Giving Back
Black-Angel-001: so this is a supernatural fic and it's a different view point on why sam went to college. the idea came from my little bro who pointed this out to me. ah, thought hamsters and little brothers do good companions make.
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural nor the characters. This doesn't stop me from loving those characters though. :)
Giving Back
Sam didn't go to Stanford just to get away from his father (although that did play a small part), nor did he go to Stanford to get out of hunting (although that did play a big part). Sam definetely did not go to Stanford to get away from his brother-at least, not the way most people would think.
Sam had gone to Stanford for Dean first and himself second.
His older brother had practically raised him and had given everything he could to his little brother. If Sam wanted the last of the Lucky Charms, Sam got it, despite Dean's grumbles and sour attitudes.
When Sam started hunting with his father and brother, Dean put Sam's safety and health above anyone else's -his own included- and didn't mind if his father muttered loudly about Sam being a big boy. Dean would nod respectfully and continue on like John hadn't said a word.
When Sam started almost knock-out, drag-out fights with his father, Dean put aside his own feelings to keep John from saying something that would push Sam away for good.
Dean just always put Sammy first, no matter what the cost to himself. God help the poor bastard who tried anything, because no one on the green earth (or under it or just this side of it for that matter) was going to mess with Sam Winchester without serious payback.
Sam had finally seen what was happening, how far Dean was willing to go, when he was fifeteen. Dead had put himself in the way of a poltergeist going after Sam, got two broken ribs for it, then tried to challenge Mother Nature because it was raining, which cancelled Sam's soccer game, which disappointed Sam (who didn't really care too much considering Dean's condition, but Dean was on strong painkillers) and while Sam was grateful his brother cared that much, it also scared him.
Dean wasn't going to have much of a life, such as it were, if he were constantly taking care of Sam. Some of it was just normal big brother stuff, but some of it made Sam wonder if it was right that Dean sacrifice everything for Sam. He didn't think so and began figuring ways of making it easier on Dean.
He worked harder in school, made top grades all the time, even in P.E. He trained harder in the hunting skills John taught him, which resulted in him becoming more capable to handle himself on hunts and got John off his back about it. He tried to fight less with his father and because of his improvement in hunting it worked alot, but he and John were too alike in personalities to let it go completely. So while the fights were few and far, they were more intense and angry, and hurt Dean more. By the time he was eightteen, there was always an undercurrent of tension between Sam and John that put pressure on Dean. To Sam, that wasn't acceptable.
That left an option he'd only considered as a last resort: leaving.
Sam filled out college applications in secret, mainly because he didn't think he would be accepted anywhere. His attendance record wasn't the best and he had transcripts from practically all over the country which made it a little difficult to get them. But when the letter from Stanford came, Sam could hardly believe it.
He was going to college. He was going to give his brother a chance to make sacrifices for Dean, not Sam.
He'd expected his father's anger, but not at the level it came out. He'd expected his brother's hurt, but not the betrayl in his eyes.
Rather than put Dean in another spot of monkey in the middle, Sam had let John rant and rage and bit the inside of his mouth so hard he'd bled. Rather than let Dean push aside his own betrayl and hurt to defuse a shouting match, Sam had remained still and looked straight at his father. And when John knocked his youngest on his ass in the middle of the cheap hotel room, Sam had stood, grabbed his two bags, and walked out without a word or a glance back, rather than have Dean turn on their father for showing his frustration.
And now, two years since that night in the hotel, many more years since their childhood, Dean is trying to convince Sam to go with him back to that old life to look for their father. And Sam is putting out all the denials he can except the real one because Dean's pride won't hear it and Sam's ego won't say it. So he talks his well-known line about normal and a new life, but he's really worried about falling back into old routines; Dean not taking care of himself first and Sam second.
He goes with Dean anyway.
On the road, Sam realizes, a little, when Dean knows Sam is safe and taken care of, Dean pretty much is too. It isn't the grandest of realizations, not one that makes him jump up and down excitedly, but it does make him a little more aware of what he does. Again though, pride and ego keep those thoughts and feelings locked up.
After the case, Sam still talks about going back to college, but he knows better.
Sam went to Stanford so Dean would put himself first.
Sam left Stanford because Dean couldn't put himself first, but Sam could help him by being there. So that's what he did.