Ok, so the other day I was taking a nice little walk with my headphones on, listening to this new album I downloaded the other day. So this song came on and it...well... was really sad. It made think of a picture that I have on my computer (you may have seen it?) of Near sitting on his bed, with his face in his hands. On the other side of the room, was a memory of Mello and Near when they were younger. It's really a very sad picture. Makes me cry :). Anyway I decided to write a songfic about it. So here ya go. PLEASE REVIEW...PLEASE!! Thanks.
Oh and I don't own this song, and I don't own Death Note
You Remain-
music by Imperative Reaction
It's so impossible to really believe
you're gone
and even though it is been a while
its no easier
to accept
to understand it
to move on
You're still everywhere
A faded photograph. Wrinkled and bent from the years of carrying it with me. White lines and cracks cover your face like spider webs, reminders of how long ago it was. Yes, I lied to you. There was another copy. I had to. I had to keep some part of you with me, a reminder of what you once were. I would have rather you shot me then and there, with my back turned to you, then to look at what's become of you and have that image burned into my mind, haunting me forever.
I'd give up all tomorrow
to have one yesterday
and I live within that moment
as long as you could stay
beyond goodbye
beyond the pain
I'll never let go
you'll always remain
"Mello that's great! It looks exactly like him!"
"But wait. I haven't finished yet, I still need to draw his glasses."
I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the first time you were mine. I still could feel your warmth surrounding me as I nestled with you on my bed, with my head rested on your chest, your hair gently stroking my cheek as you spoke. Your arms surrounded me like a protective cage while you drew those funny pictures of Roger, making me laugh like nobody else could.
I remember that awkward moment of silence after the joke was over. Turning my head to look at you. The impassioned look in your eyes. That night we were the only two people in the world. Nothing else existed for me.
It's so impossible to really let go
and move on
and even though I know I cant go back
It's no easier
to accept
to understand it
to move on
You're still everywhere.
I kept your shirt from that night. I pretended that I didn't know where it was and that you had lost it, but I knew then that I needed it, that I'd need it one day. I kept it sealed up, and now I sit here on my empty bed, in my darkened room years later, holding it. I keep it dark in here because it helps me see what we once were.
I opened the bag, carefully pulling out the black shirt which you were almost notorious for wearing. I feel the cloth under my fingers, remembering how it felt with your body underneath, warm to the touch and firm as I grasped your arms while you kissed me for the first time.
I place the shirt to my nose and inhale deeply. It still smells like you, and that's all I can take as I break down into sobs, my tears soaking into the dark cloth. Savoring every bit of your scent as I fill myself with it. Something I will never experience again.
I'd give up all tomorrows
to have one yesterday
and I live within that moment
as long as you could stay
beyond goodbye
beyond the pain
I'll never let go
you'll always remain
Those were amazing times weren't they Mello? I knew you loved me. You never said it but I knew it. It was before this rivalry destroyed us, before the weight of the world crushed our spirits, you loved me.
I know you're still there
I know you'll always be with us
in some way
And we'll never forget
the way you were so alive
the way you changed us
will not be lost inside
you remain forever
you never fade away
you remain forever
and you'll never change
I pull myself under the covers of the bed weakly, still clutching your shirt to my chest. Sometimes sleep is the only way I can get the crying to stop. The next morning I'll go to work, become my usual stoic self, but when I come back home, your memory will still be waiting here to haunt me. I'll repeat this ritual every single night until I can have you back.