And Still
Thousand of people live in this town
And I had to run into him
When I saw him there on that busy street
Those feelings came back again
I couldn't believe it. He was here! He kept his promise! BJ is finally here! Here, in Crab Apple Cove! I felt like smiling a real smile, I was so happy. Strange, I haven't smiled since... well, I couldn't remember the last time. He looks like he's waiting for someone. ...I hope it's me...
There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide
He walked up to me, looked in my eyes
Oh, God! He's looking around! I hope he doesn't see me. Crap! He saw me! I'm out in the open! He's walking over to me! He's looking in my eyes... His are so beatiful...
And still
The world stood still
I couldn't move
And all I could feel
Was this aching in my heart
Saying I loved him still
My world is standing still. I can't move. Why is my heart beating so wildly? I can't still be...can I?
He said, "How've you been.
It's great to see you again.
You're really a sight for sore eyes."
I said, "I can't complain.
I'm doing fine."
We talked as the people rushed by
We laughed about old times and all we went through
"Hey, Hawk, remember that time Frank got carried off by the MP's after I first got there?" BJ asked, chuckling.
"Yeah! I didn't even plan it and it was one of the best - and first- things we did to him together. I miss those days- believe it or not." I replied, begining in chuckles and ending in near-tears.
"Oh, Hawk. Don't cry. C'mere..."
That's when he hugged me and said I've missed you
"I've missed you, Hawk..." BJ whispered into my ear, still holding me tightly.
And still
The world stood still
I couldn't move
And all I could feel
Was this aching in my heart
Saying I loved him still
"I've missed you too, Beej. God, I've missed you. You don't even know." I whispered back, blinking misty eyes. Feeling the tears coming, I close my eyes and will them back. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I was conscious of a tinkling bell- which means that someone had just exited a nearby shop. I open my eyes to see who it is. No-no-not now! Please, Peg! Go away! Just for a few minutes! Please!
That's when she walked up to him
"Bj? Who is this?" Peg asked sweetly but cautiously. BJ gives me one last squeez, then lets go. He walks backwards to Peg's side and wraps an arm around her wraist.
He said, "This is my wife."
I gave my best smile
But I was dying inside.
He said, "We've go to go now it's getting late.
It was so good to see you. See you later,Hawk."
And then they walked away
As I watch their backs dissappear into the crowd, I take an unconsciecs step forward and raise an arm with drooping fingers as if to reach out and grab him. A painfull and chocked, "Beej..." escapes his lips in a whisper.
And still
My sight is getting blurry... I should probably do something about that...
The world stood still
Suddenly, the people around me didn't exist anymore and all I could see was their retreating backs...
I couldn't move
No matter how much my arm started to hurt or I wanted to run after them or sink to my knees and cry... I couldn't force myself to move...
And all I could feel
I felt something warm roll down my cheeks and I vaguely realized that I was crying...
Was this aching in my heart
My heart hurts...my chest hurts...my head hurts...I can't breathe...
Saying I loved him still
I fall to my knees and let the tears fall as I sob silently. My arm still isn't going down... I can't believe it... He breaks my heart... And I still love him...