Phairy Odd-Mother

By: Volitaire

Take one lonely saxophonist who's obsessed with The Phantom of the Opera. Mix in one crazy old woman and a hell of a lotta copyright infringement and you've got it. But what happens when Clarke finally meets her beloved? Will she realize the true meaning of friendship, loyalty, and some other feel-good crap? A parody of Cinderella and PotO, and inspired by a chocolate bar and some saxophone reeds.

Subject: Science project

To: Kirk-

I really need some help on my project. I was thinking about doing a project on why science is so boring. Wait; I'm exaggerating. I wasn't really thinking about school this summer! I'm not some stupid science teacher or something…-Clarke

"Crap, maybe I shouldn't have sent that," Clarke said out loud. Why did she think of these things after her mistakes? She was about to get up again when she saw an incoming email light up the screen.

"Maybe this will change my life!" she said optimistically.

Subject: Stop posting irrelevant comments!

To: you are, stop posting posts about the Phantom of the Opera on stories about the Dow Jones Market!

Clarke looked up towards the ceiling.

"I said, geee, maybe this email will change my life! Cough!"

Just as she said these words, another email popped up.

Subject: Science project…Just kidding! a change of scenery?

Obsessed with a certain Broadway show?

Need singing lessons, plastic surgery, nice clothes, money-Hell, a new life?

Then you've come to the right place! Or, I've come to you, the right, um, left place….

ANYWAY-Clarke, meet me at the park on fifth avenue and Dream street at five o clock tonight… Perot forever!

IF YOU DON'T PASS THIS ON IN THE NEXT THREE MINUTES, YOU WILL BE HIT BY A SEMI AND THEN BY A BUS AND THEN BY ANOTHER SEMI! God Bless!

"Oh my gosh! It's five o clock right now! Oh, wait; no it's not. I'm just being dramatic!"

At any rate, Clarke got her coat, even though it was summer in Key West, and sped off towards the park.------

After waiting nearly an hour for the mystery person, Clarke was ready to give up. So far, the only people who had come by were a man mumbling about the government stealing his peanut butter and a few mimes. But suddenly…

"Would you be interested in this sample of oatmeal on a cracker?" asked an older lady passing by the bench. Before Clarke could answer, the lady sat down and took out a business card.

"Experienced Assassin, low rates…," read Clarke.

"Wrong card!"

The lady handed her another one.

"Fairy Godmother for hire; experience, low rates, and guaranteed results! Guarantee void in all states/U.S. territories except Guam," read Clarke.

"So you're a fairy godmother?" she asked as the lady took a wand out of her purse.

"Yes. Yes, I am! And, I happen to know that you think you need my help!"

Clarke nodded and the lady continued.

"I know exactly what you want: You want to be prettier, to be a singer, and to become dictator of Switzerland. Well," she paused, "Maybe not that last one. But I also know you wish to ensnare a certain…phantom?"

Clarke nodded, as she seemed to have lost the capability to do anything else.

"You could do that for me?" the girl asked astonished.

"I could. But…There would be a price," the lady said craftily.

"How about one Bahamian dollar and a 2.5 Bari sax reed?"

"It's a deal! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAAH-I mean," the fairy checked herself, "Very good choice. Now, we shall get started with you're new life!"

Clarke couldn't be happier. At least for now. (I'm a pessimist; my main character can't stay happy for very long.)

TBC…

Well…This was fun to write! Hope you like! Next chapter, I promise we shall see our (and by our I mean "my") favorite character: Nadir! I mean, Erik! Yay! (Authoress does happy dance).-V.