appreciate the moment before she adjusted her fingers and applied pressure to her friend's face.
"OW!" Jane screamed after feeling the pain behind the snap. "Hurts even more the second time around." She rubbed her already swelling nose.
"Ice for the next 2-" Maura began.
"-4 hours. I know the drill. I remember from last time. Thanks again, Maura." Jane smiled. She headed towards the kitchen but was stopped when by Maura's hands gripping her arm.
"Jane," Maura sighed in a way that made Jane melt. But, it also signaled that Maura was about to open up, reveal something that she has been holding inside her for so long but is only just now able to say it. "Please try to be more careful." She finished with a gentle exhale and placed herself down on Jane's couch. Clearly needing a moment, Jane returned to her task of getting ice and left Maura alone on the couch. She returned in a flash and plopped herself on the couch, long arms and legs sprawling across the expanse of the couch. Jane quickly turned her body and placed her head on the arm rest and extended her legs over Maura's lap. Jane reached one hand to her own face and dropped the ice on her nose with a gentle plop. She folded her hands and rested them on her stomach. She closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened to see Maura's eyes closed, her hands gently hovering over Jane's knees which Jane had just placed there. Jane studied her friend's face for a moment and then shifted to move her knees from her friends lap. At the movement, Maura's eyes shot open and her hands dropped to Jane's knees gripping her knee caps.
"I'm sorry- I can move" Jane tried to move her knees from under Maura's surprisingly strong grip but was stopped again by the medical examiner's hands on her knees.
"No. Keep them there. Please."
Jane noted that that was the second time that Maura had begged, pleaded even, for her to do something. The first was to be careful, the second was to stay. Jane thought a moment about what she was going to say but was interrupted when Maura blurted out "I just need know that you are here right now. You are physically here. Right now. With me. I know it sounds weird and doesn't make any sense, but I am comforted feeling you right now."
Jane knew something was up and without taking a moment to try to figure out the doctor's complicated thoughts herself she went straight to the source. Jane sat up, her arms now behind her back, holding herself upright as she sat upright looking at the doctor.
"Maura," she reached a hand to Maura's back and started to gently rub circles across the doctor's small expanse "what is wrong?" By now, Maura had her hands covering her face. At the touch of Jane's hands to her back she took in two rapid breaths and started to gently sob. Jane immediately reacted. She moved closer to her friend and brought her hands to Maura's and gently pulled them down and into her lap. She tightened her grip on Maura's hands and bent her head slightly so that she could look Maura right in the eye. "Maura, tell me what is wrong. I'll do anything I can to make it right, you know I hate seeing you cry." Maura's sobs slightly increased and Jane tried again to move her legs but was once again stopped by the increasingly fierce grip of the medical examiner's hands.
"Jane, please" she began and Jane noted that that was the third time "Jane just- sit with me. I told you that I just needed to feel you here with my right now. Is that okay? Can you do that for me? Just be here, please" she sobbed and Jane mentally added a fourth tally mark. "I ha-hate when you get hurt. You put yourself in danger everyday and I-I just have this image of you being a super hero- and I know it doesn't make any sense- but-but when you get hurt, it's just a reminder that you are human and-and you aren't invincible. I worry, Jane, I worry about you everyday you leave for a call. I-I pace around the morgue, I twitch, I-I fidget, Jane I never fidget!" Maura paused and breathed and noticed that she was spinning her ring around her finger. Her own reminder that she is human. She stopped spinning and looked right in Jane's deep brown eyes that were both teary from her sudden outburst and confused by it. So, she began again, "I'm sorry, Jane. I didn't mean for this to all come out. It's just that, I-I saw you shoot yourself." The reminder made Jane wince and she sat up as the verbal reminder sent a spark to her scar. "I saw you take that last breath before you slipped into unconsciousness. I was in the ambulance on the way to the hospital when you flat-lined. I was holding your hand and I felt it lose it's beat, it went limp in my hand Jane. My strong, personal super hero, died in my hand and I couldn't do anything about it." Maura finished sobbing, it was full fledged tears right now. Both of them were crying on the couch. Jane realized how ridiculous the scene must have looked but that did not stop her from grabbing the doctor by her shoulders and into an embrace.
"Maura, look at me" Jane started, her voice extra raspy with the added emotion of tears falling from both of their faces "I'm not super woman, Maura. Everyone has a kyroptonite, mine just happens to be a self-inflicted bullet to the chest." Jane laughed "I'm sorry, Maura. I'm right here. With you. Right now. I'm not going anywhere. I will always be here okay. Nothing is going to take me from you! Not even a bullet to the chest! What can I do to help you feel better?" Jane smiled as she pulled back from the hug. Maura rose her face and Jane brought her hands to it and began wiping the tears from the delicate cheeks of the medical examiner.
Maura smiled "Just hold me, please." Jane again internally added a fifth tally mark. Jane opened her arms and whispered "Come here." The two friends were once again embracing, each woman was smiling as they felt the familiar comfort of the other one in their arms. Jane slowly dropped her body back onto the couch and gently dragged the medical examiner down with her. Her head returned to it's previous spot on the arm rest. She lay flat on her back with her arms wrapped tightly around the smaller body of the medical examiner who was curled on her side against the couch cushions. Maura snuggled closer to Jane and gently tucked an arm under Jane's back and let the other reach across the expanse of Jane's flat stomach. Maura's hands met on the other side of Jane's body, she laced her own fingers together and pulled her super hero in closer. Jane, in turn, tightened her grip on the medical examiner. They both just lay there together, arms wrapped around each other, legs and feet slightly intertwined. Their breaths slowed and their bodies relaxed. The stress of the day was weighing down on the detective who was quickly falling asleep on the couch. Maura noted this and just snuggled closer and gently placed her head on Jane's chest. She positioned her head just so so that the top of her head snuggled right underneath Jane's jaw and into the crook of her neck and so that her ear was right over Jane's heart. She could hear it beating, feel the pressure of Jane's pulse as it echoed in her ear, feel the warmth of Jane as it surged through her body. Maura was greatly comforted by the strong and steady beat of Jane's heart sounding in her ear. She smiled to herself as she thought that her super hero was still alive and was still- her superhero. Maura's sleepiness was catching up to her, but she did not fight it. She allowed her brain to turn off and let the rest of her body just enjoy being held in the strong arms of one detective Jane Rizzoli. Her eyelids began to shut and she took in one final breath before allowing sleep to take over. Lavender and fear, she noted and then drifted off into sleep.