Hey guys! It's me again *waves*. So, it was requested that I do something dealing with the wedding plans and the proposal following Untitled & Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid. So this, will probably be a two shot, three shot at the most, leading up to our Minx Wedding! I hope this amuses you, just a little, because it amused me.

Remember, this is important, these don't actually follow the show so they are AU! Completely so!

Characters/Pairings: Zach Slater, Krystal Carey(aka KWAK), David Hayward/Liza Colby, JR Chandler/Annie Novak, Erica Kane, Greenlee Smythe/Kendall Hart

Mentions: Maya the Maid, Josh Madden, Reggie Montgomery, Lily Montgomery, Sean Montgomery, Molly Montgomery, AJ Chandler, Other Assorted Pine Valley-ites.

Summary: The engagement has been announced so now what? Marissa hates to say it, but she sometimes thinks she's on the highway to hell. But that could just be Erica's doing.

I Now Pronounce You Traumatized By...

1. Zach Slater

It was a peaceful day. A full week following their announcement to Bianca's immediate family, Marissa was surprised at how peaceful that Wednesday was. She didn't know what to expect, but there were birds chirping and people smiling and waving and parents with their children and neither she or JR had even thought to send AJ to get a cookie or anything. Even Annie was being nice to her. That should have been the first indication something was wrong. Sure, she and Annie weren't enemies, but the woman was flat out nice to her. Not civil, but nice. Smiling, getting her a drink that wasn't poisoned, siding with her against JR in his tirade about why Marissa should probably wear cream instead of the sky blue she'd picked. It was odd, but Marissa just shrugged it off. If she hadn't, maybe she wouldn't be in the predicament she was in now.

Zach Slater looked up from his menu and set his blank eyes on Marissa,

"You wanna marry Bianca." he said simply. She nodded, a little uncomfortable by his entire demeanor. She'd interacted with Zach plenty of times and he was usually warm and caring, welcoming her into the family before she felt she deserved it. Right now, however, he was being the 'thug' Zach Slater she'd always heard about. It worried her.

"Yes." she said back. He nodded, going back to his menu and not speaking again. A few minutes ticked by as customers came and left Krystal's and she watched the, not sure what else she should do. "I-"

"She's like a little sister to me." he cut her off sitting the menu down. His dark eyes zoned in on her own,

"I u-"

"And I look out for my family."

"I ge-"

I've made mistakes, but they come first."

"Za-"

"And I know people. All over."

"See, I ju-"

"And I've learned things."

"Now jus-"

"Like how not to leave any evidence."

"Are y-"

"And how easy it is to bribe a judge or cop."

"Bu-"

"Keep that in mind." he said standing and leaving. Marissa blinked after him, unsure if she should be frustrated or disturbed at how calmly that entire conversation.

"You're getting married and couldn't tell your own mother?" after hearing that, she figured she'd wait until later to figure that out.

2. Krystal & David (Or Satan and his Helper)

"Krystal...hey." Marissa said. Krystal looked down at her, her eyebrow raised amused.

"Hey." she said simply. David walked in with Liza just in that moment and Marissa's eyes widened at the evil glint in her mother's eye, "David, have you heard?" she turned to him. David pretended to think,

"You found your broom?" he offered. Krystal glared as Liza ducked her head to hide a smile.

"I'll just be...yeah." she said walking away.

"No."

"Damn, keep looking." he said almost apologetically.

"Our daughter is engaged." Krystal continued like David hadn't been speaking. He perked up,

"She said yes?" he asked sitting across from her.

"You knew about this?" Krystal asked disbelievingly.

"Of course I did, I enjoy being involved in my only daughter's life." he said simply. "Tell me how it happened," he turned to Marissa. "Was it romantic? It was, wasn't it?" he continued.

"We-"

"Now just hold on a minute, how could you possibly tell David but I'm the last to know?" Krystal cut in.

"Reme-"

"Because she trusts me more." David said to Krystal.

"How could she possibly trust you more than me?" Krystal asked.

"Because I show an interest in her relationship, which makes her very happy I might add, and it's genuine." he glared.

"I came around eventually!" Krystal cried. Sure, she hadn't been as accepting when Marissa had first said she was dating another woman, but could you blame her? It was her daughter. She didn't care if other people were gay, but when her own child dates someone of the same sex it was a little unsettling. "And it's not like I condemned her or anything, David. I was a little uncomfortable, I admit," she started.

"You set her up on blind dates!" David hissed.

"I thought I was helping!" Krystal defended.

"She's not a child, she knows how to make her own choices." David argued.

"Oh don't you just sound like 'Father of the year'." Krystal mocked. David shrugged,

"I'm the farthest thing from it, Krystal, but you're not exactly Mary Poppins yourself, now are you?" he asked condescendingly. Krystal could almost hear the steam coming from her own ears,

"You don't even-"

"Deserve to know Marissa. I've heard it all before." he waved a hand. "Call me later, Pumpkin." he told Marissa. She pulled a face,

"I said don't call me that!" she said indignantly. He grinned and walked away, leaving her and Krystal.

"Can I at least come to your wedding?" Krystal asked finally. Marissa opened her mouth a few times but nodded. That went well.

3. JR

She'd gone to see AJ after the scene in Krystal's. Seeing David and Krystal go at it like that always made her feel uncomfortable and worried. She worried that she and JR would be that way someday and she always needed to see her son's smiling face.

"You!" she heard as soon as Maya let her into the Chandler Mansion. She turned around, wide-eyed as JR rushed into the entryway.

"What?" She asked not knowing what she could have possibly done.

"You know what you did and it's not cool, Marissa." he said simply. His face held anger as he glared at her but she was at a loss,

"JR, I don't have any idea what you're talking about. I just left Krystal's after watching David and Krystal go at it again and I'm getting a headache, I just wanna see AJ." she said. He eyed her,

"What time is it?" he asked. She sighed and looked at her cellphone,

"JR, it- dammit." she muttered.

"C'mon, I'll drive you." he said opening the door for her.

"...any idea how upset she was when she called! She thought something was seriously wrong with you! She was hysterical!" he had been fussing for over ten minutes now and Marissa was clinching the door handle to prevent committing a felony.

"JR-"

"I understand you got a little tied up but two hours, Marissa? Two hours?" he continued to rant. When hers and Bianca's condo came into view, she had never been more relieved.

"JR!" she said finally.

"What?" JR looked a little offended.

"I was practically kidnapped,"

"By Zach, yes I know. It happens in this town often, if you haven't learned how to get awa-" he was cut off when she ran from the car as he pulled up. "You could've said bye!" he called after her.

4. Kendall and Greenlee(The Troublesome Twosome)

"You're late, Tasker." It was the first thing out of Greenlee's mouth as she entered the Montgomery-Kane Ranch. Yes, that was really the name of it and yes, it was Erica's idea.

"I know bu-"

"I don't wanna hear it. Do you wanna hear it, Kendall?" Greenlee cut her off. Marissa was growing annoyed with people.

"W-"

"No, I really don't." Kendall said glaring at Marissa. Marissa threw her arms up and waited but they never continued. She looked at them, looking at her, before finally,

"What?" she snapped.

"C'mon, you can go meet my brother. Reggie." Greenlee grinned grabbing Marissa's arm.

"You have a brother?" Marissa asked confused.

"And a sister. Which makes them Bianca's step-siblings." Kendall piped in from her other side.

"There are more?" Marissa squeaked.

"Plenty, cos she also has a brother named Sean and another sister." Greenlee said.

"What?" Marissa looked pale.

"And Josh will be back from Africa soon." Kendall offered.

"Josh?"

"Our other brother." Kendall clarified.

"This is just like Joe's Apartment." Marissa said, her eyes wide. She had no idea.

"Marissa, I'm glad that you could join us." Marissa felt she needed a jacket when Erica spoke to her.

"I'm so-"

"Mom, be nice." Bianca said. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked Marissa who was a little pale.

"We-"

"Marissa had this amazing idea, didn't she Kendall?" Greenlee cut in.

"I did?"

"Yes and we were so shocked but she was," Kendall lost herself for a moment,

"Interviewing potential wedding planners," Greenlee added.

"Right! And none of them seemed to fit," Kendall continued,

"So she was telling us how amazing it would be," Greenlee,

"For Mom,"

"To plan your wedding." Greenlee finished with an innocent smile. Kendall's smile couldn't melt butter if it tried. They just looked so sweet. Marissa wanted to murder them.

"What?" She and Bianca asked at once, two different tones for different reasons.

"Yes! She was out there gushing about how Erica Kane could throw a party and your wedding would be a celebration." Greenlee continued.

"And I gotta agree, Mom can sure throw a bash." Kendall sugared it on. Marissa wanted to faint. Bianca was over the moon. Erica's ego was stroked.

"Well, if this is true then I guess...I guess I just couldn't say no!" Erica said with a smile. Bianca squealed and ran to the kitchen,

"Uncle Jack! Mom is my we-" Is all they heard before the kitchen door closed. Erica fixed Marissa with a knowing look,

"Good job. You may just end up on my good side." she said with a wink walking off. "Bianca, I have the perfect idea for your dress!" she strode after her daughter, "C'mon girls! We're going to need Marissa's input too!" she called over her shoulder. She looked at Kendall and Greenlee who just grinned,

"Welcome," Kendall sang,

"To our family!" Greenlee finished. Marissa wanted to cry.