Behind The Mask
Hey everyone! I am bringing you all this story by popular reader demand! I just want to apologize to all of the Pacifica lovers out there right now as this story is not my way of expressing hate for her, but showing a side to her life no one ever sees. However once you see the progression of the story, you'll come to understand what is happening. The pairings for this fic are Wendy/Dipper, but moves into Pacifica/Dipper. If nothing else, the legal disclaimer, summary, and then the chapter. Enjoy all! *smiles*
Disclaimer: We all know I don't own Gravity Falls. If I did, well, I'd still be writing about it, but just getting paid to do so LOL! Bu I don't own it lol!
Summary: Pacifica's seemingly perfect life is full of demons no one knows about and there is only one boy who can help her face them and escape her personal hell if only she just opens up to him. Dipper/Wendy, later Dipper/Pacifica. Rated T for cutting, blood, and abuse.
Chapter 1: Facing Her Demons
~(Pacifica's P.O.V.)~
I don't know how much more I can take! Everyday it's the same thing, same criticism and same disappointment! I don't know what I've done to make them hate me so much. It feels like I was born just so they can have someone to put down and to make themselves feel superior. No matter what I do, they are never happy, especially my mother! She is the worst between the both of them! If it's not about my hair, it's about my skin, and if it's not about that, it's something that she had enough time to think of to criticize me about! I hate her so much and just wish I had the courage to tell her without the fear of being smacked like so many times before! I can't open my mouth without her hand coming in contact with it, silencing me. There are days that I wish I were dead just so I can avoid the constant verbal and emotional abuse that they put me through every day. Since they want a picture perfect family with a picture perfect daughter, then can find someone else who will be willingly submissive to be their little puppet because I've had enough!
Currently, I'm lying on the floor in front of my bed staring at the several cuts on my right wrist, newly made. Watching the blood trickle from the open wound, I wish I could do just like the drops of blood hitting my carpet, escape and freely land where I want. I want so badly to be someone else somewhere else, any place but here! Here, it's hell! I am forced to act, do, and be someone I was molded to be. This is not to real me, not the real Pacifica Northwest! Who everyone sees in this town is the person my parents created, the person everyone hates, wants nothing to do with, and wants to hurt. Sure I have friends, but who are they really? I know deep down they hate me, but are too afraid to say it because they fear me. Everyone one does, except the pines. They are the only two who aren't afraid of me, but because of the mask I wear, I can't freely speak to them and tell them how much I wish I could be like them because that would go against the "persona" my parents created for me. I am supposed to be the superior one, the one who is supposed to walk on others to get to the top and not care how they feel about it. That is the monster my parents wanted and the monster that they created. Congratulations you idiots, you got what you wanted!
Continuing to watch the now streaming blood flow freely from my wrist, I close my eyes as my mind trails back to this morning when my lovely caretakers told me just how disappointed in me they were about something they think is important to my future as an heir to the Northwest fortune.
Hours Earlier
"Pacifica, explain yourself at once!" My dad yelled to me as he holds my graded math test paper in his hands. "What is this, an F?"
"We are not paying that tutor a load of money just so you can bring home grades such as this!" My mother screamed at me. "I am beyond disappointed in you right now!"
How is now any different from any other time she says it?
"I told you I just don't get math!" I defended myself. "I've said this over and over, why won't you just get it?!"
"Don't you talk to your mother that way!" My dad continued yelling at me. "If you want to one day run the company after your mother and I are gone, you will have to learn how to do algebra! Every Northwest in this family is good at math!"
"Why are you always throwing that in my face?!" I yelled back as I did my hardest to fight back the tears that were quickly surfacing. "So what if everyone else is in this family good at it? I'm just not ok? Accept it because I have!"
"Why you little spoiled brat!" My mother screamed as she approached me while raising her hand to me. Before she was able to do what she was accustomed to to make me submissive, my father grabbed her wrist just before she was able to hit me.
Where is he when she does this all the time? Oh yea, ignoring me and letting her "discipline" me!
"Pacifica, that is enough!" My dad yells. "You will change you tone of voice towards your mother this instant!"
"Why do you even care about what my grades look like?" I had to know. "You are never around, and when you are, all you do is yell at me! Why do you only care when it's something important to you that will keep your stuck up friends happy or is so important to this company that you care more about then me?!"
At that moment, silence fell on the room and that's when it happened, the harshness I was so use to feeling. I didn't even blink before I felt that familiar smack across the face. Grabbing my cheek, I turned back to my parents only to be met with their normal hate filled glares. This time, my dad took the place my mother normally has.
"You go to your room!" My mother demands, venom dripped from her words. "I can't even look at you right now!"
For 12 years of my life, I've been thinking the same thing about them!
Tears rapidly surfaced to my eyes as I turned from them and ran towards the direction of my room. Reaching it, I slammed the door shut and ran into my bathroom. Collapsing to the floor, I buried my tear stained face behind my arms as I curled into a ball to cry my eyes out. My foundation staining my jacket sleeve, my mascara running badly, none of that mattered, but what mattered is I was alone, something I've grown accustomed to considering the how cold and harshly they always treat me.
Because I failed math during the school year, I am now in summer school to make up the grade for the class. I could have taken it the following school year, but no, my parents wanted me in summer school so I can be the smart and perfect little girl they want to be able to brag to their snobby friends about. What's to brag about? All they ever do is tell me how disappointed they are in me constantly so what would it matter if I'm smart? So what if my math grades don't match that of the snotty rich kids of those snotty rich friends? So what?! All my parents care about is keeping up this fake image just to keep anyone from learning the real truth, that my family is a fraud! So what is the point?
Having cried as much as I possibly could, a lot of thoughts began circulating through my mind, one being a way I could easily fix this, fix this mess my parents created and expect me to live with! No, not anymore! I decided that I'm not wearing this mask anymore! I'm removing it if it's the last thing I do!
Lifting myself off of the floor, I immediately eyed the razor blade on my sink counter with my eyes trailing over it as if it is something I've never seen before. I shifted my vision from the blade and to the bathroom mirror, flinching instantly at what I saw. For the first time in my life, I hated who was looking back at me, the person who my parents created just to keep up a ridiculous image so to keep their snobby friends happy. They didn't care anything about me, they only cared about what others thought about them while using me to keep up this fake front! I hate them for what they did to me and even more for who they have forced me to become!
Not being able to stand looking at myself any longer, I grabbed the razor blade and brought my wrist into view. Without hesitation, I sliced my wrist several times with each cut releasing the hatred and anger that has festered in me for years that I held towards my care takers. Immediately feeling the sting from the blade opening my flesh, I grabbed my wrist as I continued crying, the red stream of my life pooling onto the floor below me.
Currently
And this is where I am currently. I was able to pick myself up and enter my room where I was once again alone, that all too familiar feeling. Even with these horrible monsters I call parents, I am always alone.
I notice the cuts on wrist are starting to heal and the blood is starting to crust on my wrist, which signifies that my temporary release is sending me back into the harsh reality that I call life. I don't believe I can make it through one more day of this, one more day of this hell my parents want to keep me in and that I helped create by wearing the mask they gave me. I want so badly to remove it, but I know I can't do it alone. And now a familiar blue image enters my mind, a picture of a tree. A blue pine tree. Why am I suddenly thinking about this? What importance does that have with what is going on? Getting into seating position, I keep my eyes on my damaged wrist while that blue pine tree image sits at the forefront of my mind. Now it is clear to me as to what I have to do. That pine tree will lead me to what will help me escape from my hell and remove this mask for good.
I never really noticed it before, but now I know what I have to do if I ever want to be free from this, free from my personal hell and finally be the person I want to be that is hiding behind the mask.
A/N: Ok, a few things before ending the chapter:
1.) I don't know how long the chapters for this story are going to be considering that this is my first time ever writing a character centric story. While Pacifica's POV will be presented primarily, there will be others too. I'll try to make this fic's chapters the same length as my other story chapters, but no promises.
2.) A GF fanfiction facebok page has been created by AwesomeJosh and The Design Nerd, please check my profile for further details.
3.) I have a DeviantArt page with the link being on my profile as well. If you are a part of the community or just want to check out my page, feel free to drop in and have a look around!
4.) Prophecy's Light will be updated next weekend due to chapter 8 reconstruction, and with no further news…
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