Rose POV:
A year. A whole year of being alone. I didn't regret leaving, not now, now I knew. It was for the best. It wasn't running away, it was selfish or cowardly. It was brave, and helpful, and oh so stupid.
"Oi! Hathaway!" Tim yelled from across the alleyway. Tim was a rogue, like me. We spent a couple of nights a week prowling the nightclubs and city, searching. Always searching. The alchemists organised our marks. We had our names in their system and they recorded every kill when they came to clean up the mess. I turned and crept along the rooftop, feeling the nausea lessen as I left the immediate area.
"Yeah?" He looked up from his position below me – acting as a drunk, passed out in the dark alley – and grinned, expecting me to be on the other side.
"There's a man inside asking about you, or someone that looks exactly like you and stole your badass rep. He's tall, brunette, deep voice, funny accent. Got a couple of fresh marks, near the bar." I nodded and leapt down, landing lightly on the pavement. It sounded like a man I knew. A man I wanted to forget. A man that brushed me aside like a cobweb. I left Lissa, knowing Dimitri would look after her. I left Dimitri knowing he needed her more than me. Lissa was fine without me. Pregnant, but fine. I still took the darkness from her, always expending it with training, forever training. There was no love of my life to help me get rid of it any other way anymore. The guardians for Princess Lissa would occasionally get anonymous tipoffs about her, whether she needed help but wouldn't admit it, or when she grew depressed because of spirit. Adrian... I saw him occasionally in Lissa. He was as drunk as a skunk, and smoking like a chimney again. I knew it wouldn't last. Dimitri. My heart clenched painfully. Love fades, mine has. It was obvious what he wanted, what he meant. He didn't want me near him, so I removed the temptation. He made me weak. He made me need him, relying on him only made me weak. I would never be that girl again.
I headed inside, my short, yet practical red dress drawing attention. I glanced around and found my shadowy corner with its conveniantly broken light bulb. Strigoi were in here, I could feel them, that nausea fluctuating with their proximity. I saw the man that Tim meant. Two marks fresh upon his neck, only visible when he moves, the ponytail blocking them. Long chocolate brown hair that was held in a band, loose and low on his neck. I stopped breathing. It was Dimitri. The leather duster, a detail Tim didn't tell me, a clear indicator.
I pulled out my phone and hit speed dial. Tim picked up on the first ring. I spoke in rapid russian, the language we adopted to keep our conversations private and for me to secretly hold on to the last shred of Dimitri that I could.
"It's Dimitri. You should have told me about the duster!" I whispered frantically into the mouthpeice, watching Dimitri straighten up. My heart sank. He had been speaking to our favourite bartender, Adam. He gave us cover when things got rough and entry to his apartment above. He didn't know I wasn't supposed to be here. As if called, he glanced at me and his eyes widened a fraction. He realised I didn't want to be found.
"Tim, Adam talked. No hunting tonight, head to the safe house, I'll get out and meet you there." I hung up and went for the door, watching the tall russian scan the room. My nausea peaked and I was blocked from view by a tall blonde strigoi.
"Hey there beautiful. Is he an ex you're trying to avoid?" he inclined his head towards Dimitri, thinking I was a bloodwhore, not a trained, kick-ass guardian. I smiled anxiously and nodded, ignoring the red rim on his eyes.
"Yeah, something like that." His eyes gleamed at my answer and he laid a hand over my shoulder, rubbing an icy thumb over my skin. I shivered in disgust, but he took it as a good sign and leaned down, basically purring in my ear.
"Come on then beautiful, I'll help you forget all about him..." I nodded and smiled seductively, allowing him to pull me away from the crowd and to the exit. Once we were out, I placed both my hands in my pockets, carefully positioning my stake and leaning against the wall. He smirked and began leaning down. His lips were less than a inch away from mine when the stake slashed his cheek. He snarled and spun away, lunging back, only to miss me. He was slow. A powerful kick sent me reelingi but I recovered, using the momentum and the wall to propel myself back, sinking the stake between his ribs and into his heart. He stilled. Panting, I whipped out my phone and found Sydney's number.
Hey Syd. Rose. Again. Main alley behind the usual club, blonde strigoi, just me.
She txt back quickly, complaining about it being her night off, me always making her busy, creatures of the night etc etc. I cleaned my stake on his jacket and dragged him behind the bins, hiding him from human sight.. He had no money, indicating that he was paying for everything with compulsion.
The door slammed open, and out tumbled Dimitri. He barely registered the strigoi, frozen, just staring at me. That second was all I needed. Never hesitate. The rubbish skip served well and a spring board and I managed to clamber back onto the roof without a boost. Running flat out like I was used to, silent and sure footed, I sped along the rooftops, eyes only focusing on the vent in the distance. Feet pounding on the pavement below told me he was following. Damn him.
The safe house came closer and closer, each passing second giving my hope and feet wings. I slid gratefully into the vent, climbing literally into Tim's arms. He laughed and swung me down to the floor.
"that was a close one Hathaway. He ran straight past though." I nodded mutely, sucking in oxygen.
"I killed the blonde one. Syd was on her way." Tim frowned playfully and put another tally under my name on the wall. I was beating his strigoi count by three. Footsteps made us fall silent again and we peeped out the window cautiously. Dimitri trudged past, shoulders slumped unhappily. My stomach clenched and nausea began to creep in. Was it guilt? His shoulders stiffened and he whirled around, dodging a strigoi. Another one emerged from a shadowed doorway. He was outnumbered. I grabbed my stake and an extra and looked for a way to get to him fast. The foor was too far away. My eyes stopped on the window. I leapt up, ignoring Tim's exclamations that I was mad. Swinging off the beam I launched myself out the window, feet first, shattering it into a million pieces. Both strigoi paused, as did Dimitri.
"Don't hesitate." His eyes gleamed at me. I ran at the closest one, stake in hand. My stake flashed out, dragging across his chest and arm, making him howl. Using his pain as a distraction, I staked him and wrenched it free. Dimitri's stake rolled past.
"Roza!" Dimitri's anguished yell made me flinch as I turned and barrelled into the strigoi that had him pinned. We rolled, colliding with the wall, before resuming our struggle. I pinned him underneath my legs, fist repeatedly smashing into his face, sharp rings with charmed silver spikes making his face bleed and burn. Each punch was enforced with a word.
"Don't. You. Dare. Touch. Him. Ever. Again." my spare stake in hand, I manuvoured it skillfully and slammed it into his ribcage. His eyes glazed over. It was done.
"You shouldn't have risked your life to save me." His voice was flat, the mask returning in full force. I laughed bitterly without humour.
"I've been telling myself the same thing for over a year now. Doesn't make it true." he flicnched, my words hitting the mark.
"Abe sent me to find you, he wanted to make sure you were well. He told me to give you a credit card linked to his account. I told him no. its traceable, you would never use it. I'll go now." I watched him turn, mask still firmly fixed. I could see through it. The anguish. Running away was cowardly. He was doing it too.
"Stop. Just stop." he halted, still not facing me. I watched him with tortured eyes. He turned ever so slightly, so he could just see me. Anger flared in his features.
"No, Rose. You stop. All you do it push, push, push! I can't love anymore. You're so deluded that you can't stop being a child and grow up. Face the facts, I gave up on you a long time ago." The rage that had risen up so quickly in him sputtered and went out, leaving him as a shell again. Rage was emotion, anger was passion. It was a good sign. I wasn't a child. He knew that.
"I am not a child. You don't think I am a child. You proved as much that night in the cabin." he flicnched again. Good. Bastard. "But you're the one that is wrong, that is deluded. You can love, you still love me. I see it even when you refuse too. But you're scared. You're terrified of what you'll see if you truly open your eyes. If there's one thing that you taught me, it was never give up, so I am going to do what the true Dimitri Belikov would have wanted, what the man I fell in love with told me to do so many times. I see him in you, I see his strength, his goodness. You're just afraid to open up to it. You were a guardian, are you still brave? Are you still game enough to live? Because I have a challenge for you." he clenched his jaw, eyes shining and fingers flexing. The air around us was charged with electricty, the heat between us unbearable. He nodded his head, a tiny jerk that was almost invisible.
"Kiss me. Kiss me like you're a man in love, and I am the woman you love. Pretend if you have to. But kiss me damn it, and mean it. If you can truthfully say that it means nothing to you-" my voice broke slightly, but I plowed on, ever the warrior."-then at least I'll have something to hold onto, even if its fake. Believe me Dimitri.. it was always real for me." he shook his head, eyes wheeling madly as he searched for something to escape to. I stood my ground, holding his gaze in my own penetrating star. My eyes mocked him. I goaded him with my mind. Be a man Dimitri. He strode over, brushing his thumb over my lips gently, staring down at me. I stamed down any hope that had swelled. He leaned down. I stretched up, snaking my arms around his neck and crushed myself to him.
I expected him to pull away, make a cross with his fingers to ward me off, stay the stoic guardian, but he didn't. He swept me up and poured everything he could into the kiss. It was grief, regret, anger- so much anger, love. Anything and everything either of us had ever felt was in that kiss. It was perfect, it was bliss. He pulled away, the love that he hid shining in his eyes.
"yes, I love you still Roza.. but..when I ever I hold you, see you, hear you.. all I see is what I did, what I wanted to do. I can't live with that, I can't bear the pain of knowing I used your love for me that way. I can't live with myself. Lissa saved me, the least I can do is live long enough to protect her." My bubble burst. I wrenched myself out of his arms and towards the shadows, fingering the charmed ring Oksana sent me in my pocket.
"She. Didn't. Save. You. I will never give up on you Dimitri, even if I die because of it. Good-bye." I slipped the ring on and felt the tingle that told me its till worked. She had sent me a new one that blended with what I stood in front of. Effectively rendering me invisible. His eyes searched and he looked about him uncertainly.
"Roza? Rose!" He began cursing in russian and collasped slowly to his knees. Still staing at where I had disapeared, he clutched at his hair, the ponytail coming loose. He spoke to the empty air around him.
"I won't give up you either. I will find you. I'll save you too, Roza. I'll save myself."