Live With That, a naruto fanfic

Live With That

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Duh.

A/N: KakashixSakura; Sakura will be eighteen, making Kakashi thirty-two. Just to let you know, I felt a little awkward writing this so you might feel a little awkward reading it...it deals a lot with the transition between Sakura seeing Kakashi as a mentor to her seeing him as...something else? This is another one of those one-shots where I'm going to mix up the dates. If you've read my other KakaSaku one-shot, "Dirt Floor," you'll recognize the format. Hope you enjoy!

10.10

The Apartment

Sakura had let herself in to his apartment, and now she stood with her back to the door, a blush coloring her face and her tongue caught behind her teeth.

"Sakura?"

There was a table by the door that he sat at now, a pile of paperwork in front of him. Just a moment ago he had asked what she was doing in his apartment and why she had decided to let herself in.

She found her voice. "It was late. I thought you'd be asleep." She said this matter-of-factly, as if it weren't exceedingly creepy that she would be letting herself into his apartment at some hour past midnight.

"You knew I was awake."

She had known. But she didn't want him to know that she had known. "No."

"Yes."

Her body moved again as she shrugged. "Okay, fair enough. I knew you were awake. You wouldn't have let me in if I'd knocked."

He rested his head in his hands, squeezing the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache. "True. But...since you're here, I guess I could ask what this is about."

Sakura ran a hand through her hair. "You know what this is about."

He stood up, made his way to the door. Put a hand on the doorknob, over her own, and hesitated at their proximity. "You know that I don't want to talk about it."

She turned her hand over to grab his, her heart clenching in the fear the he would pull away from her. "I'm not going to let you pretend that this isn't happening anymore. We're talking about this now."

He was silent for a moment, immobile. Then he finally pulled away. "Alright."

3.28

The Training Field

It was an uncharacteristically hot day for March. The sun set on the grassy field that Sakura and her ex-sensei had just been training in, both of them lying on the ground to catch their breath. Sakura let out a long sigh...her lungs filled with air. They were both coated in sweat; Kakashi had stripped off his shirt to let his skin breathe, and Sakura was down to her black shirts and a short black tank. They didn't speak for a long time, letting their bodies cool off after a few hours of sparring.

"So why did you decide to do this today, of all things?" he said finally, propping himself up on his elbows.

Sakura glanced back. "What do you mean?" She couldn't help but notice every toned muscle on his pale body...the black ANBU tattoo on his shoulder. She blushed, looking away.

"You thought I would forget it was your birthday?"

She rolled over, squinting to look him in the eye. "You didn't?"

"Obviously not."

She let her head sink down, her forehead resting on the grass, and let out a groan. "I don't know. Naruto and Sasuke were gone...Ino's getting ready for her wedding. I guess I didn't really think anyone else would spend time with me. And I didn't think you would remember so I wasn't going to ask to go out or anything..." She lifted her head. "And I like doing this. You're a busy man. I miss this."

"Huh." He lay back down. "Okay."

Sakura snuck some more glances in at her ex-sensei's body. He wasn't overly muscular, but lean and tall instead. There were some things that she had never noticed as a girl.

"Eighteen now, right?"

She was pulled out of her examination by his voice. "Yeah. Eighteen."

"You want to go get a drink?"

Strange. Sakura drifted between refusing and agreeing to go. Normally she would go out for a drink with a potential date. Wasn't that the way adults did things? Was this appropriate?

She glanced back at his tattoo.

"Okay."

9.21

The Bar

"Yo."

"Oh...it's you."

Sakura sat in the bar where she and Kakashi had come for her birthday, and the empty seat next to her was suddenly full. Nobody else was around; she had stuck around after her friends had left, wanting just one more drink. Instead she had consumed more than one and was now hunched over at the bar, getting ready to order a third.

There was something off about the copy nin tonight. He seemed stiff compared to his usual laid-back attitude, and his visible eye continued to flick over to her every so often as he ordered a drink and settled in.

"When did you get back?"

"About half an hour ago. I had to check in with the Hokage and then I headed over here for a drink."

Sakura gulped down some of her wine cooler. She still preferred the light, fruity drinks, although her friends made fun of her for it. "Ah."

He had taken off after the...incident...four months ago and it had been only a couple weeks later that she had learned he was on a mission and that he wasn't just avoiding her. She wondered if he had requested a long mission or if it was just a coincidence...did he want to escape her now? Leave her like Naruto and Sasuke already had? Just the thought of it hurt.

"Sakura, I need to talk to you."

She leant on her hand, turning to face him. He looked really rough, and the thought flitted through her mind that he might be hurt. The medic in her turned on and reminded her to demand a check-up after he was done talking.

"About what?" she said. The alcohol was kicking in a bit. "About the fact that you left without a word after...you know..."

"Yes. About that." He looked around, obviously seeing something he didn't want to, and looked her in the eye. "You want to go...elsewhere?"

She blushed, looking down at her fingernails and trying to play it cool. "Sure."

3.28

The Bar

Sakura soon realized that she didn't need her two so-called "best friends" in order to have a great birthday. Kakashi bought her a few drinks - her favorite wine coolers, free to get what she wanted now that there was no one there to taunt her - and she quickly got a lot happier. Kakashi was warm(ish) and actually let out more than a chuckle every once and a while.

It seemed like they were having a wonderful time when they finally left the bar late that night. Sakura was still in her disgusting clothes from training earlier in the day, as was Kakashi - although he had put his shirt back on, to Sakura's dismay. They walked down the street slowly, and a thin mist set in, making their skin sticky and moist. It was cooler now - almost romantic. Because although Sakura had been through things that most women her age would never experience, she still held on to her romantic notions.

And Kakashi seemed like a very good target for those fantasies at that moment.

The alcohol made her bold, and she looped an arm through his, leaning against his shoulder as they walked the last few feet up to her parents' house. "Thanks for this," she said, letting go of him and opening the door, "I had a lot of fun."

"It was no problem," he replied, leaning on the door frame, "I figured I would take you out since the boys are gone..."

"Yeah."

"Happy birthday, Sakura," he said, his eye crinkling. He stood there for just a moment, leaning forward just a little more...and then he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

She realized at that moment that she had really wanted him to kiss her.

She had really wanted him to kiss her.

6.1

The Club

They didn't talk about that night.

Something had passed between them when he had left her at the door that neither wanted to bring up. Or - they wanted to bring it up, but it seemed as if it would be incredibly inappropriate to do so. Sakura moved out of her parents' house in the middle of May, renting her own one-room apartment with the money she made as a medic. This seemed to make things worse; every time she went home to sleep alone, she imagined that he was there in the bed with her. She tried to meet other men, and she met plenty of them, but none of them lived up to her standard - a standard that it would be hard to meet, since she was rapidly falling for one of the most powerful (and attractive) ninja in Konoha.

On the first of June she went to a club to meet a medic she'd met at the hospital. He was nice enough, and she was beginning to think that he would take her home and kiss her on the doorstep and maybe even come in for a while when Genma arrived.

Kakashi was with him.

They had continued to train, but she hadn't seen him in a social setting since her birthday. And here he was, interfering with her date and with her life. How was she supposed to forget about him when he was always there?

Had it really gotten this bad?

She turned to her date, grabbing him by the hand. "Do you want to dance?" she said loudly, so as not to let the music drown out her voice. He smiled, nodding, and led her out into the crowd. The lights were bright, the music loud, and it seemed that that weekend most everyone in the village had decided to show up. When she caught sight of a shock of white hair in the crowd, she let go of her date and he was immediately lost in the crowd.

She made her way towards her ex-sensei.

All of a sudden she was extremely self-conscious. She looked over her dress - a little black number that Ino had bought her after the blonde had forgotten her friend's birthday - and made sure she hadn't spilled anything on the short black heels. She wished that she looked sexier, more adult...but this would have to do.

He had already had quite a bit to drink, she imagined, and was here to unwind after a mission. She had never seen him look at her like that before...or anyone, for that matter. His eyes traveled over her entire body, starting at her feet and ending at her face.

"Sakura...?"

"I haven't seen you here before," she said in a half-hearted attempt at conversation. Did she really just say that? How casual did that sound?

"Genma likes it here," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Oh."

"Are you here alone...?"

"Oh, I have a date," she said, "I'm here with a date." She wondered why she had told him that and knew he would ask where said date was. "He's in the bathroom and I saw you over here..."

"Ah." Kakashi studied the floor and then looked back at her casually. They stood awkwardly for a moment, and Sakura was reminded of her birthday, when they had stood at her door.

She wasn't going to miss a chance like that again.

"Would you dance with me?" she asked suddenly.

Kakashi shrugged, "I don't really dance..."

Sakura smiled. "Oh, come on. Just this once."

A sigh came through his mask. "Well...okay. Why not."

In just a few moments they were back in the mix. Sakura hoped that nobody she knew would see her dancing with the older man...she wanted to be a stranger in a crowd right now. The lights would help with that.

Sakura really didn't dance either, she realized too late. She began to sway her hips to the music, and then hesitantly put her arms around Kakashi's neck. Looking around at the other women in the room, she noticed that they were all grinding their bodies up against their partners. Was she allowed to do that to this man? Would he let her?

She got her answer when he put his large hands on her hips, pulling her just a little closer - close enough that their bodies touched. "You don't do this often, do you?" he asked, his eye crinkling.

"No, not really," she replied, "I'm self-conscious."

"You don't need to be," he said. His eye was on hers, and the way he was looking at her made her want to peel off his mask and kiss him right there.

"Um...thank you?" she said.

"You actually look lovely tonight, Sakura."

She was really blushing now. "Thanks," she said, allowing herself to get more into the music. She made sure that her eyes were connecting with his and continued to dance, pulling him closer. Should she feel like he was behaving inappropriately or did she want this? Was she mature enough to want him?

There was no time to think. The loud music drowned out her thoughts and any words that would pass between them - the only communication was what their bodies provided. Their dancing continued to get more and more intimate until she was eventually pressed flush against him; his breathing was hot on her neck when he whispered, "Let's go."

Caught up in the moment, she eagerly followed him out of a back door in the club and then out around the side of the building. The music still roared from inside as he pressed her up against a wall, his hands on her hips. "I can't stop thinking about you," he muttered, "But I know that this is horribly wrong and that I should never have agreed to dancing with you..."

"Don't worry about it," she replied, reaching for his mask. His hand caught her wrist as if he might stop her, but all of a sudden he was pulling his mask down himself and kissing her hard. She readily responded, tangling her fingers in his hair and hooking a leg around the back of his knee to pull him in closer. Her little black shoe fell off, but she hardly noticed; his hands had found their way around to her backside and were running up to her shoulder blades and back down again, giving her chills. His kissing was superb, better than any boy she'd ever kissed.

He was, quite obviously, a man. Not a boy.

His mouth had moved down to her neck when she noticed that something in between her thighs. Of course, being a medic, she knew what it was and was well-accustomed to seeing such things. But all of a sudden the fact that she was kissing her ex-sensei, a man fourteen years her senior, really, really scared her.

It wasn't fun anymore. She immediately flinched away, turning and putting an arm in between them. Kakashi stepped back, closing his eye. "Sakura...I'm sorry." A blush flamed on her cheeks and she began to walk away, quickly. She needed time to think...they could talk about it another time. "Sakura!"

3.28

The Bar

"Thanks so much for taking me out tonight. You know, I really thought that the boys would invite me somewhere...or Ino...Hinata...and then I find out that Naruto and Sasuke are gone on a mission without even telling me, and Hinata actually let me know, but she's gone too, and Ino has completely forgotten because of her wedding. It really hurts, you know? And I thought that maybe I would get asked out by someone and I could just go out on a date for my birthday - it's kind of a big year, you know - and I don't get asked out. I just feel...forgotten."

"You're not forgotten."

"Really, thanks. I know that now."

9.21

The Apartment

As they walked down the street, side-by-side, Sakura wondered what it was that Kakashi wanted to talk about. Why he wanted to leave. Did he want to make love to her? Tell her he was sorry again? Was it something completely unrelated?

"I'm sorry I left like that."

Oh. An apology.

"Was it my fault?" she asked, crossing her arms, not looking at him.

"No." He was keep his cool. "Tsunade had an urgent mission for me. It took longer than expected."

"Alright. I can believe that."

They continued to walk, and Kakashi was silent all the way to his apartment. Sakura itched to bring up that night when he'd kissed her so passionately, when she had pulled away. She supposed that it was her responsibility to bring it up.

"I panicked the other night," she said when they reached the door.

Kakashi grimaced. "I can understand why. You realized you were kissing an old man. Let's just forget it ever happened."

"No, but..." she stared at him. "Kakashi, you're limping."

He stood up straight, glancing at her. "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

The medic glared at him, putting her hands on her hips. "Yes. You are. Now let me in so I can check up on everything."

Kakashi rolled an eye. "Fine, fine..." The door clicked as it unlocked. "Come in."

The apartment was dark. Sakura realized suddenly that she had never really been in Kakashi's apartment, other than to pop in and tell him to wake up as a child. The one room was sparsely furnished - there was a table, a small kitchen, a couch, a bed, and a bookshelf filled with little orange paperbacks. On a shelf above his bed stood a photograph of Team 7 and another team. The room said a lot about Kakashi and his lifestyle and Sakura found that she liked it here just because it was so...his.

"Go ahead and sit down," she said, motioning towards the couch. Kakashi grumbled all the while; Sakura knew that he hated medical exams.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one telling you to sit? It's my apartment after all..."

"Hush," she interrupted. She held her hands over his body, checking everything over for any sign of injury. "Looks like nothing's too badly injured, but you will be very sore. I would suggest getting someone to give you a massage tomorrow at the hospital."

"Yeah, alright..."

"Promise me you'll go to the hospital tomorrow?" she asked, sitting down next to him.

"Yes, I will go to the hospital."

She nodded. "Good."

Nothing was said, but she made no move to get up. Finally, she cleared her throat and spoke again.

"I wanted to tell you that I panicked the other night and I don't know what's going on betwee us..." She looked up at him. "...but I don't want to give up on it just yet. And it could take some time but eventually I'll -"

"Sakura," he said quietly, putting his head in his hand, "You are a child."

She frowned. "What?"

"I mean it on no offensive way," he explained, "I just don't think that this is a good idea. So many people would be against it. Your parents. The Hokage. Sasuke and Naruto. All of your friends, all of mine..."

"Sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this."

Kakashi glanced at her. "I have. I don't want to hurt you."

She frowned, moving towards him just a couple inches. "Then let me make my own decisions. I am no child, Kakashi, and if you honestly thought that you never would have kissed me in the first place."

"I had a lot of time -"

She cut him off, leaning over to kiss his covered lips. His hand crept out towards hers, covering her own, his fingers entwining with hers. When she pulled away they both sat for a moment, looking at anything but each other.

"I think it's time for you to go."

10.9

The Hospital

She had hoped that she would forget about everything over time and find someone else that was better than Kakashi.

It distracted her from her work, it distracted her from her friends...she simply couldn't function as long as there was this tension over what had happened. She hadn't really seen him at all for the past couple of weeks, except for once or twice around town.

There was no use in stewing over things. It was time to figure this out and end it.

10.10

They sat in the main part of Kakashi's apartment, Sakura sitting cross-legged on the bed and Kakashi sprawled out on the couch. He still had his hand on the bridge of his nose, as if he had a headache. Sakura couldn't help but feel as if she were the headache, constantly berating this tired, busy man.

"So what exactly is it that you want to talk about?" he said.

"Well, it's obvious that there's something going on between us."

"Yes, it is quite obvious. And what do you propose we do?"

Sakura bit her lip, looking down at her hands. "I've done a lot of thinking...and I've realized something.

"Something happened when I grew up. And that something is that I started seeing you as something other than a teacher. You can't sit there and tell me that I'm the same and that you are the same as we were five years ago." She looked up at him. "Obviously you see me the same way that I now see you. So why fight it?"

Kakashi shook his head. "It's not that simple, Sakura..."

"It's not? If I would be willing to put up with the criticism, wouldn't you?"

His head snapped up, his eyes meeting hers. "You know nothing about me. I have a dark past and a dark future ahead of me. I haven't been known to treat the women in my life all that well. I am antisocial and detached. I don't want to force that on you, and I don't want to feel responsible for any pain that you might feel..."

"I want you!" she said loudly, standing up suddenly, "What do I have to do to make you understand that! Nothing is going to make me stop wanting you, you cannot convince me that you're no good for me."

He grimaced. "People my age get married, Sakura. People my age have sexual relationships. You want that?"

"You really want me to answer that question?"

9.22

Despite the fact that Sakura was more mature than many women her age, she had never had sex. And she could see how it could be a problem. Kakashi had, no doubt, had sex with several women. What was his romantic life like? Had he ever been in love? Because of her long-lasting infatuation with Sasuke, she had never really taken any chances at having a long-term relationship.

Kakashi was probably afraid that she was disgusted by him, that much she could ascertain.

Sakura was mature, but unexperienced. So was she really ready to commit to something like being with Kakashi - a man fourteen years her senior? It had frightened her when she'd seriously thought about it for the first time, when he had been kissing her that night at the club. But now that she thought about it, it seemed like a possibility. He was someone that she was familiar with, someone that she'd known for years.

He'd always been good to her, and she trusted him to continue taking care of her.

10.10

"Yes, I do want you to answer that question."

He stood up, walking slowly towards her.

"I've thought about it. And yes, I am ready for that kind of relationship."

The backs of her knees hit the side of the bed - she hadn't even realized that she had been backing away from him. "So it would be okay if I did this?" he pressed his masked lips against hers and gripped her shoulders, pulling her close.

"Yes. It would," she whispered against his face.

"What about this?"

His mask crumpled up at his neck as he moved closer to her, pressing her uncomfortably against the bed. It was too dim to see much of his face, but she caught just the outline of a strong jawline. And then he was kissing her again. His tongue pushed in between her lips and her knees gave out from under her. When she fell, he went with her, making sure that every inch of their bodies were pressed up against one another.

She had to think of a way to turn this around on him.

But when he tried to pull away, she followed him up, and he was forced to keep kissing her. She hooked a leg over his waist and pushed him onto his back, straddling his waist.

One bewildered eye stared up at her, a mixture of shock, embarrassment, and lust on his face. Now that she could see it she was able to fully appreciate it; smile lines creased his cheeks, but other than that his skin was flawless. What else should she have expected from someone who had kept their face covered at all times?

She reached for the hem of her shirt. "Alright. Are you ready to go?"

His mouth opened and his voice croaked out. "What?"

"Sex. You asked me if I was ready. I am." She leaned forward to kiss him again -

"Wait, no!" He tried to get out from under but she infused her legs with chakra, keeping him pinned down. "That's not what I meant."

"Alright. Well then I think you just disproved your point. Are you ready to have sex with me? No."

"Sakura..."

"Come on. Let's give this a try. I've..." She took a deep breath. "I've realized that you're an adult. Guess what? I'm an adult too. You need to stop treating me like a child and start treating me like your equal."

He sighed, and then reached up to touch her face.

"I think I can live with that."

"Really?"

"Really. You argued your point very well."

She smiled. "Thanks."

The copy nin gingerly placed his hands on her chakra-infused thighs. "So are you going to let me up now?"

Sakura grinned, leaning back over to kiss him.

"Not just yet."

A/N: Hope it wasn't too boring, although I kind of feel like it was...

If you got through the whole thing, please review!

--Kat