A/N: Hello! This is the first story I've posted on here and I hope you guys enjoy it! I got the idea while listening to Margaret Cho's comedy routine where she talked about working on an Olivia cruise. Olivia is a cruise line for women interested in women, and I soon wondered what would happen if some hot girl (who is possibly sexually confused) didn't know she was going on a lesbian cruise. Hilarity and awkwardness would surely follow!
Enter Natsuki and Mai on their trip!
"You know what you need Natsuki? A vacation." Mai stated as she looked around her friend's apartment in mild disgust. Dirty dishes were spilling out of the sink and onto the counters, food wrappers and motorcycle parts lay strewn across every flat surface, and Natsuki herself was half-asleep on her couch, surrounded by all of it. "How can you live like this?" Mai threw a plastic cup at her friend's head, not sure if she was hoping Natsuki would wake up or go unconscious upon the cup's impact.
"Aaargh," Natsuki groaned as she shook the cup out of her hair. She looked up groggily at Mai. "What the hell are you doing here?"
"I was trying to tell you that you should be spending your last summer vacation before college by doing something exciting. We could travel around Japan or even visit America!" Mai exclaimed excitedly. "The possibilities are endless and yet you just lay around here, wasting your summer away."
"Tokiha, we just finished finals yesterday. Yesterday. Let me get some god damn sleep around here. It's only," Natsuki looked at her phone, "four o'clock. We can discuss this in a few hours." Her head drooped onto the arm of the sofa as she tried to get some more well-deserved sleep.
A hand shook her awake and she looked into what could only be described as the eyes of madness. Mai held one of Natsuki's wrenches threateningly above her head. "Get up." Mai growled. The other girl scrambled off of the couch and stood ramrod straight. "Good!" Mai switched to an only slightly less creepy face—one comprised of a cheerful smile. "Now let's discuss some vacation ideas over breakfast-for-dinner."
Mai went over to the kitchenette and whipped out an apron she kept for when she cooked at Natsuki's. "So I was thinking," Mai called over her shoulder, "maybe we should go on a cruise. I mean, there are a lot that go up and down the Sea of Japan. Does that sound amazing or what?"
"Sounds bitchin'." Natsuki said doubtfully. She had dragged herself to the bathroom to wash up for their meal. She only heard every third word Mai was spouting, but Natsuki thought it would be better to agree than take a wrench to the face. Mai was awesome, but she could also be scary awesome. The last time she had been scary awesome, some guy with a bad dye job had ended up with his own kendo practice sword halfway up his ass. And that was only because he had whistled at Mai as she passed him. Poor bastard still had to go to the bathroom standing up.
"Breakfast is ready." Mai yelled. Natsuki, despite her misgivings about the possibility of an upcoming trip, made her way eagerly towards the kitchen. She hadn't eaten since yesterday's after-finals celebration the school held for seniors, and all that was there was Chex Mix and Cheetos. Gross.
"Now this looks pretty delicious." Natsuki admired the food before her. Mai had made omelets and fresh orange juice out of the meager supplies Natsuki had on hand. Impressive, given that she hadn't remembered buying fruit in months.
The orange haired girl smiled excitedly. "Maybe this will get you ready for a…continental breakfast on a cruise?"
"Well you do make a convincing omelet…" Natsuki shook herself out of her food lust and got back to the topic at hand. "What is your obsession with a cruise? What if I had a crippling fear of open water?"
"Do you?" Mai asked, concerned.
The biker snorted as she dug into her eggs. "Psssh, of course not. I'm not a pussy."
"Then I don't see a problem!" Mai replied brightly.
"What is your deal? I just want to enjoy my summer break in peace. Work on my bike, hang out with you, maybe go see a movie once in awhile. Is that too much to ask?"
"That's exactly it, Natsuki!" Mai slapped her hand down on the table, making the other girl jump. "It's too little to ask! Let's have an adventure we can never forget, in some far off place! Preferably on a cruise."
Something clicked in Natsuki and she realized what her friend had done. She sighed. "You already booked the trip, didn't you?"
Mai had the grace to look a little guilty. "I wanted us to have a great trip to celebrate our graduation with. That's what best friends do, right?"
"Oh my god. Now you're trying to guilt trip me. And it's working." Natsuki was disgusted with herself. "You're lucky, Tokiha. Lucky that you have a friend that likes you enough to suffer through a week long cruise to who knows where."
"Actually it's two weeks." Mai said as she produced her laptop from a previously unseen bag. "Here's the site for it."
Natsuki moved in closer to see what was displayed on the screen. "Hime Cruise Line, huh?" She butt-shoved Mai over to take control of the computer. The site was colored in various shades of pink and featured pretty girls laughing, splashing themselves with water, and doing touristy things together. "Why are there only girls advertised?"
"Because sex sells, Natsuki." Mai said patiently. "Guys think girls are hot together and even girls think girls are hot together."
"Maybe you do, but that's not my thing." Mai was about to argue back when Natsuki continued. "I know you had googly eyes for our history teacher. Everyone did. It was scandalous."
The orange haired girl blushed. "Okay, I just have a thing for older women," she stammered, "it's not that big of a deal!"
Natsuki rolled her eyes. "I want you to know that I never did approve of that relationship with Midori-sensei," She gave her friend a placating look. "and it's not because I'm freaked out by your obvious gayness. I just think it would be wrong for you to be in an illegal relationship."
"If we were in a relationship, which we weren't, it would have waited until I had graduated." They hadn't even gotten to third base! No lips or hands below the waistband were allowed during their so-called 'tutoring sessions'. There was a reason (or five) why Mai had gotten the highest score in her history class.
"But there's still the age difference to consider." Natsuki said seriously. Oh god, she couldn't wait until the reveal.
"Oh come off it, Natsuki. She wasn't that much older than me." Mai was exasperated.
Natsuki fought off a smile. Aah, here it is. "Actually, you were the older one. By two weeks. She was a minor when you were of age. How could you, Tokiha? Hentai!"
"How was I older than her? She was our teacher!" The orange haired girl refused to believe it. She was only attracted to older women! Midori was supposed to be the proof of that!
"Actually our real teacher was some guy named Smith, but he was fired after the first day of school. Something to do with volunteering students for illegal clinical trials. Midori-sensei was supposed to find a replacement but she took over herself. She gave the principal a fake resume that said she was 23." Natsuki laughed. "Who would really believe she was that old?"
Mai was still speechless, clearly in some state of shock Natsuki could never imagine. Natsuki resisted the urge to laugh in her face. Hey, nobody said she had to be the sensitive friend. That was Mai's territory. "So now that I have firmly established that you're a lesbian, let's get back to this cruise website." The biker smirked at her friend's expression and continued to peruse the site. "From what I'm seeing on here, you should be able to pick up a lot of older women. The men-to-women ratio is 100% on the female side."
"What?" Mai swatted Natsuki's hand away from the keyboard. "I'm pretty sure I saw a guy somewhere on this site. Aah! There he is!" Mai pointed triumphantly at a figure.
Natsuki squinted at the screen. "Nope. I'm pretty sure that's just a very masculine woman with a faint mustache. Hime's marketing strategy is very risky. I guess this cruise line doesn't cater to gay men. How homophobic of them."
"I'm sure they have another site that caters to gay men" Mai said uncertainly before getting back to business. "But here's our itinerary: Japan first, of course. Then South Korea, China, and Thailand. Isn't that awesome?"
Dammit, that does sound pretty cool. I might be able to enjoy this more than I thought. Natsuki thought grudgingly as she looked at pictures of the coastal cities they would be seeing. "Not bad. I've been to worse places."
"That's the attitude! Now let's get out of this messy excuse for an apartment and go shopping for some bikinis and formal clothes!" Mai squealed, clapping her hands together.
"I'm not nearly as excited as you are," Natsuki said dryly, "but if we're going to go on this damn trip, we'll do it in style. I got dibs on anything black and sexy."
(Four Months Earlier in another part of Tokyo...)
Hime Cruises are the premier ships for women looking for a 100% lesbian experience. Whether you are traveling with your beloved or looking for your next sweetheart, these trips are for you! We welcome all newcomers to the world of lesbian cruises…
"Ara, ara. A cruise? How intriguing..."
I wrote this chapter between episodes from a Community marathon and I was listening to Kate Nash's Merry Happy while I typed. So please check out either of those things if you are interested! And now that I'm done whoring out some my favorite things, please leave some sort of vaguely positive feedback (or scathing criticism, whichever). Thanks!
Oh! And double points for anyone who can guess who the cruise director will be! Hint: It's not Natsuki, Mai, or Shizuru. Hope that helps!