HONEY'S KINGDOMS
I tried writing a crossover story called Honey's Kingdom, which was a crossover between Casualty and Kingdom Hospital, but it didn't quite work out. So this time around Honey's dream takes her to the world of fairy tales. Lots of Casualty characters and some O/C ones.
Honey was exhausted. Her other job as a pole dancer had taken its toll on her and she found it hard to keep awake today. Nobody seemed to be wanting her coffee at the moment, so she leant her head on her arms, just intending to have five minutes' sleep.
She suddenly realised she was in a very strange place. A deep, dark forest where the ground was covered in light snow.
"You! Young lady! Get out of this forest, for goodness sake! Don't you know the Wolf prowls at night?"
Honey looked up to see a handsome man in his mid-thirties looking angrily at her.
"I-I don't know where to go. I'm lost!" she wailed.
"Well, where are you from? This is the forest between Passionara and Morcara."
"I'm from England" wailed Honey.
"Where is that?"
Suddenly a howling made Honey's hair stand on end.
"Come on!" the man said angrily, grabbing Honey's hand, "You'd better come to my cottage for shelter."
Honey decided that going to a cottage with a strange man was a little less frightening than being in a forest with a roaming wolf.
"Thank you. What's your name?"
"Hide."
"Yes, you said that 'cause the wolf's coming!"
"No, my name is David Hide. Hurry now!"
They hurried along until they reached a moss-covered cottage. David opened the door and pulled Honey inside, locking and bolting the door after her.
"You can stay tonight, but tomorrow you must go back to England, wherever that might be. Don't worry, wench, I'll not harm you. I'll even share my supper with you."
"AwOOOOOOOOOO…..!" came the noise from outside.
"Was that the wolf?" asked Honey nervously.
David nodded.
"Don't fret. He can't get in here."
Honey put her hands out to the lovely warm fire.
"So what's them places you were talking about?"
"Just a moment. Let's eat and get warm first, then we'll talk."
After a quite delicious meal of bread, cheese and soup with fresh fruit to follow, and the nicest ale Honey had ever tasted, David explained.
"To the east of the forest is Passionara, ruled over by Prince Caleb. He's currently abroad, searching for a bride. To the west is Morcara, ruled over by Queen Constance. Not a very forgiving lady. She's recently lost her husband and has a very pretty stepdaughter, Lily White. From what I hear, Lily's badly treated and has to do all the menial jobs. There's also a notorious set of bandits – seven of them altogether – that live in Morcara."
A frantic hammering on the door made David jump. He shrugged and shouted through the door:
"Who's there?"
"Please, PLEASE let me in! The wolf's out there tonight."
"Baby Bear, have you been playing out for too long again? Your poor parents will be going frantic!"
David opened the door and to Honey's terror, a little black bear cub ran in and sat by the fire.
"You're a bad little bear. Now I'll have to take you home again. I hope your mum and dad smack your bottom hard when you get there" grumbled David.
He turned to Honey.
"I'll have to get him home. His parents will be worried. Will you stay and guard this cottage for me till I come back? Don't open the door to anybody."
"Will you be safe out there, though? With that wolf?"
"Don't worry about me, little wench. I've got this!"
He took down a lethal-looking crossbow from the wall. Then he gave Baby Bear a cuff on the ear, and the small animal followed him dejectedly outside. Honey sat by the fire, praying that David wouldn't be gone too long. She didn't like the thought of that wolf.
Suddenly there was a knock at the door.
"New lamps for old! New lamps for old!" said an Oriental accent.
"WHAT?" snapped Honey rudely.
"Oh sorry, Madam. I appear to have completely lost my bearings – I'm in another story altogether!"
And the voice faded off into the night.
It was about this time that a handsome peasant called Benjamin ventured out to make his mark on the world. He looked at the map he'd brought with him and surveyed his choices. Sadly, he chose Morcara.
Way up in the frozen North, King Brian was throwing a tantrum.
"Dylan! Come here, you useless brat of mine!"
The 'brat', a sandy-haired man in his thirties, came into the room and bowed.
"What is your will, father?"
"That you get your backside out into the world. Find a bride and don't come back without one!"
I don't want a bride, thought Dylan unhappily but knew his father would never accept that. His father would be very unhappy if he knew why Dylan didn't want a bride.
"May I take Dervla?"
"What, as your bride?" chortled his father.
Dylan stared at him blankly. His sense of humour wasn't the best.
"As my companion."
"Well, don't let the smelly thing repel any potential brides. Get her ready and then get yourself off. Take whichever of the horses in the Royal stable that you want, and then be off with you. Don't come back unless you intend to marry somebody!"
Dylan bowed briefly, went to find his beloved Lurcher dog, picked out a horse, and was off on his travels.
David returned to his cottage unscathed.
"Was that wolf out?" Honey asked.
"He'd gone to menace three small pigs but I saved them and gave him the treatment he deserved" said David, pulling a furry severed head from his saddle-bag. Honey nearly fainted.
"S-so the wolf terror's over then?"
David laughed grimly.
"Far from it. He has a bigger, smarter brother. Fortunately I gave the pigs sound advice on building a safer residence."
He said, thoughtfully:
"If you like, tomorrow I'll take you to Passionara. You should find some kind of employment there and then you can earn your passage home to England."
Towards the Passionara end of the forest, a young man called Jack Diamond was wheedling his mother.
"Mum, we can't sell Daisy. Not our lovely cow!"
"Jack, don't look at me like that. We're on the verge of starvation. But if you take Daisy to market and sell her, we can get at least five pounds for her."
Jack sighed for a long time, which made his mother box his ears, and then reluctantly went to the barn, tethered the cow and headed for the market, which was a hive of activity as usual.
"Hello, Ethan!"
The pretty young flower seller beamed at the handsome young man who had just come into the market.
"Hello, Sara. How are you?"
"I'm well. Do you need any flowers?"
"Well they're not on my shopping list. But I'll take a small bouquet please. It's Sophie's birthday soon and I want to get her a present."
"How's Sophie – and how are those two harpies, her stepsisters?"
"Mean to her as usual. I do what I can to protect her from them."
"Is it true about the rumours, do you know?"
Ethan was about to speak when a loud announcement on a megaphone ripped through the air.
"People of Passionara! Rejoice! Prince Caleb has finished his travels abroad and will be home tomorrow. Everybody is to assemble in the town square at noon to greet him as he deserves!"
Ethan's heart sank a little. Sophie, who he loved with all his heart, was always talking about how wonderful it would be when Prince Caleb returned home.
Even though she wasn't Ethan's to love, he adored pretty Sophie. But she just saw him as a friend. And now the Prince was returning home, she'd fall in love with him for certain.
"David Hide! It IS you! How are you, and who's this lady?"
A pretty woman with coffee-coloured skin and huge brown eyes came over to David and Honey.
"I'm well, Elle. This is Honey, who says she fell asleep in England and arrived here. Do you have a job and a place for her to live?"
"I do indeed. She can come with me; free board and lodging in return for being my apprentice."
"What is it you do?" asked Honey, who decided that nothing would surprise her any more.
"I'm an enchantress, dear. Now are you in or out?"
Honey thought of how cold the weather was and how that wolf's big brother could be running around soon.
"In please."
"Good, now say goodbye nicely to David and try not to scream when I do this-"
"-Do what?" asked Honey.
"This" giggled Elle, seizing Honey by her collar and flying into the air with her.