Memories of Yesterday:
After months and months of combing the shelves of Warehouse 13, just like what she had done with Warehouse 12. She had found it, a time machine, though it was more of a time changer. One could program a set time and go there but you would have to come back eventually. Her heart was soaring but one more complication stood in the way of her plan: getting the agents to help her. She took it back to Artie's office where surprisingly enough all the agents were there. The looked at her as she came in "Hello" she said feeling that she needed to break the silence somehow "You found something, Helena" Leena asked not as a question but as a statement. "Yes, its Albert Einstein's Time Bridge. I was doing inventory and-" she was about to go on before Artie interrupted her. "Wait. How did we get this? I've never heard any time turning device". Claudia shifted guiltily in her seat "You know when Fargo came over, well he gave me something to work on and I fixed it so I asked Leena were to put it. It creates a worm-hole on certain conditions."
There was silence in the room "You want it to use it to save your daughter" Myka said finally standing up "You realize it might not work," "yes" was Helena's only response "but I'm willing to try" once again there was silence in the room. "No absolutely not!" Artie almost shouted, "Artie please. Let her try" this time it was Claudia who spoke "A vote. We need a vote. All in favor say 'hey' all in disagreement say 'nay." Needless to say no one followed Pete's suggestion but Myka, Claudia, and Pete came to stand by her, Artie stood firmly were he was and Leena just stood where she was in the middle as if she couldn't decided were to go. "Yes, thats three to two" Pete crowed until Artie silenced him with a glare. "Thank you" Helena smiled, "I can show you were it is" Leena stood by the door. "Thank you Leena".
A few weeks later they were ready to go-Claudia had made the final adjustments on the artifact, Pete had eaten cookies from the Never-Ending cookie jar and Myka had gotten Helena ready and had paced the floor with a vengeance. "Ok crew we are ready to go" Claudia looked excited "an adventure to the 1800s oh and here you go when you want to come back you just press this button" she said handing a small metal receiver to H.G. "Good luck" Myka looking at the floor, mumbled. H.G. looked down at the small silver receiver in her hands, just one push of this button could give her a chance to change her future give her a happier life, for everyone. "Ready" Myka said as she adjusted gears and wires on the control. "Yes, I'm ready. Thank you." She gave Myka a small smile and nodded and then she pushed down the button and everything went black.
Out of the darkness came a tiny speck of light. She started to run towards it but then stopped: what if something went wrong, what if this is an alternate reality, what if something happens. Slowly she made her way towards the light, as she walked towards it itself got bigger and bigger until it engulfed her in light. She now saw it was a room, but not just any old room it was a room in her brothers house. As soon as she stepped through the door, she could feel her clothes begin to change, a few seconds later she looked down at her self, she was wearing a silver and black dress that fitted her figure, but was not inappropriate for the time, she reached down and touched the locket that she wore almost directly over her heart, she also wore a pair of black gloves that went all the way to her elbow. She looked around, the wood floor was gleaming, and plush couches and chairs adorned the floor. Helena heard laughter in the distance, her brother most be having one of his parties, oh how she had hated those parties. Her brother boasting about his latest, and greatest, book. Why did no one ever believe her when she said that she herself had written them? "Enough" H.G. whispered to herself, she needed to control her emotions and find Christina.
She hurried up the stairs, careful to be silent though so no one could hear her and go to investigate. She was trying to find the room were Christina was staying in when she heard a window breaking and people running and screaming. She had to hurry, Helena quickly began searching through door after door for her daughter, her baby. She heard someone pounding up the stairs and turned to see a man dressed in black. With a knife, he parried at her but she turned and delivered a kick to his Adam's Apple leaving him retching and choking "Oh and the black, very cliché" she said as she hurried back the material whispering against her legs as she ran. At the other end of the hall she heard a scream of a child. "Christina!" she said sprinting towards the door. Her heart was pounding against her chest. She kicked open the door with one powerful kick to it. The scene she saw would scar her for the rest of her life, her daughter was being held by a man, much like the one she had encountered on the stairs.
"Let her go" H.G. screamed, her voice desperate "let her go or I'll kill you" she brought out the Tesla and aimed it at him. "What is that? Who are you?" he said his hands shaking a little bit. He let her go, Christina ran to her "Mommy! I heard screaming and then bad men came in and they said to keep quiet, they were going to hurt me." She said all in one breath her tears soaking Helena's dress. "It's all right love, I got you now" she was sobbing into her daughters hair, holding her close. "I'll never let you go" Out of the corner of her eye she saw the thief pull out his gun. She aimed the Tesla at him and shot blue light of electricity he gasped and fell to the floor twitching.
Two men barged in. How many were there? H.G. wondered as she faced off between the two men. "Austin" one cried as he looked at his fallen comrade on the floor. "What did you do to him!" he yelled and Christina whimpered slightly, "it's okay love, I'll keep you safe. I promise" Both of the men drew their guns, as she drew the Tesla she pushed Christina behind her "Mommy, whats going on? What are you doing!" H.G. and the two men circled each other with guns drawn, Helena made sure that Christina was firmly behind her. "Who are you?" one of the thiefs asked, his eyes flickering everywhere but her: the dirty pink wallpaper, the empty brass bed frame, the other thief that was apparently named Austin. One of the theifs got bold and decided to speak up "give us your money and we'll spare your brother". "You're lying. You wouldn't spare him and besides he has already escaped" Helena said making sure she should see both of them.
"Enough Thomas. We'll get what we came here for and we didn't come here for bargaining" and with those words he shot the gun. Luckily he was a bad shot so it hit the wall and richohted off the wall and hit the other wall and imbedded itself in there. Helena aimed the Tesla for the second time that day and shot it at the man who had just shot the bullet. He screamed as the blue electricity hit him and he fell to the ground twitching and moaning. The other one now scared and angry took the momentary pause to lunge at them. H.G. pulled Christina out of the way just as he fell to the ground. She tried to grab his gun but he rolled out of the way and shot the gun. Everything slowed down Helena saw her daughter backed up into the corner, the man looking wide eyed as his bullet flew towards Christina.
The world snapped back into place as the bullet hit her baby, the only person she was positive she loved. She screamed, in one fluid motion Helena grabbed a gun from one of the fallen men on the ground and shot the gunmen in the chest, his blood spraying outward spritzing the wall. "Mommy" came a choked reply from the wall "Christina! No!"she ran over and held her daughter "I'm so sorry. I love you so much" her voice said breaking at the last word. "Don't leave, Christina. I need you" she said sobbing her voice hiccuping. "I love you too Mommy" Christina said her voice fading "we'll get you fixed up please just hold on" she said holding her hand over the wound in her daughters stomach. She pushed the button but nothing happened, she kept pushing it "Come on, please work. Please" she asked pleading "Mommy what are you doing? What will that do?" she said her voice getting weaker and weaker. "Tell me a story" she asked, so Helena did.
"There once was a woman, she had a daughter who was the love of her life but one day bad men broke into the house where the daughter was staying. They killed her and her mother was so sad and angry. But this woman didn't want to give her daughter up and where she worked was a place where miracles happened and she vowed that she would find something so that she could go back and change it. She spent many hours searching her building for it, but nothing. After awhile her bosses thought that she was a problem so they put her away for many years until a bad, bad man changed that and she came back. That woman was so angry and sad that she thought the world should suffer for her anger. So she developed a plan and put it into motion. She was about to destroy the world when someone helped her see reason. People took her back and took her memories but with the help of a bad man she got those memories back" she looked down at Christina but only to see that her baby's eyes were blank and dead.
"No Christina! Come back sweetie, come back. I need you, please come back." she said sobbing, she looked up the room had started to spin and go black. Within seconds she was back in Warehouse 13. "No!" she wailed "Why now? I could have saved her" Helena crumbled to the ground her head in her hands, her shoulders shaking with sobs. She felt arms being wrapped around her, holding her. "Shh. Come here." Myka. Helena sobbed and buried her face in Myka's shoulder. "I could have saved her" she wailed and then buried her head back in Myka's shoulder. "I'm so sorry" Myka said as she rubbed H.G.'s back. "Come on, lets get you to bed, You'll feel better in the morning" Helena got up, leaning her head against Myka's shoulder her eyes puffy and red from crying.
Her room looked so dark and sad now "I tried Myka". "I know" Myka said tucking her into bed. "Can I have your gloves. I can wash them for you" she said holding her hands out. "No! There's Christina's, I can feel her" she said whimpering as the tears started falling down her face. "Do you want me to stay here tonight?" Myka asked. "No I'm fine, I'll feel better in the morning. Can you turn off the light" H.G. said wiping her eyes, "I'm fine." "Ok" Myka said sounding skeptical but did what she was told and turned them off. Myka looked over, Helena looked so sad there all alone. She walked over and kissed H.G. on her forehead. "It gets better, I promise" Myka said as she walked out of the room.
Myka walked to Artie's office where Claudia, Pete, Leena, and Artie were. "How is she?" Leena asked as Myka walked in, everyone stared at her. "What? You all were wondering the same thing". "Yes but the difference was we weren't going to say anything" Pete said. "She's needs time. She just saw her daughter die. She took it hard the first time and she didn't see it, this time. She tried to destroy the world last time." The group grumbled, they didn't need reminding about the incident with the Minoan Trident. After Sykes had tried to destroy them and Helena saved them, they had all thought that she was dead, but Leena had found her burned and broken and nursed her back to health. After that she had been obsessed on trying to go into the past and save her daughter after her first attempt had failed. "She needs all your help" she said glaring at Artie "please guys be nice to her".
When Helena woke up in the morning, the sun was blazing in her window for a few seconds everything was peaceful until the memories of yesterday came rushing back. She buried her head back under the covers as if trying to hide from the memories. There was a knock on the door "H.G.? Are you in there?" Claudia's voice floated in from outside. "Come in Claudia". Claudia poked her head in the door her red hair catching the sunlight. "I'm so sorry about Christina H.G." to Helena's felt tears come to her eyes and spill down her face, just hearing her name was too much. "When I thought my brother Jonathan had died I was so angry, that he had left me" Claudia said sitting down on her bed, careful not to sit on her legs. "I wanted to go back and change it like you did. I know it hurts so much, that you could split apart"
"But Jonathan came back, my Christina will never ever come back" her voice breaking down at the last few words and then eventually turning back into sobs. "H.G.? Helena? Um… do you want me to get Myka?" Claudia said uncomfortably, she never knew how to act in front of a person in pain, so she was relieved when she nodded and buried her head in her hands. Claudia ran back to Myka almost fleeing the room. "Myka" she called out as she ran. "Over here. What is it?" was the answering reply. "Oh thank God. H.G. wants you." Those three words were enough to get Myka to get going towards Helena's room. When she got there she could hear the sobs.
Myka knocked "H.G., can I come in," she waited for a little while "go away Myka" was the reply that was slightly muffled from the wood. "I can help you" she said trying to coax her out "GO AWAY!" Helena screamed "I just want to be alone". "Okay just call me if you want something" she said turning away from the door, she knew how it felt: the isolation, the anger, trying to rationalize the death or to see a way that we could have stopped it. She walked into the kitchen and sat down and rubbed her temples trying to block out the thumping in her head. "Aspirin" Pete said as he sailed in "oh God yes" she said as he held out a tablet. She swallowed it whole and washed it down with a glass of water.
"Hey how is H.G?" Pete said sitting down next to her "Same. I don't know what to do, Pete, I'm trying to comfort her but its like she doesn't want to be comforted" Myka said sighing as she got up from the table. "She needs time, she can get over it. You're not Wonder Woman Mykes. You can't do everything for her". "Yes, but the last time her daughter died, the Regents had to bronze her. How is that for emotional support Pete." Pete shrugged "Yes but last time she had no one there for her, she was all alone. This time she has you and me, Claudia, and Leena to help her. Just give her time."
Back in her room Helena closed her eyes. Sometimes she wished that she didn't feel so much. She had curled herself up into a fetal position as if to protect her outsides. One scene played over and over in her mind: the bullet drilling its way towards her little girl, hitting her, the blood leaking through her stomach, the light slowly fading from her eyes until she as left with a dead gray color. H.G. choked back a sob. She wanted to be left alone to think, to grieve, but she also wanted someone to be there for her comforting her. Those two emotions raged inside her leaving her heart broken and bruised. She felt that there was a cavern: on one side Myka and the rest of the team and on the other side her, all alone, so empty and angry.
Angry that Christina had left her all alone in this world, angry at the team for trying to help her but in the process leaving her feeling utterly alone. She decided to get out of bed and put on a clean light blue blouse and walked outside. She found her way towards Arties office where the team met. "Helena!" Myka exclaimed when she saw her, the rest of the team looked up. She could see their expressions shock and on some happiness. She figured what she must look like; her hair greasy and lank from not washing it for days, and dark circles under her eyes which were probably puffy and red. She probably looked half dead but Myka hugged her anyway.
"Hey, I'm glad your up. Do you want anything to eat. Leena is making waffles". "That would be lovely" her voice, hoarse from crying. Everyone bustled around getting breakfast ready, Helena looked around nothing had changed, the flowers were still in their pots, the sun still shining in the window, the table still gleaming. Pete was still teasing Claudia, Myka was talking to Artie but now everything had changed, the hole that had been there since Christina's murder had gotten bigger and the world just seemed do empty. "Helena?" Leena had stopped by, pulling her out of her thoughts "heres some tea, I put honey in for your throat". "Thank you Leena."
After breakfast, H.G. went to take a shower and wash her hair, after a filling breakfast and a shower she felt slightly better. Myka stopped by her room a little while after she had gotten out of the shower "H.G. do you want to take a walk. It'll be just us Bering and Wells" she smiled and Helena tried to smile back but it turned out to be more of a grimace from disuse. "Wells and Bering. And that would be absolutely wonderful". She followed Myka out of her room and pulled on her brown leather jacket. The day was sunny and warm but she stuck close to Myka. She followed her to the park and sat down on a bench. Myka patted the spot next to her "Helena can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Yes," she said picking up a dandelion that was stuck in between the cracks of the concrete and twirling it in between her fingers. "How are you feeling Helena? Please tell the truth, I want to talk to you". "Sad, angry, distant, withdrawn from the world" she whispered letting a curtain of long black hair fall in front of her face. "Oh Helena. Come here. We can help you I promise. Please talk to me". Myka said now she was the one that had tears streaking down her face. "I know how much it hurts. Before I came to the Warehouse I worked for the FBI. My partner Sammy died because I was too slow to save him. I beat myself up for weeks, I lashed out at my coworkers that tried to help me, I blamed him for leaving me here all alone. I was just like you sad, angry, and so filled with grief that I wanted to tear myself up, just not to feel anything."
Myka's voice hiccuped but she continued "then I met Pete and Artie and my world slowly pieced itself back together. Please Helena let go to all your anger and grief, it will end up destroying you. Your strong you can get over it". "You can't expect me to get over it so fast Myka! Three days ago. Three! I saw my little girl die, she got shot! I SAW HER DIE!" her voice rising to a shout "I am nothing like you! Don't you dare compare me to yourself!" Helena got up ran away from the bench and Myka. She ran and ran tears streaking down her face as she made her way towards the forest.
Once she got pretty far in she dropped and leaned her back against the tree and cried. Pretty soon she heard footsteps coming towards her and she lifted her head. Myka towered above her the sunlight making her brown hair glimmer and shine. Myka sat down and lifted Helena into her lap. They must have looked pretty silly but since no one was around to notice them, they didn't care. H.G. lifted her head and rested it on Myka's shoulder, her tears dripping down Myka's neck. Myka lifted her hand and stroked H.G.'s long black hair whispering comfort to her. They stayed like that for a long time until Myka leaned down and softly kissed Helena on the lips. H.G.'s lips were wet and salty from her tears but Myka didn't mind.
"I'm sorry. That was…" but she was cut off when Helena reached up and kissed her back. "Wonderful" H.G. finished for her. The last bit of sunlight illuminated their faces. "Come on it's late, I told Artie that we would be back by two and its almost four". They got up and brushed pine cones off their jackets and pants. Helena rested her head on Myka's shoulder and Myka slung her arm around her and pulled her close.