Consequences, a pet shop of horrors fanfic

What have I done? These rules are impossible! Dear God in Heaven, I won't last the night!

Bone china. Always the finest. D arranged the little teapot, cups and saucers with critical precision. Perfect harmony in all things...this is the secret to inner peace and contentment.

That's why he asked me to go in the first place, the bastard! And after all I've done getting you elected to the city commission, you goddamn shyster! How could you do this to me, you lousy motherfucker?!

Hmm...not quite right. D spent two and half minutes positioning the chairs properly toward the south, the sacred direction. He wanted everything to be just perfect this afternoon. There was a charge in the air today—a feeling of something beginning—and he was determined to make the most of it.

He knew about the fucking contract; he must have or he wouldn't have sent me in the first place. I should have known something was up when he told me not to tell the crazy Chinaman the pet was for someone else.

Long fingernails tenderly stroked the spoon that stirred the tea leaves, then removed the spoon and gingerly set it aside on the tray. Almost five o'clock. He should be here soon.

"The terms of the contract must be followed in their entirety, Mr. Ferguson. To deviate in the slightest degree will bring dire consequences, for which this shop cannot be held responsible. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I understand. Just let me take a look at those terms. Hmm. Let's see now..."

1. Feed the cat twice a day; once at precisely 6:00 a.m. and again at exactly 6:00 p.m.—not one minute before or one minute after, but exactly on the hour

2. Whenever the animal wants attention at any time of the day or night you must immediately stop whatever you're doing and give him your full attention

3. He must never be subjected to scrutiny; he will not tolerate being stared at. You must avert your eyes at all times when dealing with your new pet

Leon was indeed on the way, cursing and swearing at a bicycle that had careened into his path. Why is Chinatown always so damn crowded? He'd had a crappy day so far, and crappy days always reminded him of green tea and incense for some reason. Why the hell is that? He'd figure it out later.

"Hn? What the hell kind of rules are these, Mr...Mr...? Hey, what's your name, anyway?"

"You may call me 'Count D.' Please sign here, Mr. Ferguson. That's right. Now our transaction is complete and binding. There are no returns, refunds or exchanges. I hope you will be very happy with your new cat. I bid you good day."

Small squeaks, chirps and growls alerted D to the approach of the blond detective, although Leon hadn't yet opened the door. The count lifted the cup to his dark lips and smiled at the memory of their last conversation.

"The evidence wasn't circumstantial, damn it! It was an open and shut case! The commissioner was cheating on his wife with a streetwalker, and when she threatened to tell the press, he killed her! How could the jury be so fucking blind?! He's getting away with murder, D!"

D had sipped his tea then, much as he was doing now, and silently watched the frustrated cop pacing around the shop as he ranted. Leon was a fascinating specimen when angry about something, and there was nothing that enraged him quite like injustice. D had watched in amusement, the teacup in both hands, his body still, his eyes riveted to the detective as the blond stormed around the shop. Watched him with amusement, and...yes...gratitude. Gratitude that they'd finally reached some level of trust or Leon wouldn't feel comfortable sharing little pieces of his life like this, complaining to him about something completely unrelated to the shop.

"Hey, wait just a minute, Mr...Count D! What if someone else breaks the contract instead of me?"

"The terms of the contract must be followed in their entirety, without exception, Mr. Ferguson, or the pet shop cannot be held responsible for the consequences."

"And just what kind of consequences are we talking about, uh...Count?"

"The consequences vary with each customer, but they can be quite severe, even fatal."

"What?! Just what the hell are you selling me here, Mr. Count?"

"I sell love and dreams, Mr. Ferguson. Please enjoy your new pet. I think you'll find he's a very special animal. With care and attention, he'll give you years of pleasure. Do come again, and have a nice day."

Leon soon stormed into the shop, and it was obvious he wasn't over the verdict yet.

What have I done? These rules are impossible! Dear God in Heaven, I won't last the night!

"Please sit down, Detective. You're just in time for tea."

"Huh? You set out two cups...how did you know I was coming here?"

"You'd be surprised at the things I know, Detective. It doesn't matter; you're here in time for tea. Please sit down, and try some of these Caishizhai candies. They're delicious."

"I can't eat right now. I keep thinking about that bastard commissioner getting away with murder and I wanna puke."

"Back already? Good. Sorry, Bob, but I just had to have one of those bizarre cats. Fell in love with the things the moment I first set eyes on them. Oh, here; have a drink. No? You don't mind if I have a little bracer, do you? Heh, he's quite a pretentious bastard, isn't he? If he's Chinese how can he be a fucking count? Of course, he doesn't look in the least bit Chinese. Maybe he's half European or something, eh, Bob? Heh. Yeah, it's quite a status symbol to own something from that crazy Chinaman's shop, you know, but I just couldn't deal with the contract. Since you were the one who signed it, any consequences for breaking the contract will fall upon you. That's why I told you not to tell the Chinaman the pet was for someone else. But don't worry; I'll see that you get a fitting memorial and a mausoleum instead of a crappy old burial plot. Heh heh heh! Now don't you feel better?"

"You fucking bastard! I've worked my fingers to the bone for years as your goddamn lackey, and this is how you repay me? This is all about the trial and the fact that I wouldn't testify on your behalf, isn't it? God damn it, Frank, I'll do a lot of things for you but I won't lie on the stand in a court of law!"

"Well, that was your decision, Bob, and now you see the consequences. All I wanted you to do was testify that I was with you at the time of the murder, which wasn't a total lie. I was with you only a couple of hours earlier. Why couldn't you just say that in court?"

"Fuck you, Frank! Why couldn't you just tell them where you really were during that time period?"

"Why do you think?"

"Hn? You mean...oh, dear god in heaven, it's true! You really are a murderer!"

"Of course it's true, you idiot. I really killed her, and now I've killed you. Take a look at the clock up there, Bob. It's now one minute after six, and you didn't feed the cat. Have you ever seen such a fearsome look in an animal's eyes before, Bob? I've never seen a creature look so...holy shit! Why is he heading for me?! Bob, help me! Help—"

"It's just so damn wrong, D. An innocent woman is dead, and a guilty man goes free just because he's rich and powerful. I'd give anything to see some fucking justice in this case."

Count D set down his cup in surprise. Really, Detective? You'd give anything for justice?

"Hello? I need an ambulance! Commissioner Frank Bowers was just attacked by a wild animal he bought today, and he's bleeding profusely. Hn? No, I don't know where the damn thing went. It suddenly lunged at the commissioner, tore him to shreds and then darted out the window. I expected it to attack me but it ran away instead. Very freaky. Yeah, I'm in the commissioner's office. My name? I'm Robert Ferguson, the commissioner's staff assistant. Hey, you people won't leak this story to the press, will you? Thanks."

D smiled as an exotic wildcat strolled into the room from the back of the shop, lying down beside his chair to be petted as it panted in exhaustion. Leon barely noticed the animal as he took a seat and examined the candies in the dish. Stroking the cat, D thought about treats for the feline who'd given Leon just what he wanted. "I don't think you need to worry about the commissioner anymore, Detective."