Hello everyone!
Be happy, my mind is chock full of new ideas for...
(drum roll)
The Guidelines for living with Giant Robots Part 2!
Hope you all are ready for more craziness!
I own nothing but Tai, Sparrow, and Psyche!
Enjoy!
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The Guidelines for living with Giant Alien Robots Part 2
Chapter 1
by Tatyana Witwicky
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Tatyana Topaz Witwicky/Prime sighed loudly as she once again found herself in front of the same computer screen, writing out a whole new set of rules for Prowl.
'Tight aft old fragton.' She muttered, making sure he wasn't in audio receptor shot.
'Alrighty, here we go.' She cracked her knuckles and started typing.
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Rule #1: Never paint 'Pimp Mobile' on Prowl's side paneling while he is recharging in his vehicle mode.
(Oh my god!)
(Sharskey and Fassbinder ROCK!)
(My sides were killing me from laughing so hard.)
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Rule #2: Never Auction off the Chevy twins on Ebay or Craigslist.
(Let's face it, no one would want them.)
(Those who do...)
(May God have mercy on your soul.)
(Because Primus will be too busy laughing at you.)
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Rule #3: When the emergency alarm goes off, never do or say the following:
*'Nobody panic! Nobody panic! Just follow these simple instructions...crap, where'd I put them?'
*'I never said they would never find us, I recall saying that it would take longer..'
*'Who's in charge here?' Then answer by pointing to the opposite person and/or bot. (Will and Dad.)(That really made me laugh.)
*'Anyone know how to turn this thing off?'
*Once again, finding a virgin to sacrifice. (The 'Cons are not interested in virgins.)(Not that I know of.)
*'Why didn't they DOOOOOOODDDGGGGEEEE?'
(We get up to all kinds of antics.)
(Prowl and Ratchet are amazed we all haven't been killed yet.)
(I'm sort of amazed myself...)
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Rule #4: Never question Simmon's anger issues.
(It is very random and will pop up out of nowhere.)
(He is a New Yorker.)
(And he has been known to give himself turrets.)
(I'm not even joking.)
(He was just talking to my Dad and Ultra Magnus when suddenly he twitched and yelled out obscenities.)
(*twitch* 'FUCK!')
(Magnus was slightly alarmed.)
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Rule #5: Never sign up any Autobot for 'Pimp my ride.'
(Xzibit was nearly plowed down by Ironhide.)
(Poor dude.)
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Rule #6: Never strap leaf blowers to your back while wearing roller blades.
(Sure you get around the base much faster.)
(But according to Prowl, it's unsafe.)
(But man, it was so much fun!)
(The look on Dad's face when Sam and Leo went zooming by.)
(So priceless.)
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Rule #6: Never decide to make the bots a 'giant slip'n'slide.'
(No good could come of that.)
(Sunny literally flew off the thing and into the ocean.)
(Creating a small tidal wave.)
(All humans present were laughing to the point of hysteria.)
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Rule #7: If you are male, and being comforted by a another male friend or mech, never say...'Thank you, dude...I wish you had a vagina...'
(Jolt disturbed everybody when he said, 'I know buddy, so do I.')
(o.O)
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Rule #8: If someone on base coughs very loudly, never say the following:
*'How the tuberculosis? Is it better?' (Bad idea all around.)
*'Did you cough up a bar stool?'
*'Ya know, you really need to switch brands..'
*'If you're gonna choke to death, could you do it more quietly?'
*'Hey, I found your lung!'
*'Dude, did one of your balls drop?'
(Ratchet takes medical jokes way to seriously.)
(But I laughed when Sam had to be taken in to be 'examed.')
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Rule #9: Never say the following, just because you can:
*'Your hoagie is molesting my boob. Please move it.' (LEo ran out of the room in a panic.)
*'Whoa! I like the way you said that. BOOM!'
*'He's so boring! He doesn't get made when I poke him!'
*'I bet there's a gnome living up there. He waits in the confinements of her hair during the day until she starts poking it with pizza crust and feeds him!" (Sam making fun of my messy hairdo.)
*'NOTHING! I JUST FELT LIKE HOLDING MY EYE AND SCREAMING!'
*'It jiggles!'
*'There are voices in my head...and they keep telling me to buy stuff.' (Haha Fantasy!)(She threw a blunt object at me when Ratchet scanned her.)
*'I'm a vegetarian...except for steak! I love steak!' (Prowl nearly crashed when he tried to figure that out.)
*'I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!' (Making fun of Sam's 'messenger bag' is bad.)
(Once again, newly arrived bots will question the human races sanity.)
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Rule #10: Never try to teach Bots about sea life from videos on youtube.
(Especially about Narwhals.)
(Bender and Sharskey showed them this little cartoon on youtube.)
(Goddammit, it's still stuck in my head!)
(By the way, narwhals aren't the Jedi of the sea!)
(Althought, that would be flipping badass!)
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Be happy everyone!
Sequel, sequel! XD
Any ideas, you know the drill!
The quotes in rule #9 are from two users who are good friends of mine!
-alask-young-, and Fantasyaddict101!
You guys rock!
Review!