Despicable Me 2: Such is Life

by LeidaRose

Gru loses a bet and has to sing on Open Mike Night. Very short story involving the minions, the kids, and Gru. The idea just sorta popped into my head and I thought it was kinda funny. No teary love confessions or fluff this time, I'm afraid. Just fire-extinguishing minions and a freeze ray. Hope you get a laugh out of it :-)

"Go on, Gru. You promised."

"Yeah, go up!"

"Pleeease?"

Margo, Edith and Agnes looked up at Gru pleadingly. The smell of coffee was heavy in the air, and all around people laughed and drank their lemonades and teas and cocoas while tapping their feet to the idle music playing on the stereo. The wooden stage was just a chair slide and a few steps away. A neon green construction-paper sign hung on the stage, reading "Open Mike Night". The "i"s were dotted with smiley faces. Gru groaned.

"Okay, fine. Fine! I'm going. Look at me, I'm going." The ex-villian walked over to the stage and up the steps, to the microphone. "Hello." He spoke into the device, but noone looked up.

"Hello? Hello, I am-" He tapped the microphone. It was on.

"Look, heeey listen to me. I-" He groaned again. Shaking his head, he whipped out his freeze ray and angled the microphone towards it.

"FREEZE RAY!" He yelled, and shot the stereo, stopping the music and letting the loud firing sound of his favorite weapon echo through the cafe.

Every eye in the building was soon focused on him. He put his freeze ray back. Gru folded his hands behind his back and leaned into the microphone.

"Hello! I am Gru." Many strangers' faces stared back at him. "I have lost a bet, so now I have to sing for all you horrible people."

A man in the cafe chuckled quietly.

"Okay, who laughed? Raise your hand and be terminated." Silence once again fell over the audience. "Good. Now shut up and listen." He tried to start the music, but nothing happened.

"What the- Kevin, un-freeze the stereo..."

Kevin rushed towards the stereo with the heat blaster. As Kevin screamed a battle cry, a raging column of fire flew from the barrel, melting the ice.

And also setting the stage on fire.

"Bee-do, bee-do, bee-do, bee-do"

A minion with a fire extinguisher desperately tried to put out the flames. Eventually the fire was gone and the stage was charred and covered in white fluff. Gru had his eyes closed and a hand over his forehead.

"Bee-do, bee-do, bee-do"

"Okay, you can stop that now Jerry."

"Bee-do-"

"JERRY!" Gru yelled. Jerry shrank away.

Gru sighed. "Now I have to apologize to Jerry. Kevin, go bake some muffins. And DON'T SET ANYTHING ON FIRE." Kevin saluted and ran off. The music finally started. Gru cleared his throat and opened his mouth. And then security pulled him off the stage and kicked him out of the cafe. He had just set it on fire, after all.

Such is life.