Now Retest Me

by Dr. Scott

I've been having fun watching the DVD's and realized there was a missing scene that I wished we could have seen.

Spoilers: Season 4-"Upgrades" and "Divide and Conquer"

Genre: SJ ship

Disclaimer: Characters all property of Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer.

"Now retest me," demanded Major Samantha Carter. Her head was still clearing from the combination of sedative and stimulant that Doctor Frazier had given her. Everything felt like it was a dream, but the tingle she felt down her spine was real. His words had been rather vague, "I care for her a whole lot more than I'm supposed to," but the look in his eyes as he said them was unmistakable.

Anise looked up from the screen of the zatarc detector surprise registering clearly in her usually schooled face. The swirling lie detector had changed from a large red chaotic pattern to a cool blue spiral. Anise nodded and began resetting the machine to begin again.

Carter stepped over to where her Commanding Officer sat strapped uncomfortably in the chair. She only looked briefly in his eyes as she pulled the headband off that held his head back in place. His smoldering look made it clear that the chair wasn't what made him so uncomfortable. She ducked her chin and focused on unbuckling the belts that strapped his wrists tightly to the chair's frame. She stooped to do the same to the belts that held his ankles and felt his hand take hold of her elbow and gently help lift her up. As he slid out of the chair he gave the elbow a quick squeeze to let her know it was alright and she braved another look in his eyes. His brown eyes had softened into the everything-is-going-to-be-alright look that she was so familiar with after a battle. If he had been angry before, it wasn't with her.

Carter slid into the chair and could feel the warmth of his body still lingering in the seat back and along the armrests. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath forcing herself to relax. For the briefest second she imagined it was him giving her a hug from behind, but then she felt his hands on her feet as he reversed the process of buckling her into the chair. She opened her eyes and watched as his strong, long fingers deftly strapped down her wrists, then blinked with surprise as he patted her right hand. Their eyes met and locked as she leaned back and he reached on either side of her head to pull the elastic headband on to her forehead. As his hands gently cupped her face, she was lost in the depths of his dark brown eyes that were never this open. In fact, they'd really only once stared so openly at each other and that was precisely why she was here now, strapped into this alien machine.

"I am ready to begin again," announced Anise, bringing them both back into the room.

Colonel Jack O'Neill jerked his hands back down to his sides and the briefest flash of guilt in his eyes was quickly hooded as his military demeanor cloaked all the expression out of them. He turned to walk back behind the machine where Anise stood, and Carter suddenly felt very alone and like a bug under a dissecting microscope.

Anise turned to the man standing beside her, sliding her fingertips up the side of his face to remove the Tokra memory device attached to his temple, "Colonel?" was all she asked to get permission. He inclined his head down towards the woman so she could reach, but to Carter's point of view it looked like he leaned into the caress and a stab of jealousy surprised her.

Anise stepped quickly around the machine and over to Carter. This time she placed the button-like device on the Major's forehead with very little contact. "Try to relax, Major, it will hurt less."

Carter closed her eyes trying to relax. She could smell the woman as she leaned over her. It was a dusty, spicy smell. Not entirely unpleasant but definitely alien. She was curiously fascinated by the difference in temperature of Anise's cool fingertips in contrast with the warm metal of the device as it was placed on her head. Then she winced as Anise engaged it and the memory button jabbed hundreds of microelectrodes into her brain to monitor her responses.

What if this didn't work for her? They had both been unconscious at the same time, but with her on one side of a force field. It's possible their goa'uld enemy had gotten to her and not to him. Maybe she had been subjected to a mind control device and programmed as a zatarc assassin. But her instinct insisted that she had been unconscious for only a few seconds. Her hunch that hidden feelings had caused the machine to indicate a false memory had proven true for the Colonel. He was now standing free, and she needed to prove herself clear so she could return to stand by his side where she belonged.

"Major Carter? Please direct your gaze at visual sensor," intoned Anise having returned to her place behind the machine.

Carter opened her eyes and forced herself to stare into the glowing light and not at her commanding officer.

"You may begin your account just after you and Colonel O'Neill separated from Dr. Jackson," instructed Anise. The machine hummed to life and a brief pulse of red light shone on Carter's face as it was calibrated to her retina.

"After, Daniel went for the naquadah, we went down a different tunnel that led to the power core. We went through a force field there easily and set the C4 explosives on the cooling lines. We ran back to the junction where we found Daniel again, but he was struggling with the heavy pack of naquadah. His arm band fell off and he collapsed on the floor. We turned back to help him and then two Jaffa appeared," Carter retold the story as she had two days before.

Anise nodded encouragingly making a few adjustments on the machine

Carter glanced up at the observation window where she could see Teal'c and Dr. Janet Frazier watching, then looked back into the swirling sensor of the machine. "Luckily, Teal'c appeared and stunned both Jaffa with a zat gun. Teal'c was just helping Daniel who was still groggy and weak and needed help to walk, when we heard another Jaffa patrol coming. The Colonel and I backtracked down that tunnel to stop the Jaffa and give Daniel and Teal'c more time to escape."

"Did the Colonel order this action?" asked Anise.

"Well, sort of, we just looked at each other and knew that was what we had to do, and he said, 'Come on, Carter'" she admitted. She glanced over at the Colonel but he was standing at parade rest with his hands clasped behind his back and his eyes vacantly staring at the wall behind her right shoulder.

"Continue," urged Anise.

"The arm bands were still mostly working, and we ran through the patrol so fast they didn't even know what hit them. We tried to knock them out cold, but I could feel my strength failing. Obviously, at least one was only knocked over because before we had run back very far the alarm was sounded and force shields began to go up in the corridors. We ran through two but I couldn't keep up with the Colonel and when he went through the third, I bounced right off it and fell unconscious as the arm band fell off."

"How did that make you feel?" asked Anise.

"I was unconscious," Carter bit out sarcastically. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the Colonel's mouth twitch as he smothered a smile.

"After you woke up," Anise prompted patiently.

"I woke up and felt completely drained and weak. I picked up the useless arm band and threw it to the side as I struggled to sit up. I felt disgusted that I had so seriously misjudged the power of the armbands to affect our judgment and that I had not maintained scientific skepticism. Now we were in trouble and had defied direct orders to get there."

"And where was Colonel O'Neill?"

"He was lying unconscious on the other side of the force field and his arm band had fallen off too," she replied impatiently. Anise already knew that.

"And how did that make you feel?" Anise continued adjusting switches and hadn't even looked up at Carter's accusatory tone.

"I was scared," admitted Carter. She took a deep breath. "I called his name and he woke up right away. He tried to make me feel better by cracking a joke, but I knew I was trapped on the wrong side of the force field. We both checked our watches and it was less than two minutes until the C-4 explosives blew up the cooling lines."

Carter paused as she felt certainty fill her. They had only been unconscious for a few seconds or the explosion would have already happened. There was no way anyone could have programmed either of them as zatarcs and then have time to get away without one of them seeing. The sniggling of doubt that had grown over the past two days melted with the certainty that she was right. If she could admit her true feelings as she recounted her memories, then the machine would prove her innocent as well.

"The Colonel started hitting the force field with his hands and feet like a child having a temper tantrum. He broke off a torch from the wall and used it to hit the field as well. I told him to get out of there as there was no time left but he said I had to get out too. I knew there was no way he could bring down the force field with brute force and I was mad at him for being so stupid and wasting his time trying to knock it down like a brick wall." She glanced over at the Colonel to see how he took her calling him stupid, but he was still standing stoically at parade rest.

"He managed to pry open a control box on the wall, but there was no time to try to figure it out. We could hear the sounds of Jaffa armor as they marched down the corridor towards us. The Colonel started hitting the control box manically and I shouted at him to just go. He screamed no. I was shocked at the wild look in his eyes, and we just stood there staring at each other."

She paused for a moment and considered her words. How could she say that it was at that moment that she realized that she they were in love with each other? Relief that he had gone first flooded her. She'd follow his lead as always, "It felt like time froze for a moment and I knew that he'd always be there for me and would never leave me. That he cared for me as much as I cared for him."

Her eyes slid over to where he was standing and found his warm, brown eyes shining into hers with a rare glint of hope. She forced herself to break the contact before they found themselves court-martialed for fraternization and looked up at the gallery window at the two observers there. Teal'c sat calmly as usual and she knew she could trust his discretion. She looked at Dr. Janet Frazier the chief medical officer and her best friend, she hoped. Carter raised a questioning eyebrow and Janet shook her head slightly. This would fall under the purview of doctor-patient confidentiality she was sure.

"You are not a zatarc," pronounced Anise. Carter closed her eyes and bowed her head with a sigh of relief.

"Thank you," Carter replied dismissively. It was over.