Chapter 1: Onee-chan, The Kitchen-Killer
'Nother new story! With a new pairing! I've been liking this pairing more and more lately and there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of it out there, so I figured why not?
Shout out to NoMutant, who read this before and gave really important feedback. Thank you!
During Lunch
"Why does it always get so stinky..." Kagami complained as she leaned over her desk.
"Well, what did you use?" Konata asked from her side of the school desk.
"Baby oil." Kagami said. There was a moment where no one spoke.
"Kagamin... Baby oil? Really?" Konata asked.
"Well what should I have used?" Kagami asked.
"Well... Maybe vegetable oil?" Konata suggested as if she were a talking to a toddler.
"Really?" Kagami asked.
"Yes. You don't use baby oil for that." Konata said. Kagami looked over to Tsukasa.
"Really?" Kagami asked. "But it just said to oil it!" Kagami protested. Tsukasa looked to her sister sympathetically.
"I don't really think you can use baby oil like that..." Tsukasa mumbled.
"Kitchen-killer Kagamin..." Konata giggled.
"Shut up!" Kagami shouted. She sighed. "Tsukasa, do you think you could maybe..." Kagami trailed off.
"I'll help you out next time." Tsukasa smiled pleasantly.
"Thanks Tsukasa..." Kagami sighed in relief. Whenever Tsukasa helped Kagami in the kitchen, it almost always turned out good. Even when Tsukasa was simply in the room with her and not actually helping with the cooking.
"Any time Onee-chan..." Tsukasa smiled.
"Tsukasa's gonna be such a good wife one day..." Konata commented.
"Yeah..." Kagami sighed and put her head in her hand as she began thinking of such a scene.
The Theater of Kagami's Mind
Kagami walked into the house.
"Tsukasa~, I'm home~!" She called out.
"Onee-chan~!" Tsukasa ran into the room and hugged Kagami around the neck. "Welcome home Onee-chan." Tsukasa smiled.
"Mmmm~..." Kagami hummed as she sniffed the air. "Tsukasa, what is that delicious scent?" She asked.
"Kindled chicken and lotus root!" Tsukasa said cheerfully. Kagami hummed even louder, sounding almost like a moan.
"Thank you so much Tsukasa..." Kagami smiled as she and Tsukasa scurried into the kitchen. Dinner passed between the two of them like it always did and Kagami and Tsukasa talked about this and that.
"And it wasn't smelly any~more!" Tsukasa chimed. Kagami sighed happily as she sat back.
"Tsukasa, that was amazing~..." She moaned softly.
"I'm glad Onee-chan..." Tsukasa mumbled, fidgeting. "So we've had dinner! Would you like a bath now?"
"Hmmm." Kagami looked slyly at Tsukasa. Tsukasa blushed again and fidgeted.
"If I can join you..." She mumbled. Kagami grinned.
"Please!" Kagami jumped up and grabbed Tsukasa's hands as she pulled her from the room.
"Kagamin!" She heard Konata yelled.
Snap back to Reality
"Gah!" Kagami jerked violently.
"Kagamin, what were you thinking about so dreamily?" Konata asked with a cat-grin. Kagami blushed as she looking around, trying to find a way out of the question. She looked at Miyuki to see she was also watching Kagami. She looked over at Tsukasa, who was smiling a clueless smile. Kagami's blush darkened.
"Wah!" She looked back at the table. "I-I gotta go to the bathroom!" She said as she ran out of the room. The three of them looked after her for a moment.
"I'm gonna go see if she's okay..." Tsukasa mumbled as she got up.
"I'm sure Kagami-san is fine." Miyuki said. Tsukasa stopped and looked at the door again. "You should stay here, Tsukasa." Miyuki eye smiled. Sighing, Tsukasa sat back down.
"Alright..." Tsukasa sighed.
Kagami ran down the hallway and pushed the door in. She dashed through the bathroom and into a stall. She put the lid down and sat.
"Why did I run...?" She asked herself. She didn't need to use the restroom. But Tsukasa's radiant smile was somehow embarrassing. There shouldn't be any problem with thinking of how Tsukasa is gonna be as a wife, but... Why did I picture myself? Kagami wondered. She put her head in her hands. No, you see, I didn't mess up! She began reasoning. It's only natural to imagine yourself when you're thinking of a situation, right? She nodded to herself. "That's right, this isn't a problem!" She said to herself. "So what that I imagined myself married to my sister, that's only natural!" She shouted to the world. "Alright, better get back before they get worried." She said to herself as she went and opened the door to the stall. Patricia stood there, staring at her.
"Oh, it WAS you Hiiragi-senpai..." Patricia mumbled. Kagami watched her in horror. Suddenly, Patricia gave her a thumbs up. "Don't worry Senpai, your secret is safe with me!" She winked and stuck her tongue out. Kagami stared at her for a moment through squinted eyes as her mind raced. A moment passed before she finally decided that there was no way to get out of this with talking. So, she simply sighed and began walking out.
"Thanks Patty." She decided on, putting a hand on Patricia's shoulder. It was more effort than it was worth to try and explain the situation. Not to mention the fact that she wasn't sure she could even explain it differently from how Patricia had taken it anyway.
"Any time Senpai! If you need any help with it, let me know!" She shouted enthusiastically.
"I'll keep that in mind." Kagami said as she walked out of the bathroom. She sighed to herself. "What a mess that almost turned into. I need to stop thinking out loud." Kagami mumbled.
"But then we wouldn't know what you were thinking Ka-ga-min~." Konata chimed.
"Like you guys need to know." She replied. Then it clicked in her head. "Whoa!" She jumped. "When did you get here?" Kagami asked the little Otaku.
"Just now. You were taking really long and Tsukasa was getting worried so Miyuki asked me to go check on you." Konata said. Kagami huffed.
"She asked you?" She asked. "Why wouldn't Tsukasa come if she was worried? Or Miyuki if she was concerned?" Kagami asked.
"Aw~, you hurt me Kagamin." Konata chimed. "You saying that I'm not good enough?" Konata asked.
"That's not what I'm saying, you idiot." Kagami said. "It's just weird she'd send someone rather than do it herself. It's not like her." Kagami said.
"So are you okay Kagami?" Konata asked out of what at least sounded like legitimate concern.
"Y-Yeah... I think I'm good now." Kagami said.
"Good." Konata said as the two began walking back to class. "I was concerned because I saw that you had made your and Tsukasa's lunches." Konata said. Kagami's eyes flared over at Konata.
"What's that got to do with anything?" She asked in a lethal voice, already mostly sure of what was going to be said.
"Well, YOU made it and then you ate it. Then, you ran off to the bathroom. Can you blame me for assuming the worst?" Konata asked with a giggle. There was a flash as a bump swelled up on her head.
"Yes I can you idiot." Kagami said in an annoyed voice. She had to admit that Konata's reasoning actually wasn't all that bad, but that didn't mean it didn't piss her off. "So what did I miss?" Kagami asked.
"Not a whole lot. Tsukasa was just talking about what you guys were going to have for dinner." Konata said.
"Oh~, what did she decide?" Kagami asked. Konata hummed as she thought.
"Kindled chicken and lotus root." Konata said. Kagami stopped.
Oh, there goes gravity...
"Onee-chan, are you okay?" Tsukasa asked. Kagami drearily opened her eyes and looked around. She was in the nurses office.
"What happened?" Kagami asked her sister.
"Kona-chan said you fainted after she told you what I was thinking of making for dinner." Tsukasa said. She handed her older sister a bottle. "I got you some water!" She added cheerfully. Kagami smiled as she took the bottle and thought back. Right. Kindled chicken and lotus root. Like in her dream.
"By the way..." She mumbled. "What made you think of that meal in particular?" Kagami asked. Tsukasa put a finger to her lip as she looked up.
"Um... I dunno how to explain it..." She thought out loud. "I just had a feeling like you might like it." She smiled. "Like something amazing would happen if we had it!" Tsukasa said excitedly.
"Tsukasa..." Kagami mumbled as her day dream came back vividly. She decided to try and hide her embarrassment by drinking. The curtain suddenly opened and Konata appeared, alongside Miyuki.
"Oh, there goes Rabbit!" Konata said loudly. Kagami jumped and gasped a bit, causing water to go down the wrong pipe. She began coughing as Tsukasa jumped with her. Tsukasa began patting Kagami's back. "She choked..." Konata said.
"I'm not a god damn rabbit for crying out loud!" Kagami shouted.
"She's so mad..." Konata giggled a bit. Kagami sighed, but she won't give up that easy.
"Damn it... I'm sorry to worry you guys." Kagami apologized, looking adamantly at the wall, refusing to give up at least that much.
"It's okay, Onee-chan... As long as you're really alright..." Tsukasa beamed. Kagami relaxed more when she looked over and saw her sister's smile.
"Are you sure Kagami-san? After all, you needed the restroom and then fainted..." Miyuki asked in concern.
"I'm okay Miyuki. Thanks though." Kagami smiled up to her friend. How did Tsukasa know what I was thinking... Could it be something like twin telepathy? Kagami wondered, for once giving an idea that Konata had come up with some credit. She sighed a bit. Hokey pokey, huh? She thought, remembering what Konata had said. She sat up in bed, moving the covers off of her.
"Is it alright to get up Onee-chan?" Tsukasa asked. Kagami smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, I'm feeling fine now." Kagami stretched.
"Are you sure?" Konata asked. "After all, you've been asleep for three days." Konata said. The scene froze.
"Three days?!" Kagami shouted.
"Kona-chan..." Tsukasa mumbled. Kagami looked between her twin and Konata before Konata suddenly rubbed the back of her head.
"..." Kagami stared at her for a moment. "Ko-na-ta..." Kagami growled.
"Well... School IS over now..." Konata mumbled.
"Don't lie about something that important!" She shouted as she swung down at Konata's head. Konata, however, moved backwards to dodge.
"Ha ha!" She laughed as she dashed from the room.
"Get back here ya little runt!" Kagami ran after her. Miyuki and Tsukasa both giggled.
"I suppose she's back to normal." Miyuki said.
"Yeah..." Tsukasa smiled. The two of them followed Kagami and Konata down the hall.
In the Hall
"Kagamin." Konata smiled as another bump swelled up on her head.
"What?" She asked, huffing in irritation.
"These bumps will go down, but you'll always be a kitchen killer." Konata said. A third bump soon joined the others.
"You're a moron." She said, though she smiled a little. Even when she collapsed, Konata seemed to refuse to treat her differently. Kagami could respect that. She certainly appreciated it. As cool as it was to be worried over, she didn't like to make people worry.
"Yeah, but I can cook." Konata said.
"Do you WANT me to hit you?" Kagami asked.
"If you keep putting lumps on my lumps, then I'll eventually get to be taller than you!" Konata said.
"It'd take a thousand for a pipsqueak like you to get taller than me." Kagami smirked. "If you want though, I really will give you a thousand." She said, cracking her knuckles. "Maybe I should punch you in the chest too." Kagami continued.
"Kagamin, you're really evil when I tease you." Konata giggled. "You'll never get a boyfriend like that." Konata teased.
"Maybe I don't want a boyfriend." Kagami crossed her arms and looked up. "Maybe I'm not trying to get a boyfriend." She said.
"Well you're definitely succeeding then." Konata said. Kagami glared at her.
"You suck." She said.
"Anywhere you want, Kagamin~." Konata chimed. Kagami blushed. "Ya know Kagamin, I'm beginning to think you might not like guys." Konata said.
"What makes you say that?" Kagami asked.
"You blush when I tease you and you get super lonely whenever I'm not around." Konata chimed.
"That second one is a stupid reason with no basis in reality." Kagami said.
"Oh yeah?" Konata asked. "And why is that?" She asked. Kagami looked triumphant as she looked up again.
"I~ have Tsukasa!" Kagami said triumphantly.
"So your counter to the fact that you aren't lonely is that you have your twin sister?" Konata asked. Kagami nodded.
"Uh-huh." She said proudly. Konata continued to stare at her for a few moments.
"..." Konata smiled. "Alright." She chuckled a bit.
"Hey, what's with that pitying laugh?" Kagami asked.
"It's nothing." Konata said. "So what are you going to do once Tsukasa actually gets married?" Konata asked. Kagami stopped walking again. Konata noticed and looked back to her. "You're not gonna faint again, are you?" Konata giggled. Kagami sighed.
"No." She shook her head. "I guess... I never really thought about it..." Kagami said seriously. "I've always thought about my and everyone's future, but in it..." Kagami sighed.
"We were always together?" Konata asked.
"All of us were still in touch, yeah, but... Tsukasa was always by my side." Kagami sighed.
"... You know you sound like a lesbian, right?" Konata asked. Flash. Bump number four.
"Idiot." Kagami crossed her arms with a light blush. "Tsukasa's my sister. And my twin. Isn't it natural that I'd want to stay close with her?" Kagami asked.
"Isn't that what all of the twincest couples say before they get together?" Konata asked. Kagami simply glared at her as they arrived at the door to the school.
"We... We could always just marry twins! Then we could all live in the same house!" Kagami said.
"Poor Kagamin~! Tsukasa's gonna get married one day and leave you all~ alone~!" Konata chimed in a sing-song voice.
"..." Kagami's head bowed a bit as her hair fell to hide her eyes. "... Yeah." She said. "I guess you're right Konata. She'll get married one day and I'll be by myself for the rest of my life." Kagami said. She began walking past Konata, heading out of the school now that classes were over. "Thanks for opening my eyes, Konata." She said as she walked off. Konata watched, a bit stunned at what had just happened. She had only meant to tease the Tsundere. While she stood there, looking at where Kagami was walking away, Tsukasa and Miyuki caught up to her.
"Kona-chan?" Tsukasa asked as she walked up. "Where did Onee-chan go?" She asked. Konata wordlessly pointed after the Tsundere. Tsukasa looked down to see Kagami walking away by herself slowly. "Onee-chan~!" Tsukasa chimed as she ran after her big sister. Konata sighed and knocked herself on the head.
"Are you feeling okay Konata-san?" Miyuki asked. Konata sighed.
"I'm an idiot." She said. She should have known that Kagami getting lonely was a sensitive topic, but she had teased her about it before. Apparently though, Tsukasa was not a good teasing topic. "I'm alright..." She said. "So, wanna go do something?" Konata asked the Moe queen. Miyuki eye-smiled.
"I'm afraid I have a dentist appointment soon. Perhaps another time?" Miyuki asked. Konata chuckled and scratched the back of her head.
"Alrighty." She said. "Good luck." Konata shrugged as she waved. The both of them left in opposite directions. Konata sighed as she walked to the station to get on the subway home.
Kagami and Tsukasa continued to walk home. However, unlike every single other time the two walked home together, Kagami found herself in a sour mood that even Tsukasa's presence couldn't erase. In fact, it made her even more melancholy than when she had left Konata.
"Onee-chan, are you sure you're okay?" Tsukasa asked. Kagami sighed.
"Yeah... Just thinking about something depressing." She said. Tsukasa's worried look only turned more so.
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Tsukasa asked, trying to smile comfortingly. Kagami looked at her and couldn't help a smile, though it was a decidedly sad one.
"... Well..." Kagami began. Even to her own sister though, the words were incredibly embarrassing.
"Yes Onee-chan?" Tsukasa asked, blindingly excited to help her sister. "Anything you want!" She said. Kagami watched her for a moment, trying to speak.
Let's keep hanging out forever... Kagami thought. She sighed. "Can we go to a cake buffet?" Kagami decided on after several moments of debate. Tsukasa smiled and got a determined look.
"That's all? Sure Onee-chan! My treat!" Tsukasa grabbed Kagami by the hand and began running.
"Tsu-Tsukasa!" Kagami shouted as Tsukasa dragged her away. Tsukasa giggled a bit and smiled to her older sister. It wasn't often that she felt she was the one doing the cheering up and Kagami always helped her out, so at least this once, she could definitely enjoy helping Kagami out. Kagami seemed in the dumps and that wasn't something that anybody saw often. To depress Kagami, it must have been something particularly gloomy. After running for a while, which was frankly surprising considering Tsukasa wasn't all that physically fit, they stopped when they were close to one that Tsukasa apparently knew of. The two were panting at how far they had run.
"Here... we are... Onee-chan..." Tsukasa huffed out as she leaned on her knees.
"Club... Harie..." Kagami looked up at the sign. It gave her a sick feeling in her stomach and the weirdest feeling of deja-vu. Kagami shook her head. "Sorry Tsukasa, but do you mind if we go somewhere else?" Kagami asked. Tsukasa cocked her head to the side like a puppy receiving orders before smiling and nodding.
"Alright Onee-chan..." Tsukasa smiled. The two of them departed from that place soon after. "Did you not like that place Onee-chan?" Tsukasa asked.
"Well... It just gave me a bad feeling, you know? Like something might happen if we go there..." Kagami said. Tsukasa hummed.
"Hmmm... Like what?" She asked.
"... I dunno." Kagami shrugged. "Like we'd go in and I would accidentally ignore you or something." Kagami said.
"If that's what you wanted, I'd be fine with it!" Tsukasa chimed. Kagami looked at her sister with a loving smile on her face.
"Now how could I ignore you?" Kagami asked as she ruffled Tsukasa's hair. Tsukasa closed her eyes and rubbed her head against Kagami's hand, giggling a bit as she did. It had become something of a thing between the two of them and Tsukasa always felt happy when her sister showed her such attention. She wasn't sure why, but whenever Kagami touched her or showed her love, she felt all warm and fuzzy inside. Kagami sighed contently. She wanted this moment to continue forever.
"Ha~, Onee-chan~..." Tsukasa chimed happily. However, the fact that Tsukasa seemed so happy began to make Kagami sad once again. Konata had a point. These days wouldn't last forever, unless Kagami were to ask Tsukasa to never marry. But that would be selfish, rude and certainly not fair to Tsukasa.
"I guess I'll just enjoy this while I can..." Kagami mumbled to herself.
"What was that Onee-chan?" Tsukasa asked, having not heard her sister. Kagami smiled sadly to her twin.
"It's nothing Tsukasa." Kagami said. "Come on, let's go." She grabbed Tsukasa by the hand this time and began pulling her to another nearby cake buffet, Sweets Paradise. After all, she was Kagami. She knew the location of every single cake buffet in Japan...
After Section
So, this is one of the stories I was talking about when I said that I wanted to try and see if it was any good.