AN: This is an all human (AH) Jacob/Bella fiction and contains scenes of violence, brief mention of necrophilia and character death. If this is something to those of you who would prefer not to/do not like reading content of this nature, I would advise that you stop reading after this authors note.
In this particular fiction Jake is considerably a darker more twisted version of the sunny boy that is seen in the books. The darker aspects of his nature are hidden under the pretences of childish naivety, happily ever afters and dreams that come from his way of thinking. In other words he has a screw loose; the lights are on but nobody's home, out of his tree, reality-challenged, mad as a hatter and so on and so forth.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight series or any of the characters used in the making of this story, they belong to the book sagas author Miss Stephanie Meyer.
I'm in love with an angel, heaven forbid
Made me a believer with the touch of her skin
I'd go to hell and back with you
Stay lost in what we found
Worlds apart we were the same
Until we hit the ground
Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm weak
Maybe I'm blinded by what I see
You wanted a soldier but it wasn't me
'Cause I could never set you free
So fly on your own
It's time I let you go
Go
"Angel" – Theory Of A Deadman
It was summertime, 1947, and a warm breeze swirled through the neighbourhoods caressing old brick homes with white painted porches and radios blasting out tunes by the Harmonicats. Those were the days when milk was still brought to your door in cold sweating glass bottles which the doorman delivered clinking to your doorstep and sleek black cars cruised by on white wall tires blaring horns that really let you have what for.
My father had come back from the war three years before, gaunt and etched, a ghost, a shell of the man he had once been – returned back to us from across some raging ocean surrounded by killing fields, and entire countries became crypts. He was further away now than he had ever been during the war. He drank Schlitz on the porch all day every day, that's what he did, from sun up to sun down and my mother and I mostly just tried to stay away.
But I was 13 at the time and it was a glorious summer. I spent every day with Embry Call, a scrawny boy to be sure, but a renowned hellion. We spent the entirety of the summer roaming creation. We shot at squirrels and birds in Hoh Rain Forest with our slingshots and fished all along the banks in Sol Duc River, a mobius band of swishing waterfalls and silvery pools. Its riverbed pocked full of deep holes where mighty catfish and river nasties lurked and the days whipped by.
I tell you it was just pure joyful life, and I was alive and it was me and Embry best friends forever, and that's when I saw her and everything changed. She wasn't just any girl, her name was Isabella Laurence or "Laurel" for short, and she was the tail of a comet or a shooting star, wispy and beautiful. The sky I remember was shouting blue and we were playing baseball with the other 8th graders out on Atesis field when she passed by, walking with a group of girls and I tell you that was it. Man I must've looked like a fool standing there with my mouth agape whilst those girls passed by. I don't even remember how the game ended and I don't remember the next few days. Where those memories should be, I only see grey fog and her.
But I remember every bit of the moment I saw her, every second, the way the grass felt between my toes, the smell of dirt and summer and trees, and the clenched knot in my stomach. My heart skipping, jumping, stopping and triple beating, and I knew from the moment I first laid my eye upon her that I was in love; deep everlasting, head over heels in love.
Her skin was pale porcelain starlight, her eye the colour of chestnuts and her pouty lips were promises wrapped in red ribbons and yes sir I tell you I knew it from the moment I first saw her, she was for me and I for her and we would marry, have kids and grow old together until we faded away into our golden years, sipping lemonade on porch swings. One of us would go first, probably get cancer, and we'd hold hands in the hospital until twilight called the other home.
And so I planned how to win her and thought myself silly, but I knew that what I lacked in experience I would more than make up for with enthusiasm.
A day passed, then two, two nights of dreams of Laurel. Sweet lark filled dreams of gentle moonlight and grassy green plateaus and starless skies forever. I saw an elk in my dreams, I was the elk and I ran for days and nights through white crystalline snow, lightening beneath my hooves and Laurel was the sun and moon that lit my way.
Until Saturday arrived.
It was Saturday June 14th 1947, and not a cloud dare defy the radiance and fullness of that day. As I recall I had chosen Saturday because I knew there would be a pickup football game down on Atesis field. I knew my friends would be there and the other boys from Gallows Hill would be there and we would become clashing titans that day and the gods of Olympus would be watching, they'd be watching as we battled for glory just as we had done every Saturday for the last few months. The gods would be watching but more importantly the girls would be watching too. The girl would be watching…
They always came by to watch the games, pretending to be interested in football. I'd told my mother about it once and she said "well now Jake, girls aren't interested in football, they are interested in the boys playing football." It hadn't made much sense at the time but Laurel had awoken in me an understanding of the nature of boy and girls and that primal desire to love and be loved, and I knew then as I know now she had not been interested in football all along, or even boys, she had been interested in me. I was the reason she came to watch football on Saturdays.
I was going to play the game of a lifetime; those boys weren't going to know what hit em. I would play so well that she couldn't help but see me and only me. After the game, after I had impressed her, I would ask her if I could walk her home, make small talk, and hold her hand. We'd follow the river and on the way we'd stop to sit along that old flat rock that perches over the pool, where minnows dart like quicksilver and moss sways in the rippling blue water. There is an opening in the trees and when the sun is low enough a dusky orange glow shines through and illuminates the rock and it is warm and beautiful and simply takes your breath away. My plan was to kiss her at that perfect moment, when the brilliance of it all had her breath away do that she would kiss me deeply and I would be her breath.
And it worked…to a point. I remember playing well, although I don't remember who won nor did I care. Afterwards I jogged over to where her friends and she were standing looking uninterested and I introduced myself to her. It went well I think, or think it must have since she, although hesitant did agree to part ways with her friends and let me walk her home.
And as the sun set in shades of brilliant red shadows grew long we walked and talked along the soft muddy banks of Sol Duc River. The lapping music of gurgling water filled the pauses in our talking and so there were no awkward pauses of the kind you'd expect during inexperienced newly blossomed romances. I had planned well.
She told me of her mother and father and laughed when she spoke of her mother's new hairdo. She told me how it flipped up in the front like a ducks bill and when she yelled her husband's name, Hank, she sounded like a duck. It was funny and we both laughed long and loud.
And so it went until we came to that large flat rock and my palms did grow sweaty then and my heart skipped beats, this was where we'd stop and sit and I'd kiss her in the setting sun. Only there was a hiccup in my plan, she said her parents would grow worried and I understood. My parents, at least my mother were likely to tan my hide whenever I showed up after dark.
So I rushed things and I began to bumble when she refused to sit and stay. I shifted my plans and as she turned to continue walking past the rock and towards home I grabbed her hand to turn her towards me moving in swiftly to kiss her and just as our lips were close I could feel the warmth of her breath, she pulled away.
Normally one would take this as a sign to stop and adjust strategies but I knew our fate. I knew that we would grow old together and that once I kissed her and made her understand, she would be mine and I would be hers, forever. So I tugged as she tugged, and I being the stronger of the two, forced her into me and my lips to hers and they touched and even so she struggled until we slipped on muddied rocks and fell into the river. I banged my knee on something sharp and she her elbow on a rock, I know for she let out a yelp and I laughed and I giggled as we had made a mess of things. Two lovers falling in a river.
Oh how I laughed and I knew I must kiss her more and more. Isabella, my dear darling Laurel continued to struggle and I knew that in her struggles she was wasting time and avoiding truth that I must make her see and understand. Grasping her throat with both hands I pressed mightily her head towards the water and she screamed then still not understanding how much she loved me. She struggled like a wild cat, but I laughing and in love, knew only the power and joy and strength of unfathomable love. Her screams turned to gurgle as water filled her mouth and her eyes widened, and I pressed more and squeezed more tightly as her struggling gradually ceased. A stolen breath here a screaming gurgling gasp there and still I pressed, water bending and refracting images of my love basked in orange rays until her porcelain skin and red lips turned blue.
I pressed deeper into the water and I knew she was close to understanding but still she fought so I began smashing my fist into her mouth, punching, my fist rose above the water and rocketed below to pound and smash her mouth and I think I cut my fist on her teeth but I was in rapture driven ecstasy. Then as suddenly as she had fought so suddenly she ceased.
When she became limp and accepting of my love, I knew she finally understood. She wanted no other than me and I no other than her, and I knew I must find a place to hide her away, a place to keep the world's prying eyes and jealous heart away; and I did, being so very clever, I thought of a place where no one would look.
I walked along the middle of Sol Duc River until I felt a sudden drop, a hole wide enough for Laurel, but small enough to keep her cosy.
I cradled her and held her in the light, kissing her closed eyes and kissing her smashed and bloodied lips a broken tooth scratched my lip and I remember my exact words to her at the time for they were my vow, "Goodbye my love I'll come to see you soon, do not be afraid for I will always love you and I will keep the world at bay. I'll come back and kiss you until my flesh is no longer able but even then do not be afraid, for as a phantasm I'll lay beside you in your embrace."
I then submerged her below and into that hole and pressed with the sole of my shoe until her body filled that hole and I carried several of the largest rocks I could find and filled the remainder of the hole with them, until she was completely covered and safe. You see how much I care for her don't you?
Then I went skipping home a boy in love.
And so my secret is revealed and you are probably thinking that I couldn't be happy because I never get to see my darling love. But I do see her! Once a year on the anniversary of that special day I go to Sol Duc River and walk into the water until the water is to my chest and I lift the rocks which cover her and bring her to the surface and cradle her in my arms and kissing her and renew my vow, making love to her in the light of the moon.
She grows more beautiful every passing year. Although her flesh is gone, we have grown in trust and companionship. For what is love but sacrifice and trust? I have sacrificed my primal urge to judge beauty by the flesh and instead I love her for who she really is. What is devotion if it isn't unconditional love? I go now for my final visit in this fleshy form. I go to place myself where I belong with Laurel. I'll find the biggest rock I can and carry it until I am submerged in the hole with my darling, and using my last breath and strength I'll pull the rock over our heads and the deep darkness will keep us for eternity.
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
AN: Quick Geography Lesson:
The Sol Duc River, is a river in the U.S. states of Washington, and flows west through the northwest part of the Olympic Peninsula, from the Olympic Mountains of Olympic National Park and Olympic National Forest, then through the broad Sol Duc Valley. Near the Pacific Ocean the Sol Duc River joins the Bogachiel River, forming the Quillayute River, which flows about 4 miles to the Pacific Ocean at La Push.
As promised after uploading The Brass Teapot, I have proof read, spell checked, edited and now uploaded the newest fiction work Laurel. Any and all mistakes found whist reading are my own. This will be my last posting for today as I am bone tired and read to trundle of to bed, that is of course after I finishing watching season 1 episode 2 of Bates Motel. Can't expect me to sleep without my TV show fix, it's practically my version of coffee. I probably will not be posting tomorrow as I have a very busy day ahead of me, what with having to get up early in the morning to get some serious shopping done before coming and getting ready to spend the evening with my friends before one disappear back off to university and I and the others to college. Oh college life. Anyways enough of my boring life story, long and pointless authors note. The next fanfic will be uploaded the day after tomorrow, the reasons already mentioned (in a long winded speech which could have taken up two lines) above. The name of the fic is yet to be determined.
Review if you like, you don't have to if it's not your thing although it is appreciated.
Tah tah for now.
Fenrir Vanagandr ~