The Adventures of EVERDRED!
That's right, there's only this one fic of him! And with good reason!

By Chris Hecht

The setting of this story in relation to Earthbound is right after Ness saves Paula,
somewhere around there. Everdred goes on his own after meeting Ness, to go find the evil Mani-Mani statue.

(note: I won't take this all seriously, chances are. For one thing, the story is about Everdred! Look at him. He's cool, but he's also a big fat greasy slob. How could anyone take this guy seriously!? Furthermore, this is Earthbound. Earthbound was never really serious like all those queer RPG's such as Final fantasy and ....well, EVERY RPG. Yeah, I know some ass is going to eventually read this and get offended by that. I don't care! RPG's tend to suck. Earthbound is one of the few good ones. This is all my own opinion, of course. I'll start the story now.)

THE YEAR WAS 199X.

Everdred stood on the trail, ready to fight. "Let's lock horns!" he shouted, as particles of food sprayed out of his mouth. He clenched his fists and dug his beetle boots into the ground a bit. Everdred was ready to fight. His eyes narrowed on his opponent with a cold stare.

It didn't really matter though, it was just a ramblin' evil mushroom. Those things don't really have eyes. But that didn't matter right now, since it was already charging forth at Everdred.

"SMACK!" Everdred took a small amount of damage.

"You're good! But not good enough! I'll take on you and all your whole entire family, wuss!"
Everdred started yelling at the Mushroom. Just then some people passed by Everdred, looking at him with a frightened stare.

"Mommy, why is that guy yelling at a mushroom?" whispered a small child to her mother.

The mother made a swirling gesture while pointing to her head, then grabbed her child's hand and walked a bit faster, to get as far away from Everdred as possible.

Back to the exciting battle.

"SMAAAAAAAAAAAAASH" Everdred made a critical hit on the mushroom. The Ramblin' evil mushroom became tame. "HA! ha ha! snort I prevail!" Everdred was now talking to himself. Nothing new, really. More frightened citizens passed by, giving him dirty looks. He didn't notice though, he was too busy gloating and dancing around with his little beetle boots.

Everdred was getting near the tunnel to Threed now. Rumor has it, that this tunnel was inhabited by GHOSTS. Everdred wasn't afraid, though. Why? Well he's a little crazy. But he's got guts! But mostly it's just the craziness.

He was finally there. He stood infront of the tunnel entrance, looking in. What little light inside the tunnel was an slight orange glow from the lights lining the sides of the tunnel. Many of these were burnt out now and hadn't been replaced. Since the ghosts started roaming the tunnel, no one was brave enough to go in and change them. And that's what brings Everdred here: the mayor paid him $2.75 and a turkey sandwich to change the burnt out lights. Everdred wouldn't have minded changing the lights, but he sold the lightbulbs to buy a chicken. Why? Even he doesn't know.

You could say Everdred was 'on the lamb' now, since if the mayor found out Everdred screwed him over, he might call the cops or something. Chances are they wouldn't do too much though, Everdred was already reckognized as the Town Idiot/Town Lunatic. Everdred didn't know this, though, because he is a loon, and so thought he could never return to his home town, otherwise he thinks that the mayor would throw him in jail.

"Well, this is it! Seeya, Twoson! Hello....er......" Everdred thought for a few moments, then started counting his fingers. "Onett...Twoson....oh yeah! Threed! Here I come!" Everdred headed into the darkness of the tunnel.

You think this is short?! Just wait until the next chapter!
TO BE CONTINUED

Damn I'm lazy!!