I don't own anything so you can't sue me, you know who you are. This is a one-shot Wobbly Headed Bob story explaining his origin in a very Dr. Seuss type of way. If I'd spelled Wobbly Headed Bob wrong in any way just say so in the review and I'll go and change it. This story is kind of short.
Once upon a time, in a magical land, there was a cute creature skipping about. He was humming tunes, such tunes did he hum. He had a big head and it wobbled a lot, that's why other cute creatures called him Wobbly Headed Bob. No one knows why they added the Bob part. They just felt like it. So skipping about, the wobbliest of all the headed Bobs he was.
Out of nowhere there was a mushroom. The mushroom looked delicious and nutritious. Those who are older have told bob, that these mushrooms can make you higher then a floating moose. Remember did he, no, he is dim-witted you see. So he ate the mushroom, he gobbled it up fast, while the mushroom opened its mouth and shrilled the loudest of all death cries.
Bob started to feel a change, something was not right. He was beginning to realize that he was annoyed by everything around him. He knew that he was annoyed because everything is so stupid here. He was shocked and disgusted by all the stupid.
"It must have been that mushroom!" Bob yelled. "I can not stand this place, right above me there are birds in a nest hugging and kissing, birds don't have the mental ability to hug and kiss. Over there, there is a bear and a deer telling stupid jokes out of a newspaper. First of there is no newspaper in a overly cheerful place such as this and second, that bear should be tearing that deer limb by limb."
Bob rambled on for maybe an hour, while others started to gather. Creatures that looked like Bob, but with less of the wobbliness of the heads, pointed and stared. Old Bob looking creatures approached, they were the Elders, with staffs big and high and beards that run for miles.
"Well look at that, it looks like we got ourselves a smart one," the Elders said in a thick southern accent.
"We should make him our leader, he'll lead us and stuff. Ain't that a good idear?" one of the Elders suggested.
"He be smarter then us and take over, we mush banish his smart behind away," another elder said while others grunted in agreement.
So off into the world Bob went, being annoyed by everyone around. One day Bob had enough; he got some rope and tied it around the tree so he can escape the glee. So around the tree, then around his neck, he climbed up the tree and prepared for the end.
"Wait a minute," Bob said shocked, "death hurts and causes pain. I won't jump, I'm to smart for pain anyway."
Bob got the rope off of his neck and climbed down the tree thinking of what to do next.
"I'll make other smart people, like me," Bob said out loud. "We'll then join together and escape from glee, the joy, and the stupid.
So into the sunset, Bob walked. Bob no longer skipped and he no longer hummed, but he had a mission and that is enough. How do I know such a long story, why just last night Bob came and told me, Bob thought I could be different, but wrong he was. For I will never stop rhyming the horrible rhymes you heard today. So good-bye and keep this at heart, being smart was not all that good for Bob.
That's the story, it wasn't that good, but I had this idea for a while. Thanks for living through it. At some points the narrator started to sound like Yoda, but that's my rhyming ability for you.