She can't remember what she does to set him off. Bobby, that is. Was it yelling that started it first? Verbal abuse, that led to physical abuse? Or was it the other way around? Little white lines led to red marks which led to bruises. Slaps lead to punches. Kicking led to pushing and shoving and throwing.
She can't remember when it first began. The abuse, that is. After awhile, seconds turn to minutes, which turn to hours, which turn to days. Soon after, they all seem to blendtogether. Time is irrelevant when you're spending it with the same person everday, going through the same thing, second after second, minite after minute.
She can't remember how it first started. Thoughts turn to words, words that are first spoken, and then words that are yelled. Words eventually become accusations and trials, or at least according to Bobby. They lead to "accusations" of cheating, in Bobby's mind. But in Fiona's mind, they're not accusations. They're truths, truths supported by her own eyes, witnessing the crumbling of what she once thought was a perfect relationship.
She can't remember wheret it first started . Was it at school, in the quiet dark hallways? Did it start at her house, when she invited him over while her parents were away? Or maybe it started at Bobby's house, where they always seemed to be coveniently alone. It was always when they were alone, never anybody to witness when Bobby hurt her.
She can't remember why she stopped resisting. Did he make some threat to her? A threat aginst her family, a threat aginst Declan? Or did she become so tired of fighting it, so tired of pleas of him to stop falling on deaf ears? Was she so broken by Bobby, that she just didn't care?
But if she remembers one thing, it's who she first told. It was , Declan. Her twin, her other half. She sought solace from her brother, as she had so many times in the past, when things hadn't worked out. She believed that she would tell him, and everything would be alright, and back to normal. She remembers the incredible pain she felt when Declan told her he didn't believe her.
"You promised no more drama" he said to her sternly.
And when she gets up and leaves the room, away from her twin,she remembers thinking that the pain of knowing that her own twin, her own flesh and blood didn't believe her, hurts her so much more than any physical pain that Bobby could ever cause her.