Title: A Vongola Tale
Date: 5-28-08
Authoress: Tempust Sylvia
Disclaimer: Yes. I own Cinderella and KHR. That's why I'm writing a FANfiction about them.
Category: Humor/Parody
Story Summary: Fairy tales! Myths and Legends! KHR! What if they all meet? Then it becomes this big parody fic!
Chapter Summary: Cinderella + Tsunayoshi Cindertsuna? No. Cinderyoshi? Maybe. Tsunarella? Yes!
Pairings: CRACK!tastic pairings. In this chapter spoils: 5927(Gokudera x Tsuna), 6918/1869(Hibari x Mukuro, or vice-versa), Tuna sandwich (182769), Ieyasu (Ninth) x Iemitsu, Ieyasu X Xanxus, Xanxus x Squalo.
Warnings: Points pairings CRACK. Parodying of a child's innocent fairy tale (Although the original Cinderella is not for children too. Apparently, Disney decided to remove it.). Dark humor.
Tsunarella
Once upon a time, in a far, far away land; so far that it might not even be on Earth but, oh well, there was a beautiful boy, with a hair that defies gravity and honey-brown eyes.
The boy's name is Tsunarella. He was the only son of a rich old man named Ieyasu, who was called "Ninth", for short, cause he always has a nine in everything, (Example: Nine houses, nine cars, nine teeth left, etc.) the only thing he has not gotten a nine in is the number of his children, and he is happy with that cause when he gives his property to his son, it will stay as nine (9 divided by 1 is 9). And the other thing without a nine is the number of his wives, which will change very soon.
The Ninth soon grew tired of his eighth wife, Iemitsu, and decided to pursue a woman he had rescued from the slums, Xanxus.
Xanxus is the mother of two evil but handsome stepsisters, Hibari and Mukuro, who always fights with each other.
Now, the Ninth doesn't mind having two extra sons cause A) 3 is a multiple of 9, and B) He is so love-smitten with Xanxus. (Whom, at this point, will be called Ixanixus, so he will have two 9's and not 10's in his name.)
But, the Ninth is busy going to nine different countries to check on the nine investments he made in each. So, basically, Ixanixus got to run the house.
And Ixanixus, instead of being a good mother who bakes cookies for the children, bosses Tsunarella around. And Tsunarella, who grew up in luxury, doesn't know how to do anything.
Hibari and Mukuro doesn't help much either. Their fights create more mess for Tsunarella to clean up. They sometimes try to molest poor Tsunarella too.
One day, while cleaning Ixanixus' room, Tsunarella stumbled upon a lock of long, white hair with a label saying – Squalo's hair. Tsunarella was shocked. Squalo was Ixanixus' ex-husband, and Ixanixus still loved him! Tsunarella was about to return the lock of hair when Ixanixus came in and saw him. Ixanixus was so mad that he was about to burn the house down with his Rage! flame, if it wasn't for Mukuro stopping him with his super-cool from the-end-of-the-cycle techniques. (Mukuro didn't really care if the house or Hibari – who was sleeping at that time, were burnt down. He was only trying to salvage his Pineapple! underwear from burning down.) Tsunarella was then banished to the attic.
Days became weeks and weeks became months for poor Tsunarella. Until one day, he heard horses approaching. It was an invitation to the prince's ball. Actually, the ball was a challenge to see who can make the prince, called Hayato, smile. (His face was always in a scowl, and won't go back to normal. This is what happens after eating too much poison cookies.) The winner will be the prince's bride.
After reading the invitation, Ixanixus found out that the ball was tonight. Quickly, he told Hibari and Mukuro to prepare. Hibari and Mukuro didn't want to go, especially after hearing the marriage part. But, they both thought of it again and Hibari decided that he could order the herbivores in the castle around, or beat them up, and Mukuro decided that taking over a prince's body is a good deal. So, with those in mind, they both agreed. (Which caused another fight, no way are they gonna admit that they agreed on the same thing.) So for Mukuro and Hibari, the whole day was spent dressing up. (Which Mukuro enjoyed, by the way. He enjoyed it more in seeing the scowl on Hibari's face.)
Ixanixus, just to be mean, went up to the attic and told Tsunarella that he was invited too. This got Tsunarella's hopes up, but it was quickly crushed when Ixanixus told him he wasn't allowed to go. Ixanixus then went down, laughing.
The evening arrived; Tsunarella could only watch from the attic's round window as Ixanixus, Hibari and Mukuro departed. And without any hope, Tsunarella then cried.
Then suddenly, a baby appeared, the baby was, supposedly Tsunarella's fairy Godmother, although the baby is clearly a man, and minus the poofy pink dress and wand. Instead of those, the baby, called Reborn, had worn an executive woman's outfit, to Tsunarella's surprise, and a gun. Before Tsunarella could ask about the outfit, Reborn turned to Tsunarella.
"You really are No-Good Tsunarella." Reborn said, "Go die."
Reborn then shot Tsunarella in the head.
"Reborn!!" Tsunarella screeched, while ripping his clothes off, leaving him only in his boxers.
Tsunarella then ran off to the castle, ignoring the screams of "Pervert!" in his wake. And upon reaching the castle, Tsunarella knocked the guards out and forcibly went in, cause let's face it, no guard in the right mind would let a "Pervert" in.
Inside the castle, Reborn! Tsunarella was lost, and since he couldn't find any directories, he punched the walls open until he reached the ballroom.
Hearing the cracking of the wall, Prince Hayato turned and saw Tsunarella, and in his shock, his face muscles reverted back to normal and he laughed.
Tsunarella was about to celebrate his victory but it seems that the Reborn was a cheapskate that his bullet's effect lasts for only five minutes. Which were up, by the way, leaving poor Tsunarella only in his boxers, and standing in the middle of a luxurious crowd.
Prince Hayato was approaching Tsunarella when Tsunarella ran. He ran back to the hole in the wall and Prince Hayato followed suit. Tsunarella, being the loser that he is, tripped, allowing Prince Hayato to catch up.
The prince then asked for Tsunarella's hand in marriage. Tsunarella accepted, and the wedding was to be held on the next day. (They were both too tired to be wedded now.)
The next day, the wedding was glorious, and even Ixanixus, Hibari and Mukuro were invited. Prince Hayato wanted to let them go to exile, but the now Princess Tsunarella begged him not to, because A) He is kind, or B) He got scared at the flames that were about to be ignited at Ixanixus' hands, at Hibari's tonfas and I-will-bite-you-to-death smile, or at Mukuro's trident that had a malicious glint and I-will-molest-you smile.
Princess Tsunarella was scared.
After the wedding, Princess Tsunarella and Prince Hayato lived happily ever after. Except that they couldn't have a baby. It turns out, that even in fairy tales; two men can't have a baby. IMAGINE THAT.
The End
A/N: Err… I hope you enjoyed my dark humor. XD, this fic will not be a one-shot, and more CRACK! will come soon. My sister suggested Princess and the Pee. I already have the idea, gross, but funny. What do you think?
This fic is not only for fairy tales. I can parody Myths too. And Legends. And TV shows or other anime or basically anything . Give me suggestions? I'd love to hear it. :D