Yet another calm, dreary day in the Palace of Kanoval.
Fourteen-year-old Sophia penned the opening to her mental diary, as she woke from her usual nightmare to the same old peeling paint on the ceiling in her cubbyhole.
But something was different today. She felt the dry, frigid air swirling around her, smelt the sharp scent of snow mingled with the dull pong of dampness. Yet again, without prior notice, winter has abruptly blown in to this so-called southern land of no snow.
Pushing her tired and aching body up from the bare mattress, Sophia checked herself in the mirror which had long since been reduced to a mere rounded shard of glass. Sharp gray eyes on a weathered, weary face stared back at her on the small palm-sized sliver, framed by lank, unkempt golden hair. She tilted the mirror shard a bit, and smiled wanly as her dull gray irises morphed into an ice-blue of utmost beauty. The blue of her father's eyes.
It never ceases to surprise her how this simple sight could always bring a small smile to her lips, a reassuring warmth to her heart. Even on the darkest, loneliest days. Even when she was on the brink of giving up hope.
"Wish me happy birthday, Father." She whispered in plea, though she knew full well that he would never hear. King Kalo is in Tristor right now, apparently to renew some trade pact. Sophia doubt he'd be back anytime soon; he and King Chabrien being such the amicable friends they have always been.
Heaving a long sigh, Sophia got up and changed into her clean yet tattered uniform, before venturing out of the maid chambers into the cold winter morning.
Sophia trudged slowly through the thigh-high snow towards the Snowsong, the Queen's residence, unfettered by the cold, protected as always by her Snowland blood. Other maids rush by in closely-knitted groups, their cloaks battered by the gale as they pass the poor knights standing sentry with their freezing hands latched tightly around their spears, rammed into the pure-white snow to keep themselves from flying off.
Every once in a while, a carriage would amble pass with a nobleman inside slumped grandly against the plump velvet cushions, enjoying the warm and cozy comfort which comes with having blue blood in your veins.
Well, not always. Thought Sophia sullenly, morose gray eyes following the latest carriage as it headed to the main castle. At least not for me.
Sophia's first task of the day is cleaning up a storeroom in the Snowsong and getting rid of the snow in the courtyard and pathways. Queen's residence it may be, Snowsong rarely had the chance to host its owner; Queen Feliona prefers to reside with her husband in the main castle.
Especially when considering her current main objective. She definitely must spend the night with Father.
The thought deepened Sophia's scowl of displeasure, as she felt her heart throb once in pain and anguish. The Wanebli Royal Family is currently in desperate need of an heir, after the stillborn death of Prince Zethean and many others later. And it was all her fault. Her stupid, selfish fault.
Perhaps if I had been born a boy, things might have been different. Much different.
Sophia glanced around at the winter scenery, at the snow-capped pine tree-tops and hedgerows, the icicles hanging from the castle battlements, jingling in the soft wind, and felt shame burning hot on her cheeks even in the biting cold. Deep down, however, she also felt a tempered fire of jealousy and hurt.
If only someone would have it in the smallest corner of his heart to appreciate this beauty of winter, to remember that a life had been born into this world on this very same day, fourteen years ago. Especially those two swimming in her head right now. But no, all they did was try to replace her with new kids.
How so cruel. Yet she couldn't bring herself to hate them. Most of the time.
Sophia sighed a wistful sigh, shook the dark, depressing thoughts from her head then moved on. Her parents had somehow forgotten all about her. She couldn't figure out how to remind them yet, and she may never will for the rest of their mortal lives, so best just get used to it and settle with what she had.
After around ten minutes of crunching through the snow and trying not to think gloomy things in the light of yet another forgotten birthday, Sophia's feet brought her to a stop in front of an austere structure of gray marble.
Usually in spring, Snowsong would flourish with a thousand flowers of a hundred colors, helping much to dilute the somber air, but now the virgin snow only served to paint a stark contrast of gray against bright white. Sophia herself find the sight soothing, but it pains her to think how the Queen would feel about it. Seeing how she so despised the dreary cold of winter.
Keeping her questions to herself, Sophia hung her head then climbed the steps to the wide-open entrance. Even as the King is out on a business trip, the Queen usually stays in the castle. Which is why Sophia isn't expecting to find anyone other than maids when she nearly walked straight into someone much, much more remarkable in the main hallway.
"Oi, watch where you're going, lass!"
The familiar, sweet yet un-ladylike voice jolted Sophia from her reverie. She raised her gaze to meet the large, startled brown eyes of a woman in her late thirties with her brown hair worn in a loose ponytail. She was smartly decked out in a riding outfit, though the image was tainted by her awkward pose; flung back into the room behind, her hands gripping the doorframe for support. Not that she fancies going riding in this weather, but it's the only outfit for female royalty which comes in pants.
"Sophia?" The woman exclaimed as recognition dawned in her eyes. Sophia felt the blood leave her face as the whole situation took shape in her head. Apparently the Queen had come out the door just when she passed and nearly collided with her.
Dammit! What am I thinking, loitering around with my head in the clouds in the Queen's residence?
Swearing feverishly in her head, Sophia quickly averted her gaze then curtsied as low as she could go.
"Your Majesty. I have most grievously disrespected you. Please forgive your most lowly servant."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, thank god you're done." Queen Feliona drawled tiredly, then went back to her usual lively lilt. "Just a simple freaking sorry would have done the job, Sophia. I'm not Kalo, remember?"
Other maids would probably have grinned sheepishly in response, but Sophia bowed her head, hiding the uninvited pain and fury in her eyes which struck with a mere careless word from her estranged mother.
Well, I'm your daughter, remember?
Sophia tried in vain to hush the retort she never voiced but which screamed in her head nonetheless. To the Queen, however, it looks like she simply stood there with her eyes downcast, stoic and forever humble as maids are required to be. She knows nothing about this chaos inside Sophia. But then, she knows nothing about pretty much everything about Sophia, anyway. Why the angst?
Maybe it's because it's December 22nd. Maybe it's because it's snowing and nobody gives a damn anymore. I'll get better tomorrow, surely. I always do, don't I? Always...
"So, what kind of havoc are you ordered to wreak in my castle today?"
With a simple sigh and a skyward eye-roll, the Queen got over Sophia's overly formal antics and moved on with the conversation. Sophia was about to answer, when she sensed something unusual about the Queen. Something coming from her middle, to be precise. Something which must have felt like warmth, and life, and love.
Must have, because to Sophia, she only felt cold and fear.
"Your Majesty..." She began hesitantly, flicking her gaze upwards to meet the Queen's for a swift second, before looking down once more. She could barely keep the tremble from her voice, transferring it to her fingers twisting the worn fabric of her dress. "Congratulations. His Majesty would be delighted to hear the news."
Felin blinked once in confusion, then she recovered.
"You could always surprise me, Sophia! All those tricks up your sleeve."
Felin chortled in amusement and wonder, reaching over to tousle the girl's hair fondly. She wasn't discouraged by Sophia's reluctance to return her smile or at least look her in the eye for once. The lass is always like this. Too prideful and distrusting for her own good. Well, guess she'll just have to try and break through that ice wall. It's not as if she hadn't accomplished that before. Otherwise she wouldn't have this baby inside her, would she?
The unbidden train of thought brought color and heat to Felin's cheeks, and she quickly ditched it. Noticing Sophia's questioning gaze at her spacing out, she hitched up a grin to cover it up.
"Yeah, I just found out right now. Haven't even told Kalo or the healers."
Felin turned and head back into the room, beckoning Sophia to follow. Stopping in the middle of the room, she turned back to the young maid then began unbuttoning her shirt, exposing her belly. It was still flat, but in a few months' time Felin know by experience that it would balloon up like a church dome.
"Well, since you're the first," She explained at Sophia's puzzled gaze, then stepped closer when the question turned into hesitance and...sorrow?
"Go on, I know you want to. Give him your blessing while you're at it."
Sophia raised her hand, and Felin could see that it is trembling. Slowly she reached forth, then touched the barest tips of her fingers to her womb. Then Felin felt it again, a peculiar sense of belonging, an inexplicable bond linking her and the mysterious young girl together. But, as before, it lasted for a mere second, before Sophia moved away, her head hung low, her expression hidden by the shadow of her long golden hair.
"How was it?" Felin asked with a soft smile. "Warm, right?"
Sophia seemed to come back to her senses then. She looked up and met Felin's eyes for a brief moment, then looked down at her middle once more.
"Yes, Your Majesty." Her reply was little more than a whisper. "Very, very warm."
"He will be a healthy little prince, Your Majesty. He is very warm."
Sophia assured her mother with a smile, as a drop of tear cold as ice trickled down her cheek.